Well ... some of you may find this amusing. I am a new nurse beginning a second career in the ED. I just got off 90-day orientation as a GN and now am on 90-day orientation as a new RN. I was told at my review that I need to "socialize" more at work especially with the nightshift so that I can build bonds and be able to function with them as a team. I can honestly say in all of my work career, I have never been told to socialize at work more. Some of those night people in the ED can be pretty intimidating so I've just been trying to keep my mouth shut, MYOB, and take care of my patients. Now I'm being told it doesn't work that way in the ED. Of course, I have less of a problem with the day shift and mid-shift personnel because I oriented as a GN on days with a preceptor, but the night shift has worked together for a long time and I'm feeling it's not easy to fit in. Apparently they think my not talking or socializing very much is a road block to building trust. The Charge Nurse at night thinks I am focusing a little too much on my patients and not enough on team dynamics. I responded that I am very focused on learning to do my job at this time ... on how to do the tasks correctly; I'm just trying to get comfortable as a new nurse. I guess the nightshift personnel think I'm stand-offish. What I really feel is that I am still scared of a lot of things right now, I don't feel like I totally fit in, some people seem like they are a little grumpy, and I try to stay out of everyone's way.
So ... help me out a little with some advice. What do I need to do? It's a problem to drink on the job and besides I don't drink at all so I can't very well loosen up with a few shots of Tequila before I go to work (ha!ha!). Should I start baking some goodies to bring in? No one has the same hobbies or sports interest as I do so I don't want to drive them crazy talking about it. I guess I could take some pictures to show of my family or something but how boring is that for other people? I had Dale Carnagie's book once on "How to Win Friends and Influence People" but must have sold it in a garage sale ... obviously it didn't work for me anyhow. From what I remember it was just a lot about remembering people's names and acting like you liked someone even if you didn't. Don't get me wrong ... I still have work to do on fine tuning assessment skills, time management, prioritizing, and critical thinking as a new nurse but those are things I have a clue about how to handle.
I can picture all of you chuckling at this point but before you get carried away with the belly-laughs throw me a bone or two if you have some insight. Somebody shoot me.
I was told at my review that I need to "socialize" more at work especially with the nightshift so that I can build bonds and be able to function with them as a team. I can honestly say in all of my work career, I have never been told to socialize at work more. Some of those night people in the ED can be pretty intimidating so I've just been trying to keep my mouth shut, MYOB, and take care of my patients. Now I'm being told it doesn't work that way in the ED. Of course, I have less of a problem with the day shift and mid-shift personnel because I oriented as a GN on days with a preceptor, but the night shift has worked together for a long time and I'm feeling it's not easy to fit in. Apparently they think my not talking or socializing very much is a road block to building trust. The Charge Nurse at night thinks I am focusing a little too much on my patients and not enough on team dynamics. I responded that I am very focused on learning to do my job at this time ... on how to do the tasks correctly; I'm just trying to get comfortable as a new nurse. I guess the nightshift personnel think I'm stand-offish. What I really feel is that I am still scared of a lot of things right now, I don't feel like I totally fit in, some people seem like they are a little grumpy, and I try to stay out of everyone's way.
I think that the whole comment from your NM is a bit ridiculous, and part of me is firmly planted right beside you, as a nurse new to the ER.
First .. we are adults, and like it or not, the majority of us are not Pollyannas. There are folks in this world that I like, and folks that I don't. I will be kind and civil to everyone that I work with, but I'm not going to kiss people's butts to fit in. You can't MAKE people like you.
Not talking or socializing .... did anyone stop to think that you're trying to DO your job?? Focusing on your patients ...since when is that a problem?? If you're hanging out with your patients, while the rest of the nurses there are drowning, that's one thing .... from the tone of your post, that's unlikely the case.
I agree with you that ER nurses can be intimidating ... and not just to a new grad. I've been a nurse for 14 years, all critical care, and I feel like I've had to "work at fitting in". On the nights that I'm working with some particularly clique-y folks, I act a lot like you do .... I focus on my patients, and offer to help out as much as possible.
Fitting in, and becoming part of the team is something that takes time, and is unique to each person. Some of it depends on personality, experience, etc.
Relax, put yourself out there a bit, but don't stress too much over it.
Unless you are antisocial and not pulling your weight when it comes to the workload, I think your charge nurse is off base by criticizing your social skills. Work is not a party (except for the occasional shebang) and people don't need to go around schmoozing each other to get along and get the work done.
