when co-workers throw each other under the bus

PeaceonearthRN · Feb 21, 2009

I have seen many thrown under a bus for many reasons.. Funny, people can say whatever they want to say, they can back each other up and anyone can come out to be seemingly different that what or who they are.

What a sickness it must be to have to go home and look at oneself in the mirror as one self righteously 'reported' another incident or employee..

PeaceonearthRN · Feb 21, 2009

Wow, someone after my own sick humor.. that CAN get one in trouble! I no longer feel lonely in my coping mechanisms.

You know....this all amazes me. I guess that I have been spoiled! See, I have worked in MALE dominated fields for the past 25 years and MEN don't behave like this! Sheesh! (Unless you count effeminized gay men and that is a whole 'nother story! LOL)
I guess I will be exposed to it at some point....and my biggest concern is...I am a blunt person!
My typical responses to such behavior is to tell the person directly:::::: "Hmmm, I graduated HS in '79. Stopped gossiping back then. How about *you* give it a try!" or "If you want to know about nurse so-n-so, go ask her."
or for the OP's post... " Nurses copping an attitude if you ask a question, wondering why you let the family wait at the nurses station when you were paged " I would look at that person as if they were stupid and say in a sing song voice.....OH, you mean I only have that *1* patient today?!?! Here! Here is the rest I thought I had, thank you for taking over!" (Not seriously, but man I bet you would get one heck of a stunned look! LOL)
A couple of those....and they would say...stay away from her! And I would hum and go about doing my J-O-B!!! (Of course....that is probably just before I got hit with the code brown that nurse had to clean up next (duck!)!!!_
Of course, I am realistic and know the above would be asking for trouble....but, that's like those, "what would you say to your " coworker, manager, etc.... threads that are here!
Just a shame that so many nurses forgot to grow up.

shantipaudel · Feb 21, 2009

Nursing job is always stressful. Yes team work and co-operation is always required. However sometime bitter things happen without any control. I wish you all the best sister!

sistasoul · Feb 22, 2009

A nurse who works at the facility I work at on another shift has been known to set other nurses up. One night she purposefully hid the O2 sat so the other nurse she was working with would have to ask her where it was if he wanted to use it (we only habve one). If he did not ask where it was she would know he was not taking the patient's O2 level. She also would photo copy MARS that had "holes" in them. I work in LTC and sometimes a med may be given but not signed for accidentally. She would then give these copies to management. I say if you have so much time to do these things you must not be doing your own job correctly. It is sad when you can not trust anyone you work with.

LilyBlue · Feb 22, 2009

A nurse who works at the facility I work at on another shift has been known to set other nurses up. One night she purposefully hid the O2 sat so the other nurse she was working with would have to ask her where it was if he wanted to use it (we only habve one). If he did not ask where it was she would know he was not taking the patient's O2 level. She also would photo copy MARS that had "holes" in them. I work in LTC and sometimes a med may be given but not signed for accidentally. She would then give these copies to management. I say if you have so much time to do these things you must not be doing your own job correctly. It is sad when you can not trust anyone you work with.

Wouldn't that have been freakin hilarious if her coworker pulled out one of those tiny pocket pulse oximeters that he had bought himself? :yeah: Especially if it was after he had been called on the carpet by the boss after nurse Ratched told on him....

PeaceonearthRN · Feb 22, 2009

wow, something I was wondering about as well.. Where do they get all of this time to find things wrong with the previous nurse or the nurse on their shift?

Someone told me that people come to work with their own personal problems and play them out at work... Is this true? Or, do they go after people who appear to have no problems because they leave them at the door? Interesting item to ponder!

raiderz1973 · Feb 22, 2009

Isn't there an age requirement? Where is this place they're hiring these children? And shouldn't they be reported? That's horrible & I totally understand what you mean!! I think majority of it comes from their insecurities, when they start feeling threatened by someone else's competence. Just hang in there!! Be the bigger better nurse & do what you gotta do. KARMA is a funny, evil thing & what comes around really does go around. Did he/she at least help your other patient before they ran off squealing? Maybe your charge nurse needs to re-assess the work load & give that person a couple more patients, I mean since they obviously have extra time on their hands to look for flaws & tattle. You're only one person & you can only do so much. Some days are going to be like that, the sun can't be shining, in the big, clear, bright, blue sky, while the beautiful birds are singing & soaring under the big. bright, beautiful rainbow everyday. What I'm trying to say is, there will be crazy hectic days, keep your head up & don't let them get you down!!:flwrhrts::dncgcpd::urck:

