bricklayer's accident report - very funny!

Nurses Humor


> This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the


> of the British equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.


> This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award

> for sure...


> Dear Sir,


> I am writing in response to your request for additional information in


> 3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor planning" as the cause of my

> accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following

> details will be sufficient:


> I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working


> on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found


> had some bricks left over, which, when weighed later were found to be

> slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I

> decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to

> the side of the building on the sixth floor.


> Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel

> out and loaded the bricks into it.


> Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow

> descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report


> that I weigh 135lbs.


> Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my

> presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I

> proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of

> the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an

> equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor


> the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.


> Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the

> fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

> Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able


> hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now

> beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the


> of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid

> of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I

> refer you again to my weight.


> As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the

> building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.

> This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe

> lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change

> slightly.


> The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my


> when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae

> were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on

> the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and

> presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty

> barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken

> legs.


> I hope this answers your inquiry.


499 Posts

Only a Brit could say it so well, I think! I love it.


79 Posts

what wonderful language!!!!!!! Until now the best incident report was from a kitchen aide while I was charge nurse in an LTC. "I stoke my hand in a boekt and cut my fanger." I swear this was the entire narritive.


837 Posts

That reminds me, just last week, I read an incident form from a colleague, which ran;

"Whilst assisting washing and dressing Mr. K......, with Nurse Smith, who has a history of aggressive behaviour....We've all been there, I'm sure!



95 Posts

Bricklayer's Lament by the Cory Brothers


79 Posts

Don't care who wrote it, performed it etc. I still love it.


837 Posts

Anyone heard of Gerard Hoffnung? Wit and raconteur, he first told this story to the Oxford Union, around the late 1950's. Other such tales include Letters from Tyrolean Landlords("there is a French Widow in every bedroom.......affording delightful prospects..") Similar to Victor Borge, or Peter Ustinov. :D


18 Posts

That was too funny...I am still laughing!!!:D :D :D :D :D :D


10 Posts

this is just too funny. i know a couple of people who would be that stupid. :cool: :cool: :cool:


375 Posts

TOOOOO Funny. :D :D :D


216 Posts

Love it! LMAO



31 Posts

this story made my night. i can't stop laughing. thanks i need this.:roll :roll

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