Broken relationships & focusing yourself for the NCLEX?

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Hello allnurses,

I wanted to share an insight and experience I am having right now. I know this may not be a topic that many would seek, but I am sure I am not the only one who may be experiencing these types of problems during preparation for the exam.

I am a 2014 BSN graduate and I am still currently studying for the NCLEX. Honestly, I have been procrastinating myself in doing other things instead of studying (I know and I am very not proud of that). I have been I guess too overwhelmed to the fact that I can just "do it later", but I was wrong. I am having a problem focusing due to problems such as emotional issues.

I recently have broken up with my relationship just when I needed that support system and when I have decided to be really serious into studying for the examination. I am doing practice Q&A which helps a lot in learning. But when I come to the book into reading and understanding, I cannot concentrate at all. I tend to think about the past especially on the break-up.

It is very difficult to tend to studying when you have some other things such as emotional issues unresolved going through your mind. I am trying to cope to this GRIEF I suppose. But i cannot help it, and I decided to seek for some help and asking here if what can others tell me.

I am a religious with all due respect with others and I truly believe that probably,

"God can take away something you never expect to lose. But He can replace it with something you can never imagined you would have. Accept. Move on. Look forward"

And I am thinking the break-up can be sort of "sign" so I can focus into achieving that goal! TO BE A UNITED STATES REGISTERED NURSE. But how do you handle the grief and sadness towards studying? How do you keep moving forward?

I hope someone out there can understand what I am going through and relate it to studying for the examination. I have been doing research and it doesn't seem to help that much. I even am reading a book that helps on grief management. I decided to follow some ideas though to cut out distractions such as:

  • Disconnecting from social media
  • Trying to make a thorough plan and schedule for studying
  • Isolation
  • Exercising (cardio & gym, 3-5x in a week)

It's hard to move on, it's hard to cope grief, but I am doing my best. It's been days since the break-up and I am devastated because I cannot stop thinking like a psychotic patient and it stalls me so much! Very pressuring since I am still waiting in the processing for the NCLEX. But I know that relationships right now isn't even worth the time than the career path, that's why I decided to just stop.

Is there anyone out there who can tell me things that can help me in this situation? I will be glad to read them. I know everyone here is a nurse, student, graduate in the field of nursing. I will really appreciate everything you may say.

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I'll spare you my sob story and just tell you what helped me. I set a date for NCLEX. No matter how many mini breaks I had to take to cry and feel sad (which was a lot!) that test date always popped into my head and I would get back to studying.

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That seems to be one swell technique. thank you. I guess we both have a loss and battling the same battle. Have you done your examination yet? I hope you don't mind me asking.

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

Put a thick rubber band on your wrist before you start studying.Every time your mind wanders to the break up give yourself a snap.....You'll stay on track....

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did that help with you?

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Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.

Just go ahead and schedule a date 2-4 weeks from now. You'd be amazed at how motivated you get with only a week left.

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I am still waiting for my credentials to be approved. it takes a while. But i should think about taking it soon. right now.. been trying to manage this grief.

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Do you mean that you are a 2015 grad? Because if you actually graduated in 2014, I'm not understanding why you are just now thinking about the NCLEX. Are you a citizen in another country and waiting for permission to take NCLEX?

Don't make "motivation" a condition for studying and taking the exam. Schedule the exam and study whether you are motivated or whether you aren't. You don't wait "until you feel like it" to pay bills, file a tax return, etc. You didn't go to class only when you were motivated did you? You went regardless. Treat this the same way. You schedule specific times to study in the ways that you have previously found to work for you. Take feeling motivated completely out of the equation because that's just giving you a way to make excuses for not doing what you know you need to do.

As to your personal issues, you might find counseling very helpful, but putting off taking your NCLEX isn't going to help your personal life one iota.

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I am a 2014 graduate, and yes you are right, I am a foreign graduate and I haven't finished processing my credentials last year because State of NYC takes a long time. so I decided to apply to my own state here in TX.

While waiting last year, I was working as a medical assistant at a local rehab for internal medicine but I stopped because I did not like it anymore and I realized I have more potential into becoming a RN. (very stupid of me actually) but experience is experience. I was working for 6 mos.

I really like what you said, (I also appreciate everyone else's suggestion and I thank you all) but I come to think bout it, when I went to school I went to school cause i had to... and I have to strictly do that to my studying as well. That's a very better point of thinking.

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Specializes in ICU.

Can I ask how old you are? And you do realize in a few months you won't be a new grad anymore? How can Texas be your state if you are a foreign nurse?

Honestly, suck it up and move on here. I had a break up last fall and managed to do well in clinical and finals. Depends on what you want in life. You want this girl? Skip NCLEX and fix it. You don't want her? Focus on your life.

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I am a resident here in TX. I also thought about it.. and i really choose to go on with my career path. Your right... suck it up and i should focus on the right priorities. And focus in my own life. Thats impt! Thank you for that!

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Can I ask how old you are? And you do realize in a few months you won't be a new grad anymore? How can Texas be your state if you are a foreign nurse?

Honestly, suck it up and move on here. I had a break up last fall and managed to do well in clinical and finals. Depends on what you want in life. You want this girl? Skip NCLEX and fix it. You don't want her? Focus on your life.

I had a very similar situation and even though I do want this girl, NCLEX had to be a priority. you can do well and still have human emotions such as sadness. you just have to remember to study.

Whats funny is now that I passed NCLEX, Ive fallen in a really depressed state. as if studying was keeping my emotions in check

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