Confidentiality in Error Reporting

I try to stay out of these things to the largest extent possible, for this very reason (and others). The main way this can usually be accomplished is to contact whoever can deal with it in real time and say the patient would like to speak to someone about a patient care issue.

If that truly isn't feasible then my email would state, "The family of patient xxxx has requested to speak with someone regarding a concern about a medication administration on xx/xx/18 @ approximately _____ (time)." This could be sent to your manager +/- the nurse involved.

After the fact, who knows why your manager informed the nurse of the identity of the reporter; that doesn't seem necessary. I don't think there is a particular obligation that it be kept secret, though it might be common sense. Either way, let that go. You did have an obligation to pass on the patient's concern and you did that. The rest of it is between the nurse and manager. Just me, but I would probably reply to my coworker in person, "I'm sorry I didn't copy you, I didn't think of it at the time." If that doesn't smooth things over, that's his/her problem.

Did my manager have an obligation to keep my name confidential?

I can't see why your NM would name you to your colleague, but I don't think she really has an obligation to keep your name out of it. As JKL said, offer a short I'm sorry--in my mind, this is not an admission of any sort of guilt--and move on.

If you named her specifically to your nm, then yes, I could see why she'd want to be included as a courtesy. I like to know what I've done wrong too, preferably from the source. If it was just reporting the error itself and not naming names, then probably not.