Guest343211 · Mar 23, 2009

It's surprising how many NMs encourage this kind of behavior--shoot out and out promote it--and they they rationalize it to themselves and others--stating that is part of their job--this is how they divide the chaff from the wheat. Sorry this is not often so. People need three things to grow: grace, truth, and time. But then the manager will be under some budgetary/time constraint, the balance is lost--capricious games go on and on--and still it doesn't affect their Magnet Status. Really it should. This is very POOR leadership, regardless of how you spin it. There's a line between following it on things and putting them in balance and fair processes of evaluation, and then just falling to what select folks with the ear of management run and tell or are coaxed in some way to say. This kind of thing always comes back to haunt leaders, people, units, and instituions. It takes time sometimes, but it comes back to roost. It takes time to go the better way and take the higher road, but the best of leaders will take that path and be most respected for it in the long run--plus, ultimately they will have better results---their group of managed individuals will be more respectful of others, differences, and they will be more effective in the long run. Live and learn managers. Just when you think you have learned it all, you have to face the hard reality that you have NOT and that YOU NEVER WILL. I consider myself in continuous learning mode, regardless of how long I've been a nurse or what I've learned or done.

Guest343211 · Mar 23, 2009

Peace, you make a great point. In some cases, I think this is definitely true. People bring stuff in--it's tucked down deep--they may not even be aware how it is affecting their perceptions and interactions at work. Some people seem to live at work--stay late every single day practically and come in early--for one, b/c things are n't as great at home as they would like to make out--and two, they want to make all kinds of points with management, and 3, they get to clock in/out OT. Yes many people have cut this back, but people on certain committees use that as a way to get over. Whatever, I say if you really don't need to be there, you are stealing from your employer. If there are codes and such things, that's one thing. But people milk all kinds of stuff and then seek to justify it. And it is darn amazing how some folks can work 12 night shift after 12 hour night shift, stay over, come in early , get two hours sleep, come in and can do all over again. In general, I know myself, and it is not safe for me or my patients. Management doesn't seem to care though. . .shruggggs.

PeaceonearthRN · Mar 23, 2009

Well, Sam.. All I can say is the tire marks take a while to go away; however, I also know the one can always be paying attention to the 'bus' and who the 'drivers' are ahead of time. I would advise anyone looking to work anywhere to go back later as a visitor.. that is when you can 'see' what the real actions are and some of the 'drivers' that like to run people over. Although many like to run people over seem to be the shifts that have a lot of time on their hands, I'm sure many days any shift without being the 'interviewee' would do! Our managment thrived on the he said she saids in the world. How sick that anyone would derive pleasure from their presumptuous ability to interpret , twist and repeat the human language. Amazing how being there to support the team when they 'need you' can easily be forgotten when they want to score points on who gets ran over that week! :)

Guest343211 · Mar 23, 2009

Peace, I hear ya. In my situation, it was more of a function of low census, some possible dominance/jealousy issues, and people just choosing to take umbrage at any little thing, little stressor response (being sick no less), and then just twisting something I said to the manager to mean something completely different from what was meant.

Example: Stuff like "Fine then. We will do it your way." Now mind you, in retrospect, I can see how someone might see that as a little bit of an attitude, and I will shoot myself before I use the F word (The word FINE) again, especially on orientation, lol. But there was more to it than that. You just do NOT let nurses go for such things, unless there is some other underlying agenda going on. It makes some people feel uncomfortable that I am forthright. I realize more than ever, if you are too straightforward or forthright, even though generally respectful, you can still end up shooting yourself in the foot.

