So I've been orientating on my floor for 1 1/2 to 2 months now and feel like absolute trash. I started off training on days, the nurse I was trained with seemed please with me, was very informative, and encouraging, and it was great. Now I'm on nights, my intended shift. It's been about 3 weeks now and I am utterly confused by the feed back I'm getting from my new trainer.
Im at a point where I do about 95% or more of the job independently taking care of 4 to 5 patients a shift. I ask questions when I'm unsure of something, I'd rather look dumb then cause and problems serious or non serious. I can feel like I am absolutely rocking it all shift, but then by the end of the shift the feed back from my trainer gets me so confused, makes me feel so stupid, and often doesn't seem to match with the day I thought I'd had.
I have my areas I need to work on, mostly stuff school doesn't cover, or facility specific things, but I feel I do better in these areas each shift.
So here is how feedback usually gose: I can feel like I nailed time management but get coached about it end of shift as if I'd fails it miserably. Today I was coached about not relying on others for help or to do my work. I was told to be self reliant and independent. I was left speechless as I hadn't had help this shift at all, other than the very few questions I had for her. I check often to see that the CNAs had charted and that patient condition reflected that, but I was coached that some CNAs aren't as good and basically informed that I should just do that work too if I had too to be more self sufficient.
I am very uncomfortable when talking to her. she makes me very anxious. This is in no small part due to the fact that she doesn't give much, if any, positive feed back. I respect her, trust he judgement and experience, but I feel like an absolute screw up when I work with her.
She talks about learning to cluster care after I will have thought I had been doong so. She'll preach time management at the beginning of the shift when I will have finish with plenty of time to spare. I just don't get it at all. I wrack my brain going over my day trying to see where I messed up.
I do miss a few things here and there, but it will be things I haven't encountered or I know I need to work on. I own up to mistakes (missing a new order, forgetting to make a note) I go over them in my head, I try and think how I could do things more efficiently. I go in next shift determined to do better, and I'll feel like I do. But then I get coached once again for things I thought I'd done well.
Maybe I'm just bad at the job and don't realize it? It's all very discouraging and really makes me feel like a failure. Like maybe I'm not cut out to be a good nurse. Now I have 3 days left until I'm on my own and I'm just here feeling like absolute trash.
Maybe this is just how she is? Maybe she is trying to provide useful advice and it just comes off all wrong? I have worked on a project with a person for 3 months and to this day do not understand their form of communication. Listen to the words that she says and try not to bring any emotion into it. Write them down even (maybe not in her presence) so that you can read them later without emotion involved. Could she be clustering her disbursement of information to you as nuggets for you to hold onto and not reprimands? Don't doubt yourself. Some people just communicate differently.
Try to get used to hearing, you need to improve on this or do better at this, it is at the core of nursing. However know that if you aren't in danger of losing your job, you are doing things right enough. Your preceptor does not seem to know how to communicate without sounding to harsh. You are coming into a setting where people are used to their crew and have to find away to accept you plus help you. Keep that in mind.
Agree with pp, I haven't read anything that concerns me that your job is in jeopardy. Therefore, with a smile, thank your preceptor for the great advice.
You don't need any enemies and she will be evaluated for precepting you - maybe she just wants to be sure that everything is covered.
I personally think that there are a lot of weird nurses out there that do weird things to make them feel good about themselves. I bet you are doing just fine or even better than a lot of nurses around you. The fact your trying so hard makes you better than at least 50% of the nurses around you. Just be patient, get through orientation, and I bet you’ll be just fine. I bet you’ll be so happy to be on your own.
Specializes in ER, ICU, Infusion, peds, informatics.
On 12/1/2019 at 12:45 PM, drinndalynn said:
So here is how feedback usually gose: I can feel like I nailed time management but get coached about it end of shift as if I'd fails it miserably. Today I was coached about not relying on others for help or to do my work. I was told to be self reliant and independent. I was left speechless as I hadn't had help this shift at all, other than the very few questions I had for her. I check often to see that the CNAs had charted and that patient condition reflected that, but I was coached that some CNAs aren't as good and basically informed that I should just do that work too if I had too to be more self sufficient.
I am very uncomfortable when talking to her. she makes me very anxious. This is in no small part due to the fact that she doesn't give much, if any, positive feed back. I respect her, trust he judgement and experience, but I feel like an absolute screw up when I work with her.
She talks about learning to cluster care after I will have thought I had been doong so. She'll preach time management at the beginning of the shift when I will have finish with plenty of time to spare. I just don't get it at all. I wrack my brain going over my day trying to see where I messed up.
A few thoughts:
Ask her for concrete examples ... what could/should you have done differently?
Are you comfortable talking with your other preceptor about the issues you are having with this one? That might help you figure out if she is just super critical or if there are truly things you need to improve on.
I can say that in the beginning, I might notice something my orientee is doing that isn't really wrong but could be done better/more efficiently. I probably won't mention that in the early days as I don't want to come off as being picky/too unreasonable, but once they have the basics down I'll start talking with them about more "advanced" time management. Time management isn't just about getting things done with time to spare, but getting things done the most efficient way you can so that when Bad Things Happen you can manage.
Having your preceptor point out that you could have done things better isn't the same as her telling you that you did a horrible job. It is quite possible that you did a really good job but still have things you could improve on.
Granted it would be great if she'd give you some positive feedback too (and she really should), but it is her job to tell you what you can improve on and that is really valuable feedback. If she just told you at the end of your shift "you did great" it might make you feel good, but it doesn't give you a whole lot to learn from. Unfortunately, some people aren't great at giving positive feedback. Some think it is implied -- that if they weren't chasing you around all day telling you what to do that OF COURSE you were doing well.
Overall it sounds like you are doing well. Time management is a difficult thing to learn and will take you years to really master. My guess is that if the only things she is giving you critical feedback on are delegating/follow up, time management, and clustering care that you ARE doing well, even in her eyes.
It would annoy the **** out of me if someone slow clapped and congratulated me every time I did something correctly. I prefer more productive conversations. It sounds like the two of you may have different communication styles. Just keep getting along as best you can and wait it out.
bitter_betsy, BSN
456 Posts
Maybe this is just how she is? Maybe she is trying to provide useful advice and it just comes off all wrong? I have worked on a project with a person for 3 months and to this day do not understand their form of communication. Listen to the words that she says and try not to bring any emotion into it. Write them down even (maybe not in her presence) so that you can read them later without emotion involved. Could she be clustering her disbursement of information to you as nuggets for you to hold onto and not reprimands? Don't doubt yourself. Some people just communicate differently.