Published Sep 26, 2018
ilovenursingsomuch
3 Posts
Hello everyone,
I need advice as to what to do with my life lol. I don't like my job!
I am a generally "new" nurse, i have been in medical oncology for the past 14 months. I hate it. I really do not enjoy oncology and I feel like it's really affecting my mental health and overall happiness. It's extremely stressful, overwhelming and depressing. So many of my patients pass away and it just is not what I want to do. It doesn't interest me.
I signed a 3-year contract with my hospital and I don't really want to break the contract and close the opportunity to work for this large company again. (that's what breaking the contract would do).
I really wish to work in labor and delivery which my hospital does not have.
I have applied to other positions within the hospital but I haven't heard back at all from any. I feel desperate and don't know what to do.
Since I already have a year of experience, do I break the contract and find my ideal position elsewhere?
Or do I suck it up and stay for the next two years? I will have to start administering chemotherapy soon which I don't want to do.
Also, I'm going to be starting NP school in January so that's an added stressor since I'll have class 2 days a week.
Any experienced nurses have had this circumstance before?
My gut tells me not to break the contract but how am I gonna stay this unhappy for the next two years?
Help! Advice?
Swellz
746 Posts
Wait until you hear back about the other positions before you despair. What is it you don't like about oncology? Why do you want to avoid giving chemo? Do you become do-not-rehire if you break the contract or just have to pay a fine?
I started in oncology and didn't like it, but found out after I left it to travel that everything else (at least in the MS/tele/stepdown areas that I experienced) sucked in comparison lol. Not saying you'll have the same experience, but if you have to fulfill this contract you may end up somewhere without greener grass if you transfer. But if your passion is L&D you could always ask an L&D dept what previous experience they like to see, and then strategically transfer.
CharleeFoxtrot, BSN, RN
840 Posts
I signed a 3-year contract with my hospital and I don't really want to break the contract and close the opportunity to work for this large company again. (that's what breaking the contract would do). My gut tells me not to break the contract but how am I gonna stay this unhappy for the next two years?
A few points to consider. Fulfilling your contract in a less than ideal situation for two years will benefit you in the long run a lot more than quitting now and jumping to another position. Starting a new position and NP school at the same time is a recipe to fail one or both. You may not love your current job but it surely will be easier than breaking in at a new facility. Pursuing an internal transfer might be better, but is the shift you currently work compatible with school and home life? Speaking of home, what are you doing for yourself in terms of work/life balance? Can you think of ways to de-stress and/or get more self-care time than you have been.? We could all use a little more self-care and having that safety net outside work would help you no matter what you decide to do :)
IME totally closing the door to your current employer by breaking the contract isn't a smart career move, especially in search of "my ideal/dream/must have career without which I was not achieve lifetime fulfillment and future happiness and I'm totally miserable at my current job it s*cks". Yes, that is a gross overstatement but too often I see people with a really bad case of the grass is always greener on the other side and dwelling on that negativity just ramps up your stress levels.
Maybe re-framing your thought process? Try looking at your current job as a temporary bad but tolerable situation until: A. an inter-system position opens up for you or B: you get your time in and can then make a move or C: you get your NP and can write your own ticket.
Yes, it's not your ideal job but it is a stepping stone and is adding to your skill set (even if it teaches you how to better cope with stress and less-than-perfect situations).
Accolay
339 Posts
Did the contract you signed incur some kind of financial incentive? What's the catch? If so, would you have to pay money back?
So, starting NP school in January but would like to move to another job in a different hospital (since your hospital doesn't have L&D) which could be stressful due to a new place, coworkers and orientation, and an unknown work schedule.
That's a hard one. I guess if you can follow up at all with your HR about the other positions and if they don't work out then if you think you can handle it, look for anoter job in L&D. If that doesn't work out, then I think you're going to have to suck it up and continue in oncology until you can find something else. There has to be something you can find enjoyable about your current work. Something that makes it worth it to do the job.
EDIT to add I find your username ironic.
sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN
2,398 Posts
What about PACU, ER.....etc....
