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Close to quitting...need advice!

Posted

I'm in the ASN program and just started Sept 1st. I was in my 3rd clinical at the hospital today and started crying. Everyone else is doing good, but I feel inferior. Academically, I'm not worse than anyone else. Everyone is struggling and most of the class has a low C average, with mine being an 82 in all classes. When I'm at the hospital, I just freeze. It's like everything I know in the classroom goes out the window. I can think of things on paper, but doing them is becoming obviously harder. I could make straight A's (as I have in the past by the way) but if I can't do it in person, I fail. My instructor picked me apart today and I got really emotional...as hard as I tryed, the tears fell. This is obviously not coming easy for me and I really want to quit. I feel like I should be doing well by now! Or at least not feel so emotional about it. This is basically my last shot at school...I have already tried different things (I have a history of giving up or changing my mind, unsurprisingly) and am out of money after this. I just dont know if it's worth it to spend a dime more if I wont get the graduate! I'm really confused and would appreciate if anyone could share some thoughts about what I should/could do to improve on clinicals. Also, if anyone else has been or is going through this, please share.

Nurse SMS, MSN, RN

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development. Has 9 years experience.

Well, you have two options. Quit, and continue to be a quitter and a failure in your own mind for the rest of your life.

Or accept, tears and all, that it is going to challenge you, shake you up, shut you down and rebuild you from the ground up into what you want to be. A damn good nurse. So you cried. I suspect this is more about humiliation and a lack of self esteem than any real deficiency. And that is a battle only you can wage. You can give up now and lose it potentially forever. Or you can keep going, get past it, and learn something about yourself you are unable right now to see. That you do have what it takes.

Choose. Choose decisively which voices in your head are going to win. Either way, its going to suck. I would encourage you to pick the type of suck that would be worth it in the end over the one that goes nowhere.

Keep your chin up and good luck.

Oh my god, you could be me. Clinical intimidates me too, but it's also because I'm a big-time introvert along with the lack of confidence and small talk sucks out my energy and shreds my nerves. Also it's 8:00 in the morning and I'm not even awake until 1:00 pm. Anyway, to deal with it, I'm seeing a psychologist and we're working on it. A lot of people, maybe including your instructors will tell you to just "believe in yourself" or "cowboy up", but that's usually from people don't understand what it's like to have that chronic void of basic self-confidence-they may just be assuming it's in this one area and not know. If lack of confidence has been a theme of your life, you might need outside help to develop it. Maybe your school has a counselor you can see weekly? Or if you have private insurance, you could call some private psychologists and see if they take it and how much your copay might be. My last choice would be the state mental health center. No insult meant to the employees' capabilities, but the management tends to want you in and out ASAP. When we both get our RNs, we'll be dealing with a lot of emotionally and mentally trying crap everyday. But we've got to have the inner fortitude to get there, much less deal with it.

Don't quit. I have been there also. I mean, I was really close to quitting LPN school. We are talking coming home from clinicals and getting into the fetal position crying "I can't do this". I actually saw my doctor and a therapist. I saw my therapist once a week and my doctor prescribed alittle something to help me get through. I also called every friend I could find to help me. What really got me through is the thought "ok...I can either quit and never know what I could have done" or " I will keep at it and what is the worse that could happen? Even if they threw me out I would be no worse than if I had quit." Does that make sense? I actually passed second in my class. Plus, I went on to take RN classes. I am now in my second year and got a full scholarship. Turns out I am not as bad as I thought I was. Even now I get that anxiety feeling and I have learned how to turn it around. When it gets tough I say to myself "now is your time to shine...show them what you got." One clinical teacher I have now is particularlly tough. I love to show her what I can do. And if I make mistakes, oh well. I have developed a much tougher skin and so will you. I don't know how spiritual you are but I got a book called "Streams in the Desert". It has daily readings that really helped me get through. Honestly, I know you are not worse than I was. No one is that bad. I cried so much. I spilled bath water all over a patient, I must have contaminated 5 pairs of sterile gloves once doing a foley. I am not kidding...If you quit, you will never know what could have been. Things happen for a reason. I am a much stronger person for all that I went through. And you know what..I am a damn good nurse. I care. Colleen

Chapis

Specializes in interested in NICU!!.

just think, this too shall pass.be strong and prove yourself that you can finish something. try practicing with a friend the things you can while in clinicals you can just know you can do it one more time. good luck!

How do you know that you won't graduate unless you stick it out and try. I am about to start the program in January and believe me, I am so scared and intimidated and wonder if I'm cut out for it. But I know that if I don't risk it and go after my dream, I will never know if I'm cut out for it. I will always wonder. I say don't quit. Stick it out, do whatever you can to get more confortable...can you volunteer at the hospital? Have you talked to your instructors? Maybe they have some advice or other ways you may be able to start applying your knowledge. Do whatever you can to get through this, if you do all of that and you still flunk out, then try again...I've seen or heard of a lot of people flunk out of a semester then take it over again and pass and go on to be wonderful nurses. Just don't give up! If you quit every single thing that gets tough for you just because you don't "think" you can do it, you'll never get anywhere. You can do this!

