Bullied in Report

[Sleepyeyes]

I need some advice. I work nights and the nurse on one unit doesn't take Report well. Suddenly I feel like I'm not in Report; it's The Inquisition. I feel bullied by this nurse. Other nurses have said the same to me. So I tried 1) ignoring it *she acted like that was permission to continue*, 2) making lighthearted jokes such as offering to switch shifts with her *she was nice to me that time for 3 days*, 3) standing my ground calmly *but breathing smoke for the next 6 hours* 4) yelling back *she escalated* and 5) going to the Unit Manager *who told me that I should confront the offending nurse, i.e., she's not responsibility/sides.*

I don't have this problem with any of the other nurses. I dread giving information to this nurse because she uses it to attack me. Should I change units, talk to her about this directly, or simply insist on leaving a written report for her and getting out of the building before she gets there?

I looked in the Personnel manual and there is absolutely nothing that outlines proper behavior for 2 RN's toward each other except to "treat coworkers with respect."

I would love it if she would change, but I seriously doubt that "a talk"--especially from me--would do it.

I would appreciate some advice on the matter; I'm sure I haven't thought of every option.

Thanks, S.

[NicuGal, MSN, RN]

It is hard for a newer nurse to confront one that has been there for a while....I work with many people like that and it is hard! I would say to her, could you wait with the questions until I am done with report, then we can discuss things more in depth. If she continues to hassle you, go to the unit manager again and tell her that if she doesn't speak to her you are going to human resources to file a grievance. Is she personally attacking you...that is harrassment. Or is she just lording her "expertise" over you? Any which way, I would report these things, and keep a log of things said and date them. Keep them in a file at home. Then if you have to go to human resources you can copy these to have put with the complaint. Stick up for yourself! I hope things get better for you!

[mustangsheba]

Once in awhile in my journey I have been confronted with this personality. The problem is, they are so busy with their own agendas that they miss the important aspects of the report. The last time this happened to me, I felt so uncomfortable that I missed the point of what she was trying to say, which actually had some validity. When I attempted to apologize and clarify, she continued to harangue and complain and accuse. I finally asked her just what it was she expected or wanted me to do and offered her several options. She wanted none of it, so I said fine, I'm through then. She now will not speak to me or take report, so I try to make the written notes as complete as possible. It's awful starting your shift feeling intimidated and bullied and therefore incompetent. Initially, I would explain to her how her behavior affects you. If that doesn't work, resort to written information only. Be sure to check recent new orders. Best wishes!

[Scarlette]

Sleepyeyes, I'm in the exact same boat as you! I'm a new grad, been on the job 3 months. I work 12 hour midnight shift. I just cringe when I see a certain day shift nurse walk through the door...praying she doesn't have any of my patients so I don't have to give report to her. One night I had a terrible time...I had one patient actively dying, another patient that was "trying" to die, had to be shipped, and another that DID die. She came waltzing in, wanting report on a post op patient. Somehow I managed to have lab values looked up, everything. Well, she had a fit because I didn't pull the patient's foley catheter at 6 am. She got all snotty with me, yelling "That catheter was supposed to been pulled over an hour ago, that's what the orders say, that's what you should do." I got extremely p*ssed, said "Well excuse me, I had 3 people dying and that catheter being pulled was the least of my worries...Next time I'll let the others pt's die while I stand there with a stop watch counting down the seconds until I need to pull the foley so you don't need to get your hands dirty!" She was nice to me for about 3 weeks after. Tried to bully me again. Last week I had another bad night, someone almost died, another pt. couldn't urinate, had a post-op pt puking with bad diarrhea. I must've called 10 doctors that night and scrambled to get my charting done. Little miss b*tch comes strolling in for day shift. She was taking report and asked if I had put extension tubing on a pt's O2. I said "Nope, I had another busy night, I didn't get around to that." She proceeded to roll her eyes and said "Well, I guess extension tubing would be too difficult for you to handle anyway" and gave a little smirk to the nurse standing next to her. I totally lost it! I stood right in her face and told her EXACTLY how my night went, and how extension tubing was low on my priority list at that time, I couldn't be Supernurse like her and be 6 places at once....ect. ect. As I got ready to leave I said "Now, do you have any other smart @ss remarks to say, or ya gonna wait till I leave to say stuff behind my back?!" She rolled her eyes, said nothing and I said "Ya, that's what I thought!"

We haven't crossed paths yet since that incident. Luckily we have been working separate days....it'll be interesting to see how she acts toward me now. Probably no different than before. Other new nurses say that she still treats them like crap in report, and they've been there for a year now! Ugh!

