bricklayer's accident report - very funny!

[randomnamees]

> This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the

newsletter

> of the British equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.

>

> This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award

> for sure...

>

> Dear Sir,

>

> I am writing in response to your request for additional information in

Block

> 3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor planning" as the cause of my

> accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following

> details will be sufficient:

>

> I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working

alone

> on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found

I

> had some bricks left over, which, when weighed later were found to be

> slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I

> decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to

> the side of the building on the sixth floor.

>

> Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel

> out and loaded the bricks into it.

>

> Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow

> descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report

form

> that I weigh 135lbs.

>

> Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my

> presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I

> proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of

> the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an

> equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor

abrasions

> the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

>

> Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the

> fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

> Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able

to

> hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now

> beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the

barrel

> of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid

> of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I

> refer you again to my weight.

>

> As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the

> building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.

> This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe

> lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change

> slightly.

>

> The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my

injuries

> when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae

> were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on

> the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and

> presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty

> barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken

> legs.

>

> I hope this answers your inquiry.

[mustangsheba]

Only a Brit could say it so well, I think! I love it.

[lpnandloveit1]

what wonderful language!!!!!!! Until now the best incident report was from a kitchen aide while I was charge nurse in an LTC. "I stoke my hand in a boekt and cut my fanger." I swear this was the entire narritive.

[donmurray]

That reminds me, just last week, I read an incident form from a colleague, which ran;

"Whilst assisting washing and dressing Mr. K......, with Nurse Smith, who has a history of aggressive behaviour....We've all been there, I'm sure!

Don

[wsiab]

Bricklayer's Lament by the Cory Brothers

[lpnandloveit1]

Don't care who wrote it, performed it etc. I still love it.

[donmurray]

Anyone heard of Gerard Hoffnung? Wit and raconteur, he first told this story to the Oxford Union, around the late 1950's. Other such tales include Letters from Tyrolean Landlords("there is a French Widow in every bedroom.......affording delightful prospects..") Similar to Victor Borge, or Peter Ustinov.

[cwood2b]

That was too funny...I am still laughing!!! :D :D :D

[rowbucks]

this is just too funny. i know a couple of people who would be that stupid. :cool:

[misti_z]

TOOOOO Funny. :D

[Y2KRN]

Love it! LMAO

Y2KRN

[smileystudent]

this story made my night. i can't stop laughing. thanks i need this.:roll :roll