Carotid's ER Stats (Unofficial of Course)

mshooha · Jan 8, 2006

LOL!!! Sad to say they are all true in my book.

MajorDomo · Jan 9, 2006

If I may add a few.

85% of customer complaints are gnerated by pts that do not require emergency attention. Conversely, 0% of intubated patients complain about their care.

Parental eduction on tylenol and motrin would decrease pediatric ER visits by at least 65%

76% of patients confuse "Convenience" with "Emergency"

Average course of the common cold 2-3 weeks, average ER patient's expectation 2-12 hrs.

Sorry, to irrestable to pass up

Major Domo

erShocker · Jan 9, 2006

If I may add a few.
85% of customer complaints are gnerated by pts that do not require emergency attention. Conversely, 0% of intubated patients complain about their care.
Parental eduction on tylenol and motrin would decrease pediatric ER visits by at least 65%
76% of patients confuse "Convenience" with "Emergency"
Average course of the common cold 2-3 weeks, average ER patient's expectation 2-12 hrs.
Sorry, to irrestable to pass up
Major Domo

You are correct!

Now, all we need is a slurrpy machine and a slim jim rack!

Altra, BSN, RN · Jan 10, 2006

You are correct!
Now, all we need is a slurrpy machine and a slim jim rack!

Great thread ... keep 'em coming! :smokin:

We have vending machines in our waiting room. I live for triage notes that read, "pt. presents with c/o n/v/d x 4 hours ... Pt. observed eating Doritos & drinking Coke while in waiting room." :smackingf

Don't get me started on "10/10 pain" and "when can I get a sandwich?" -- used in the same sentence.

TZRNER · Jan 10, 2006

"I am having Chest pain can I get a room with a TV" If those said 75% that are non emergency visit did not think they were coming to a hotel the truely sick could get treated emergently!!

LeahJet, ASN, RN · Jan 11, 2006

With 90% of anxiety attacks, the acuity is directly related to the number of family members at bedside.:)

mshooha · Jan 11, 2006

With 90% of anxiety attacks, the acuity is directly related to the number of family members at bedside.:)

LOL!!!!!!!

Vanfnp · Jan 12, 2006

0% of parents who smoke, smoke in the house.

MMARN, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2006

With 90% of anxiety attacks, the acuity is directly related to the number of family members at bedside.:)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: LOL!!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

MMARN, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2006

100% of america's ers would be 50% as busy if 75% of patients would try the home pregnancy test.
75% of patients presenting to ers don't need emergent treatment; 20% of patients do need emergent treatment; 5% of patients should have listened to the nurse giving d/c instructions yesterday to prevent becoming a part of tomorrow's 75%.
3 nurses out of 1 are needed in america's ers.
100% of drunks presenting to ers consumed only 2 beers.
9 out of 10 nursing home patients requiring er treatment have poor nursing home care.
more to follow.....
carotid
supplying oxygen-rich blood to billions of brains globally

:rotfl: :rotfl: these are funny!!!!! and true!!!:rotfl:

MajorDomo · Jan 12, 2006

78% of pts w/ postive u tox deny etoh and drugs at triage

27% of all ambulance runs would be better served, and cheaper, by taxi

82% of pts with a diagnoses of STD, should not reproduce.

For every 10kgs a pt is overweight, increases IV start attempts by 1.