Can I make it thru?

lady_jezebel · Jul 9, 2005

I withdrew from a semester in nursing school for personal reasons (death in the family). My faculty was very understanding, and I didn't even realize they had this option until I talked to someone. Could you ask your school if it is possible for you to take a leave of absence, either for medical or personal reasons? You don't have to give them details. Do you have an advisor in the program?

I think you need time to find a counselor or doctor, explore your feelings with that person, start antidepressants if you haven't already & if necessary (they really do work, by the way), do some nurturing things for yourself (bubble baths, journaling, walks, reading, art, etc...), and then return to school refreshed & re-energized. You need time for yourself or you're going to crack under all the pressure you're facing.

**** by the way, it takes at least 6-8 weeks for antidepressants to really start working effectively.

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Jul 9, 2005

thank you, lady jezebel.

You don't think I could get thru if I quit my job for Block 1? Or do you think it would be better to stay with job, take semester off, and go back in next semester? The only thing is, next semester, I don't think I would get the part time program..

And to think I have ruined someone else's chances for nursing school, someone that really could do it. Makes me feel guilty to not finish now.

lady_jezebel · Jul 9, 2005

thank you, lady jezebel.
You don't think I could get thru if I quit my job for Block 1? Or do you think it would be better to stay with job, take semester off, and go back in next semester? The only thing is, next semester, I don't think I would get the part time program..
And to think I have ruined someone else's chances for nursing school, someone that really could do it. Makes me feel guilty to not finish now.

Ok, now stop with the guilt thing right now. You've got enough on your plate, and you need to put yourself first at the moment.

I'm not saying you couldn't "get through" nursing school -- I think you could, though maybe not at your peak performance since you're so stressed & battling with feelings of depression. However, is this something you WANT to do right now? And is quitting your job really an option? If so, do you think you would be able to focus on school if you quit the job? If quitting your job is an option, I would do that before putting off nursing school. But in order to know all of your options, perhaps you could talk to your advisor -- I returned to school full-time after withdrawing from the previous semester.

But right now, your options seem to be:

1) Drop out of work, attend school full-time

2) Drop out of school, attend work full-time

3) Drop out of both, just chill for a while & do intensive counseling

4) Continue as you are

Which of these 4 options would be the BEST option for YOU right now? THAT is the decision you should make (ps. #4 doesn't sound like a good option, since you're spiraling downward). Please continue with counseling/meds with any choice you make, b/c you sound depressed at this point in your life.

And remember, this too shall pass. Things will get better eventually.

utahliz · Jul 9, 2005

Is nursing school a positive influence in your life right now or mainly a stressor? Of course, everyone gets stressed by nursing school, but what I mean is, is it giving you a boost? Are you enjoying the learning or the interaction with patients? If so, I'd suggest you quit the job and focus on school, using the time to give yourself those little treats like bubble baths, full night sleep, etc. Otherwise, ask for a leave of absence and regroup by not having the stress of nursing school.

I wish you the best. Depression is a struggle I've witnessed first-hand in family members and now my husband. There's lots of support available for you, here and in the larger community, whatever your decision is.

jhowirn · Jul 10, 2005

Please, please, please, please get some help. I recently went through a very rough time in my life (family issues, rocky start to my marriage, adjustment to life with 3 stepkids) and I dealt with these problems in a very unhealthy manner (drinking far too much, which made all of these problems worse). I had to drop out of my MSN program (going back in January) because I could not concentrate on my studies. It also affected my performance at work. I had much difficulty in concentrating on patientcare, and organizaing my notes for my shift. One night I was taking care of a patient who had tried to commit suicide and was intubated and on mechanical ventilation. She was terrified. I could see it in her eyes. Was I there for her? No. I ended up in the bathroom crying my eyes out because I knew I was not being a very good nurse. I finally ended up talking to my pastor, got some family issues worked out. I was seriously considering seeking treatment for my alcohol abuse, but I am not drinking nearly as much these days since the stress of family issues has been sharply decreased. I share this story so you'll know that your personal issues, when they get big enough can spill over into your schoolwork and career. Please get help. Talk to a counselor, psychotherapist, pastor, someone.

nurse_wannabe · Jul 10, 2005

thrash, I'm sorry you are feeling so bad right now. I've struggled with depression for most of my life, and I know how hard it is. ((((Hugs)))) to you. :icon_hug: Let me make sure I understand what you are saying. You just started this job and you do not have insurance yet, so you are waiting to get insurance before you see the doctor and get help?

I am in a rural area, but even here we have clinics and health networks that offer the uninsured services for a very small fee. Your instructors are probably familiar with these places in your area... ask about them. You could probably see a doctor or a nurse practitioner for about $10, especially if you tell them that you are a nursing student.

The doctor or NP can prescribe a medication that is affordable, even without an insurance plan. One that I am personally familiar with is Prozac, or fluoxetine. Although I've never ordered from www.drugstore.com, I looked up the price for you and you can get the generic there for $10-$15 a month, depending on the quantity ordered. Your doctor might have samples available that will last until you get your order in. I'm not saying that this is the med for you, as I just graduated (LPN school) and I have no clue, but there are other affordable meds too. Your doctor can tell you which ones are the least expensive. Make sure that you tell the doctor or NP that you are having suicidal thoughts, as some medications can actually make that worse.