Thank you everyone for posting in this thread. I was feeling a lot like the OP, that no matter how hard I tried in clinicals it just didn't seem to come together and I ended up feeling left behind compared to the other students. I do awesome in class, but in the hospital I am a completely different person almost. I second guess myself, I become less assertive, my bedside manners become awkward, and I am constantly uncomfortable and extremely critical of myself. It really is like I am a completely different person. Everyone (even the patients) can see my weakness in this state.

I was doubting myself to the point of considering quitting, but after reading this thread, I think I have the strength to continue. Everyone's words of encouragement were inspiring and supportive. Metfan, your story is awesome and I applaud you for being persistent and not giving up. StudentNurzNK, they are right. If people like you and me don't stick it out, we will spend the rest of our lives reflecting on our failures. If you follow your past trend of 'changing your mind' and decide to quit nursing school, you will find yourself taking that point of view with every other challenging profession and your self-esteem will be in the dumps. You owe it to yourself to hang on to this with every ounce of strength you have left. We can do this. Lets find a way to pick ourselves up and stick it out.

goodstudentnowRN

Specializes in Telemetry. Has 10 years experience.

Quit? Are you serious? Be strong, be confident and go for what you want. You can do it, do not second guess yourself. I have seen worst than you in my class and they are graduating now. Just tell yourself that you are mentally strong to challenge anything.

Thank you all so much for your support! I'm sticking it out another day. I keep forgetting the "one day at a time" rule when things get though. I don't know how it will end up, but I am gonna talk to my instructor and try again. I really appreciate everyone that took the time to give me some encouragement, and good luck to all the students. :loveya:

Oh my god, you could be me. Clinical intimidates me too, but it's also because I'm a big-time introvert along with the lack of confidence and small talk sucks out my energy and shreds my nerves. Also it's 8:00 in the morning and I'm not even awake until 1:00 pm. Anyway, to deal with it, I'm seeing a psychologist and we're working on it. A lot of people, maybe including your instructors will tell you to just "believe in yourself" or "cowboy up", but that's usually from people don't understand what it's like to have that chronic void of basic self-confidence-they may just be assuming it's in this one area and not know. If lack of confidence has been a theme of your life, you might need outside help to develop it. Maybe your school has a counselor you can see weekly? Or if you have private insurance, you could call some private psychologists and see if they take it and how much your copay might be. My last choice would be the state mental health center. No insult meant to the employees' capabilities, but the management tends to want you in and out ASAP. When we both get our RNs, we'll be dealing with a lot of emotionally and mentally trying crap everyday. But we've got to have the inner fortitude to get there, much less deal with it.

This thread is wonderful. Thanks to the OP for starting it. The post above could be me, too. Clinical is kicking my behind and after this past Tuesday (we do Monday about 4 hours and Tuesday about 8 hours) I was ready to quit. We worked in partners the first few days but this past Tuesday we were sent off on our own and I wanted to quit right then. But I thought I have to at least help my patient today, somehow get through the next 8 hours, and THEN I can quit. I was so sure I would just quit. By the end of that miserable day I was not feeling as sure about the quitting but not sure I can get through the next few weeks, either.

My patient is actually quite nice and I like helping her in any way I can (I will get a new patient after next week, maybe it will be someone more cantankerous and then I'll really be stuck), but I am shy about doing vital signs and assessment so I haven't been doing as much as I should. Also, we have to check off on vital signs and physical assessment with the instructor 3 times each and med admin 2 times. I will have 5 more clinical days to do this in! How am I going to get it all done? I never see the other students or the instructor. I need to FIND her just to be able to do the checkoffs. She is nice but hard to find; I suspect she is a bit of a chatty kathy and gets to talking to somebody somewhere around the hospital. On Tuesday, I didn't have much to do the first few hours and I couldn't figure out what to do with myself. My patient didn't need much and I didn't see any classmates to offer help to and I hesitated to barge into other patients' rooms unannounced. In the afternoon I had a lot more to help my patient with so even though I was tuckered out I was glad to have an opportunity to be somewhat useful.

I am willing and ready to work but I guess I just need a little more direction, and then I feel kind of stupid and inferior for feeling that I need to be led by the hand for every little thing.

Hello All,

I left nursing school this term at the start of pharmacology. I will be going back in March. I want to be a nurse more than anything else. I need support to believe I can make it through pharmacology and the rest of the nursing program. Next week I am going to see a doctor.Please support me.Thank you all in advance for any help. I can use all the friends and support on allnurses.