I'm wondering if on another level of consciousness I intentionally tested the waters. I was frustrated that they wouldn't schedule regular times to give feed back, evaluate learning experiences, progress, pluses and minuses, strengths and weakness, and then have them noted as objectively as possible. I know from the experience and experiences of others, you really need to be aware of where you stand in order to make progress. This was brushed under the rugs many times, and my commitment to them was not met with due diligence in commitment--at least that's how it was seeming--and now indeed seems. Frankly, for some reason, the mger spent more time seeing to the orientation experience and success of a new pool nurse over someone that had committed to full-time nights. You'd think she'd be glad for the full-time night commitment; since in general not many want to work it. Something strange going on there--regardless, i don't think they were awful people, and I am truly thankful for the experience. I just don't agree with how things were handled--and I probably still wouldn't agree with how things were handled, even if the same thing happened to someone other than me. In principle and, well practicality too, it just wasn't handled correctly. If you have a problem with someone or how they may say something, you make it clear and make steps known. Example, "People question your attitude and whatever when you say thus and such this or that way. So this is warning one. We'll check back in two weeks and see how things are progressing in this regard--and while we're at it, we'll see where you are on your competencies, experiences, etc with persons orienting you (I hold back from using the work "preceptor" for it seems many don't really seem to know what it really means IMHO.) Well, I already saw other folks not make it through orientation at this place. It was almost like some matter-of-fact kind of thing. Having just obtained Magnet status, I wonder how much this was a part of it too--but ultimately it is neither here nor there. It's sort of wasteful how they operate IMHO. Unless there's a seriously darned good reason, take a reasonable person that is clinically capable and truly cares and find a way to make it work. For guess what, not one person you hire is perfect, and many of those running to you or that you are prodding for "relevant???" pieces of information are imperfect as well. Thing is, I would have bent over backwards for this manager, and I would have worked hard on committee work and the unit's and hospital's success as well. And I know I would have. My previous employer knows how good and committed I can be. But you have to be careful with every little thing you say or possibly reflect non-verbally in these units. And remember there is always a bird flying around waiting to tell something--and chances are--the bird will tell it with bias--misrepresent things, etc. So polites "Yes thank you," "No thank you," take responsibility where it is truly right to do so (regardless, if it came out of my mouth, misrepresented or not, if I never said anything, nothing would have been misrepresented. You never have to apologize for something you don't say.), and when honest as well, say "I don't understand."

And yes I really am thankful for the learning experience--in terms of dealing with folks---in terms of how I need to be super careful and examine my people skills. I also realize that some degree of this may be my personality--and personality issues are an issue in many of these units and with nursing. There is more tolerance for personalities and differences, in general, in medicine I think. Nursing, well, geez, even the nurses that are men often end up acting like a number of the insecure females--because it may be that they want to fit in--it's a job they want, and they want to fit in--so when in Rome. . . It's sad. I enjoy the people that have the you-know-whats to rise above all that stuff. But at the end of the day, people are looking at what protects or advances them. Sadly, quite often, people become like the road sign says. . ."One way."

Again, I am genuinely a nice and caring person, and I'm generally respectful. It's just that I am forthright and at times outspoken. So I have to learn how things can be taken. I also let my guard down w/ this one person in particular. He sort of said a lot of stuff off-the-cuff--but then again, he'd been there for a while and could get away with it. I got too comfortable-and was adjusting to the shift, whilst also coming down with a killer cold/flu bug. Yes, nurses are people too, and people professional as well, are human. It's not like I told someone to "bleap off" or that I was ever in any way insubordinate. Sigh. When I told him my feelings about something regarding the response of a practitioner, he took it the wrong way and like the bird, flew to share it with the manager--or perhaps the manager flew to him. Either way, I don't roll that way as a professional and as human being. If I work something out with someone, I don't let there be unnecessary issues and the making of mountains out of molehills occur over it. That's just wrong--in my opinion--yes, somewhat unethical. See he and I did talk. All was basically cool, and our shifts from there out were cool. I am thinking also that the manager hired someone else--I was wondering a few weeks before why she was interviewing again, with the census being so low and no surgical program that is in effect, really in place. Seemed rather strange, and I told myself I was reading into it--but I should have went with my gut feeling then. Nonetheless, I say evaluate nurses in a objective, balanced way, period. Forget the other nonsense. It was bizarre to me. Truly professional people seek balanced clarification to prevent distortion--unless they want to deliberately distort--in which case, if that is so, I don't want to work with them anyway, b/c I would feel that I could never trust them.

And that really is the crux of things in nursing that is so sad. . .there are so many folks--why, honestly, you never really know--save some folks here and there---who you can trust. The less you say or express non-verbally, the better. It's a shame there is little place for real openness; but that's really the way it is.

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Mar 23, 2009

Geez, I hate "divide and conquer" management. If they get us all fighting and "tattling" on each other, they we're not watching what THEY're doing....

The only good thing about the "tattlers" is usually when the old management leaves, they take their spies with them. Wanna solve the problem? Get your boss a new job. I mean, campaign for them to get promoted to another unit....