[deespoohbear]

This nurse is bordering on harrassment. I would bring it to my manager's attention and have the other nurses go with you. Is it possible for your manager to be present for report? You shouldn't have to put up with that nonsense. We have taped report now, so much nicer. We used to give verbal report, what a pain in the a**. One nurse was impossible to give report to, not because she was mean or anything, she would just try to figure out the pathophys or tell how the patient was 4 days ago. And it was on every patient. Took forever to get through report with her. Anyway, I would just try and ignore that nurse. She is either a: lazier than a dog, b: thinks she is supernurse, or c: just impossible to please. Probably the less attention you pay to her the better. Good Luck!!

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

Do you work in pods/teams? That way you would have gotten report from the one you would usually be giving it to the next morning. I looked back at the explanation of this way. It's a combo of written/verbal.

https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=10371&highlight=written+report

And isn't it sad this chick can only get her jollies by being a bish?

[Teshiee]

I won't let any nurse bully me. I had a nurse who insist I give her a detail history of the patient. Bare in mind that we only have 15-20 minutes to give report. I believe in pertinent information, changes in condition etc. I was very assertive and blunt, "I am not going to give you all that information you will have to read the chart"! She gave me an odd look but I stood my ground and never had a problem with her again. Some nurses can be straight bytches and you shouldn't let them feel you have to leave your unit because of them. Don't give them that power. Noone is that serious unless she is physically hitting, threatening you don't go for it. Stand your ground. Unfortunately nurses devour their young! Make sure you are a bitter taste to their mouth. :-)

[LadyNASDAQ]

You listen to me, right now!!!

Don't you dare allow this to continue. Her actions can get her fired for harrassment and also are against all codes of conduct. I have been an Assistant Head Nurse in the past and had counseled a Nurse for bullying 2 new grads. I gave one written warning and was covering for the Nurse Manager this paricular week. I decided to listen in on report where I could not be seen and saw and heard for myself what was going on and making remarks using words like moron and demeaning language that I would rather not repeat in this thread. Iwent to the Nursing Supervisor and called this bully into her office. I then fired this Nurse right after report and made a statement to everyone that no one is to belittle any Nurse.

Regardless of experience, it does not mean that a new grad does not know what he/she is doing and many times the ones that have been in nursing make mistakes or are not caring or ju plain lazy. You are very valuable in Nursing and need to know that we can not afford to lose you or have you burn out due to stupid, uncaring personalities.

There is a saing that Nurses eat their young and is it ever true. I urge those Nurses who have the experience and years in this career to please join me to help prevent new grads from being hurt and destroyed so early in their career. Remember, these are the Nurses that will be there when we leave and will be there when we are old and gray.

[babsRN]

Kudos to LadyNASDAQ. Our work lives are difficult enough without having to put up with our elders eating our young. My advice to you is to document your experiences in an objective way...using quotes as much as possible rather than how she made you feel. If you can find others to do the same all the better. Take these to your manager, as she can do little without this documentation. If the manager is unwilling you may then consider traveling up the chain of command, but as a courtesy to the manager, make sure she knows you will be doing this.

Best of luck...I don't see why some of us continue to not play well together in the sandbox. Another thing to consider as you think this through...perhaps this older nurse feels threatened by a younger nurse...and this is her defense? Just a thought. b

[VAC]

I hear you. I've been grilled in report, too. I've dealt with it so long, that these same people now people try to shut me up in report because try to be TOO thorough. When someone asks me an irrelevant question and acts as though I am less of a nurse and stupid because I don't know the answer off the top of my head, what I do is pick up the chart and calmly say, "let's look it up". Then I provide them with all the useless details they want. I also look them in the eye and tell them what I didn't get done before they can complain about it. Now there's only one nurse left who talks down to me in report, haven't blown up at her yet, but have wanted to. I love the story about a nurse being fired for bullying others and wish more managers felt the same way.

[thisnurse]

i remember when i used to go thru that crap too. and i remember calling it the inquisition.

i had a few nurses question my judgement calls...i stood my ground.

i too liked the story about firing the bully nurse. unfortunately for me i have not had much luck going to management. the attitude on my unit seems to be "deal with it"

most of our good people get new jobs or transfer to other units for this reason. the attitude seems to be "they cant cut it"

the attitude never is...lets see whats wrong on our floor.

the m/s unit i work on is extremely busy. report can take forever. i dont give vital signs unless they are out of the norm. i dont want them either unless they are out of the norm. please dont tell me that my 85 year old chf patient had a tonsillectomy when she was 2. i dont care. i just want to get started so im not behind before i even begin.

i have had about 3 blow ups at work. they were not pretty and they didnt make me feel very good but facing the bullies stopped the bullying. i dont feel like they gave me much of a choice. i am not going to be a doormat or a whipping boy.

my advice to you is never use the "f" word during a face off. lol

[ohbet]

Talk to her,tell her manner and attitude is unprofessional and unethical, that the respect she gives to her patients is also to be given to her collegues . Nurses are bound ethically to respect the dignity and worth of all humans.

Of course this probably wont help,so after speaking with her and she continues, speak with the unit manager or head nurse.