Clarification. :) My Manager is Gossiping about me. What do I do?

[SoCalRN1970]

I am sorry by previous post was not very clear.

I am going to be speaking in first person to keep it simple.

Last night I was with one of my colleagues who was instructed by a "nursing supervisor" to train me on some new documentation. I will refer to myself , the trainer and my supervisor in that order.

we were finishing the documentation training, yes was cumbersome and very boring. The trainer said to me "You aren't at all like how the supervisor said you were". I looked the trainer in the eye and asked her directly exactly WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? The trainer admits she let it slip and didn't mean anything by it, I told the trainer I have been told things about me point blank by the supervisor that was "bizarre and unprofessional" regarding my personality, never anything bad about my work performance, just that I am over the top bubbly, and need to tone it down. ( never ever been told that ever by anyone in all my years. )

THe trainer broke down and said, "She said to watch out for you, that you are a dominant person and not to let you take over the situation".

I informed the trainer this isn NOT the first time this has been mentioned to me. My skill set is not in question, but the fact I am confident in my work appears to be an issue for our supervisor.

I am furious. I have multiple incidents that have been brought to my supervisor, and her administrator. I was told "work it out on your own by the administrator". My supervisor is demeaning, and often says "I don't have time to talk to you." when I have called her for information on how this company likes to have things done.......

Out of frustration, I feel like I am being harassed. What do I do. Document, and look at stress leave? Suing for harassment? Leave the freaking place?

Thank you for your advice in advanceI am being a bit sarcastic, but I am feeling singled out and harassed only because the supervisor doesn't like me. Pitty is, she didn't interview me, had she, I wouldn't be there.

[kids]

Never mind.. got the advice I need. Had a telephone call from the bosses boss The majority of this thread proves and continues to prove.. that nurse eat nurses. Its a freaking hostile field. I perform top, no short comings on my work, patients like me. Guess what all? The administrator "also has concerns regarding my immediate superior"

My upper management supports me for one reason. We worked together at another agency, we have a past working relationship, and yes, she can see the trouble maker. Lets see where this goes eh? Sorry to be sarcastic, but some of you are just so ready to toss me also under the bus. Its aweful. good day.

Do you realize that Admin just did exactly what you are accusing your supervisor of doing.

I'll be blunt. I think it is you and based on your your posts over the last 10 months I am of the opinion that you may be the bully.

My opinion has nothing to do with 'eating the young' and everything to do with your posting history.

It's rife with complaints about the physical environment at the places you interview, complaints about the people who interview you, criticism about coworkers, supervisors and even the patients.

You appear to have had several jobs in a short period of time and there always seems to be a problem with the employer, be it policies you don't agree with, managers you label as inept and team members you accuse of stepping on your toes.

You also seem to have an issues with your supervisor or manager actually supervising or managing you.

Gossiping with and about other staff members, office staff and managers also doesn't seem to bother you when you're the one doing it, you lose credibility when you have a recent history of engaging in the very behavior you criticise others of.

My intent in posting this really isn't as some sort of an attack.

I'm hoping that rather than discounting what I'm pointing out that you'll go back and read some of your previous posts, see that there is a pattern of behavior and hopefully consider that your actions and attitude may be a great deal of the problems you repeatedly seem to experience.

[rn/writer, RN]

I'm not defending the supervisor's behavior. It (again, if true) is indeed unprofessional.

But I'm not understanding to what protected class the OP belongs, or how her job has been threatened by her supervisor, both of which are criteria of a workplace harassment claim.

But that's just it. Harassment deals with complaints about behaviors against members of protected classes. Workplace bullying is a different animal that can be directed toward anyone because its intent is to minimize and marginalize someone who the bully finds threatening.

Seventeen states are now looking into legislation to address this sneaky and crazy-making kind of attack. It's still going to be hard to address, though, because so much of it is a head game. Even so, wise employers are learning what to look for.

Again, I don't know the OP's situation first hand. I do know that criticizing someone's personality and speaking ill of them to someone who is not involved can be things that bullies do to create problems for subordinates.

[sofla98]

Honey, YOU are digging your own grave. If I had a break down like this every time someone said something nasty about me, I'd be locked up in the mental ward by now.

I am a very good nurse. I work my tail off, take impeccable care of my patients, and I AVOID gossip and like chit chat like the plague. I never toot my own horn, and I always help out others when I am not busy. This puts a HUGE target on my (and nurses like me) back.

I don't know the reason why nurses have to be so freaking nasty and hateful to each other, but it is par for the course and has been the same just about everywhere I have worked.

Be social, but leave your personal business at home. Let others get a word in when talking, don't force information from others, and by all means either let this go or find another job. The supervisor is picking on you because you are reacting to it...some people get off on doing things like this. Probably has nothing to do with you, but maybe you just grate her nerves to no end. It is a personality clash, nothing more. You have no grounds to sue her for harassment...You have to have cold hard proof, not heresy, that this person is directly harming you and preventing you from doing your job or threatening you with disciplinary action or termination for no good reason.

The truth is hurtful sometimes, and I am sorry that this is so harsh. But, you have to be the one to take control of the situation. I dealt with a situation involving my manager and a CNA by calling them both out on their behavior. Guess what? It stopped and I have not had any problems since.

Have a sit down with this supervisor and inform her of how she is treating you. Don't go about it in a weak way, that is what she wants. Be professional about it but be firm with her. Do not, by any means, discuss this situation with other co-workers, especially the "lawyer" part. You'll be out the door quicker than you can say "what?". If you do leave, leave gracefully and professionally. While they say you can only "legally" report if someone is eligible for re-hire or not, truth is, this is not the case. Good luck!