One of the best things you can do to make a favorable impression on your coworkers is offer to help them, and then follow through. At this point, you are probably still new enough that you have enough on your plate to do your own work but that doesn't mean that you can't take a few minutes here and there to help someone else. I know that I have always noticed when someone was good about doing their own work and helping others. I also noticed that my coworkers respected my abilities when I pitched in. That's how we became a team. Don't take the criticism too seriously. Keep on learning and doing your job and you will find that after awhile you will feel that you fit in with your "gang".
Specializes in Peds ED, Peds Stem Cell Transplant, Peds.
Well ... some of you may find this amusing. I am a new nurse beginning a second career in the ED. I just got off 90-day orientation as a GN and now am on 90-day orientation as a new RN. I was told at my review that I need to "socialize" more at work especially with the nightshift so that I can build bonds and be able to function with them as a team. I can honestly say in all of my work career, I have never been told to socialize at work more. Some of those night people in the ED can be pretty intimidating so I've just been trying to keep my mouth shut, MYOB, and take care of my patients. Now I'm being told it doesn't work that way in the ED. Of course, I have less of a problem with the day shift and mid-shift personnel because I oriented as a GN on days with a preceptor, but the night shift has worked together for a long time and I'm feeling it's not easy to fit in. Apparently they think my not talking or socializing very much is a road block to building trust. The Charge Nurse at night thinks I am focusing a little too much on my patients and not enough on team dynamics. I responded that I am very focused on learning to do my job at this time ... on how to do the tasks correctly; I'm just trying to get comfortable as a new nurse. I guess the nightshift personnel think I'm stand-offish. What I really feel is that I am still scared of a lot of things right now, I don't feel like I totally fit in, some people seem like they are a little grumpy, and I try to stay out of everyone's way.
So ... help me out a little with some advice. What do I need to do? It's a problem to drink on the job and besides I don't drink at all so I can't very well loosen up with a few shots of Tequila before I go to work (ha!ha!). Should I start baking some goodies to bring in? No one has the same hobbies or sports interest as I do so I don't want to drive them crazy talking about it. I guess I could take some pictures to show of my family or something but how boring is that for other people? I had Dale Carnagie's book once on "How to Win Friends and Influence People" but must have sold it in a garage sale ... obviously it didn't work for me anyhow. From what I remember it was just a lot about remembering people's names and acting like you liked someone even if you didn't. Don't get me wrong ... I still have work to do on fine tuning assessment skills, time management, prioritizing, and critical thinking as a new nurse but those are things I have a clue about how to handle.
I can picture all of you chuckling at this point but before you get carried away with the belly-laughs throw me a bone or two if you have some insight. Somebody shoot me.
I am pretty much an outcast because I am married, 2 kids, drive over an hour to work. I don't drink, or party and I won't come into the city to socialize with them on my own time. sorry family is first, not friends, let alone drunken ones. Thus I have to deal with constant lies and rumors spread about me and defend myself to management when my peer evaluations show I don't play with them:idea:
I think the way you handle this situation is great. I believe we all have to earn our friendships at work sometimes it just takes time, hang in there. I am one of those people who really doesnt socialize alot at work I spend more time taking care of my patients and getting to know them. It took me to awhile to form friendships but I did.
I think the way you handle this situation is great. I believe we all have to earn our friendships at work sometimes it just takes time, hang in there. I am one of those people who really doesnt socialize alot at work I spend more time taking care of my patients and getting to know them. It took me to awhile to form friendships but I did.
First, we are adults, and like it or not, the majority of us are not Pollyannas. There are folks in this world that I like, and folks that I don't. I will be kind and civil to everyone that I work with, but I'm not going to kiss people's butts to fit in. You can't MAKE people like you.
I'm with ya on that! I work with some major league BMs and there is no getting along with them. Just show up, do your job the very best that you can, and drive on. No one can fault you for that. Friends will come.
I am pretty much an outcast because I am married, 2 kids, drive over an hour to work. I don't drink, or party and I won't come into the city to socialize with them on my own time. sorry family is first, not friends, let alone drunken ones. Thus I have to deal with constant lies and rumors spread about me and defend myself to management when my peer evaluations show I don't play with them:idea:
And I thought I was the only one.
[banana]Outcast Club President[/banana]
It still does not affect me much. I still show up and do my job. When it comes to a technical question, they still come to me, and I always help them.
I think the suggestions are great and will work for me ... after all I do want to be part of the team not an outsider looking in. I happen to have brownies in the oven as we speak because I'm scheduled to work tomorrow; they're the really good ones with marshmallow creme and drizzled fudge for topping.
Listen, if you decide you don't like that ER you are more than welcome to come to mine.
You can't MAKE people like you. 
FireStarterRN, BSN, RN
3,824 Posts
Boy do I agree with that. I get tired of cheap donuts and cookies. How about some blue corn chips and dip, or as you say fruit and veggie trays.