Do you have a friend that you can confide in and talk with? A family member? School counselor? Try writing your feelings in a journal or blog every day, you'd be surprised at how much better just getting everything OUT will make you feel. Write letters to those who hurt you in the past, even if you don't ever mean to mail them. Don't be afraid to get angry or to cry. It's better than keeping it all bottled up.

Do something to make YOU feel good. Pack a picnic lunch and head to a park, give yourself a pedicure/manicure, dye your hair or head to the beauty salon for a new cut, watch a favorite movie, go on a road trip, read your favorite book, do whatever makes you happy.

And if you need someone to talk to, email me anytime. Private message me through the board and I'll give you my addy. I also have yahoo messenger, and I'd be happy to give you my yahoo id as well.

I hope you feel better soon. :)

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Jul 10, 2005

Nurse Wannabe.....that's the problem, NOTHING seems to make me happy anymore. Things I used to enjoy I don't do anymore, a big one being exercise. I used to love it...did it almost everyday. Now it is drugery even thinking about it. I have managed to exercise a few days in the last month or so and everytime I do I do feel better but it is very temporary.

Actually, my job is not new. Because I cut my hours below 40 to go to NS (to 30 hrs/wk), my employer would no longer insure me so I had to get added to hubby's, which is in effect, it just didn't show up on his plan yet (I am calling again Monday). He is a cop and has great "psych" benefits, $10 per psych visit, period, unlimited, through something called "Biodyne". My work situation is also complicated and lately has not been too good. Sometimes I think I would be better off mentally to get away from it. There is fear there though because I work in the same dept as an immediate family member (who my quitting would adversely impact, so I have the "guilt" thing going on too) and since I was hired they passed a nepitism policy (?) and won't rehire me if I were to fail out of school. But even that is not a big loss, the company is crap. I have enough student aid to quit my job for a semester, atleast until I can get certified as CNA or something. I have all kinds of available financial resources, but it is debt and of course I want to be conservative as possible with that. Honestly, I think I am just afraid to change and to leave that ever-important family member.

So far (I've only had a day of lecture!) the program is very interesting! Especially the psych!:rotfl: I like the content, but that was never the question. It is whether I can deal with the people day in and day out. But I would like the opportunity to improve myself and I think I just may find my niche in nursing even though right now I think I won't and am so negative. Because of my current mental state, I hate to make any hurried assumptions and drop out. Not the best state to make important decisions in, right? Plus, I have NO clinical healthcare experience whatsoever so that is adding to the anxiety right now. :rolleyes: It has been awesome to finally be around other people that are really trying to improve themselves and get ahead. I have been around such the complete opposite for so long that I was feeling almost suffocated! In addition, I think NS will give me the opportunity to make friends, as I have none and can't really honestly talk to my family and expect a pleasant response.

None of these feelings are new, if you searched under my username you would see I have been quite a mess for awhile. I should have dealt with it earlier. So, it is "nut up or shut up" time.

Oh, I was Dx depressed by PCP, but on Wellbutrin, but it made me itch so I stopped taking it until I can see a psych for a Dx.

Thanks for the replies. I will think long and hard about it all this weekend. :)

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Jul 13, 2005

Wanted to update all of you that helped me with this..........

I saw a psychologist and she did say that I was depressed and told me that in her opinion I should seek medication ( strong family history). I told her how I felt about meds, but she did tell me she thought they might help immensely in my case.

I have another appt with her next week and I also have one with a pscyh for meds in a couple weeks. That was the soonest I could get in! So, I hope I can get in a better place quick because I have no intention of quitting school right now...........although I do think I will have to quit my job for Block 1. I think it might be for the best for a while until I adjust to all the new stress of NS.

Thank again to all of you! I am on the road to a better outlook (hopefully!):)

chattypattyCRNA2B · Jul 13, 2005

OOPS! Didn't see your update. Congragulations on your pulling through, I'm glad that you're doing better.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Jul 13, 2005

All I can say to you is to hang in there. I have been to counseling and therapy before for PTSD (abuse form stepfather) and other things in life.

Counseling and therapy should be a priority also as well as nursing school. You need to be mentally and physically prepared for the course. Don't regret starting school. Many can only wish they were in your spot (I know I do), so having pointed out how lucky you are, let me tell you that you WILL make it and everything will be just fine. Hopefully the insurance will kick in, and that you can go on with therapy (get better) and spark the love for life!

I wish you the best of luck :)

nursemike, ASN, RN · Jul 13, 2005

Way to go, thrash! Nursing school is hard, but sometimes it can be good stress (the kind that gives you a feeling of accomplishment).

Good luck with everything.

My one bit of advice would be to get to know your instructors, and talk with one or more you feel most comfortable with, explaining your situation. They may have some advice or help for you, and if it happened that you did need to drop out for awhile, it could help lay a foundation for coming back when you're feeling better. One of the things I didn't initially grasp about nursing instructors is that they are nurses, and usually very good ones. That isn't to say many other instructors don't also care very deeply for their students, but to a nurse, "caring" is a word that carries a lot of weight.