Best wishes
Cardiac catheter lab also interesting..
CCU etc
In same facility
Been there,done that, ASN, RN
7,241 Posts
Nobody should own you for 3 years. What is your mental health worth to you?
walkingrock, ADN
178 Posts
It's not easy to get a job (as a new grad) in my area (CA) without 2 years of experience. You might want to hang in there for at least that long. Maybe by then you could transfer to another department. A lot of L & D's want previous experience in labor or experience in postpartum (mother/baby).
What is your end goal here? What are you taking your NP in? I'm not seeing a connection between becoming an NP and working in L & D. I could see if you were going to become a CNM.
What are you working in now? Swellz. I'm curious..
I'd have to pay a fine according to my contract. But other people I know that have broken it, don't pay, they just sign a paper that they can never work for the hospital again.
Maternity was my favorite favorite class and clinical in school which is why I have an itch to work in that department.
I don't like the emotional part of oncology. I am too sensitive I guess, and I can't stand seeing all these patients pass away so often.
Currently taking the chemo course, I'm okay with doing it since I have to, but on my unit, we give a LOT of chemo and I feel like it's somewhat unsafe in a sense. Which scares me.
There's nothing really "better" in my hospital that I know of so it's hard to see where I could potentially transfer.
Charleefoxtrot, Thank you for your input. You're totally right! I guess maybe I need to totally change my attitude and just think of work as work. It's hard when I work a couple days in a row and it feels like it's my whole life lol.
As for taking care of myself, I am working hard on finding activities I enjoy.
I actually made appts to get a massage, facial and my nails done. I love doing those things and I'm gonna start doing them more often.
I also just went on a mini vacation and maybe coming back to work 3 days in a row is what totally made me feel miserable lol
I changed my outlook after reading your post and I feel better already. Gonna try to enjoy my days off to the max and when I work, leave it all at work and don't think of it when I'm at home.
Thanks again!
You're welcome, take good care of yourself :)
What are you working in now? Swellz. I'm curious..I'd have to pay a fine according to my contract. But other people I know that have broken it, don't pay, they just sign a paper that they can never work for the hospital again. Maternity was my favorite favorite class and clinical in school which is why I have an itch to work in that department. I don't like the emotional part of oncology. I am too sensitive I guess, and I can't stand seeing all these patients pass away so often. Currently taking the chemo course, I'm okay with doing it since I have to, but on my unit, we give a LOT of chemo and I feel like it's somewhat unsafe in a sense. Which scares me. There's nothing really "better" in my hospital that I know of so it's hard to see where I could potentially transfer.
I work in oncology now as a travel nurse. Oncology is an emotionally taxing specialty, no lie. I left it for that reason, but after being a way for 9 months (and working in other specialties) I remembered aspects that I liked about it. I also let four years of trauma from loss build up inside me, rather than dealing with it. I made it harder than it had to be.
Like other posters said, take care of you first. Your hospital probably has resources for you for emotional support - don't be afraid to use them, even if others don't. If you are comfortable going to your manager or educator or a charge nurse, tell them that you're struggling with this. I would bet they've been through it too. Make sure you are taking your breaks. Get sleep, go on vacation, spend a little money on yourself, and use whatever healthy coping mechanisms you have in your orificenal (journaling, exercising, venting on here etc). Keep in mind that although there's a lot of loss specifically in oncology, there is loss in L&D and any other specialty as well. It's the nature of the beast, so learning how to deal with it is going to be part of this process.
When I took my chemo course I was petrified. I was 100% certain that chemo was terrible, that every patient of mine was going to have a chemo reaction, and that I was going to grow another limb or something after spilling chemo on myself. Chemo is to be respected, but the bottom line is that you are administering it by the same rights of administration as other drugs. Don't let people rush you. Ask questions if you are uncomfortable. I'd rather work in a hospital that gives chemo all the time than in a hospital that gives chemo occasionally. If someone has seen something a million times, they've seen complications and side effects and know how to handle them. Target nurses who are knowledgeable about the chemo drugs and use them as a resource.
You can do it!