blah... i thought that nursing school was not going to be this hard!!!

RhodyGirl, RN · Mar 18, 2009

Hang in there buddy. Keep doing what you're doing, ignore the gossip/drama and you'll be fine. I tend to keep to myself a lot of the time; stay in my car before exams, etc., and that helps. Tweety is right, stress just brings out the worst in some people.

NurseJeanB · Mar 18, 2009

Hey,

I hear you, sometimes the drama can get to you, but it would be that way for anyone in such a stressful environment regardless if they were male or female. NS just have to vent =) . I just have to remind myself that I only have 8 months left and to just keep going. You are doing very well for all that you have taken on. Just remember that you don't have all that long either.

Take care,

Jean

RNDreams · Mar 18, 2009

:down:Ha-ha I must comment on the poster darkrainydays post and with all of her 27 years of experience she noted that the most drama in the class came from a guy. I have manager spas for the last several years and I thought (for a few attempts at hiring males) that they would break up the cattiness and gossip and eash time (I have tried 3 now 2 gay and 1 straight) to work my front desk not including the ( male) stylists & massage therrapists that I had on staff and only since i dealt with it first hand that is why I knw that root of a lot of in house problems came from the guys. It was a catch 22 though because my spa was affiliate wiuth a fitness center where pro. athletes worked out and they as well as many woman prefer males therapists for massage and hair. Massage is understandable becasue I prefer them to, they are hands down stronger and I love deep tissue massage forr the back problems I have but as for the guy dtylists the woman clients loved them becasue they chatted and yes gossiped about everyone in the facility the entire time and yu know woman loved that and as a spa manager it was hard becasue they had huge client bases that were regulars and contributed to a lot of the return revenue for the spa and my pay was performance based so the better they did the better I did and my paycheck reflected it so I had to keep them becasue overall for both domains massage and hair, they did better at retaining clients and tip then the girls did even if their actual hands on skills and the final outcome of say a womans hair color wasnt "by the book" ot at times they got to talking so much I was shocked that these women didnt care that they left my spa/salon with orange hair becasue they had gotten they 3 hour fix of talking with this guy and that was the main reason they were there to gossip and talk with them about their husbands, friends and family life, even to the straight guys which was a shocker, so I guess I am looking at the same thing when I enter NS, funny how thigs are the same in cmpletely different industries.

Jusat a thought that poster struck up for me, especially b/c it was the same for her 27 years ago in NS, as it was in my spa as it looks like it will be for me in a couple of years (at the most) in NS.

Funny how hings never change...that is something I wouldnt have been prepared for so I appreciate the post to prepare me so I know what I am getting myself into becasue that is one of the main things about spa management that irked me the most!

Christine:yeah:

AOx1 · Mar 19, 2009

Bit of advice for dealing with this?

Enjoy the ones you can, don't 100% trust anyone, ignore the rest.

A "standard response" also helps. The things that annoyed me the most when I was a student were people constantly asking about my grades, and gossiping about others. This were my standard responses.

Student A: "LtL, how did you do on the test?"

Me: "Fine, thanks."

Student A: "Yeah, but what was your score?"

Me: "It was about what I expected considering my preparation, thanks."

If they keep asking, I just keep saying "It went fine, thanks."

I've learned that if you ace them all, people will find a zillion reasons why you are succeeding when they don't. If you don't do as well as you hoped, everyone wants to give you advice.

For gossip:

Student A: "Hey LtL, did you hear about Student B, I heard she's stupid and loves to get drunk."

Me: "Wow, that hasn't been my experience with her. I'm sorry you mistook me for someone who would be interested in discussing someone out of their presence."

Is it cold? Probably. But people will quickly leave you alone on this type of stuff. I try to be polite- no sense burning bridges, but if pushed, I will increase the force of my response until I am left alone. If someone talks about others in your presence, they are talking about you in someone else's presence.

I wish I could tell you that this kind of thing goes away in the workplace. It doesn't. But I can tell you my spouse is probably the best at this polite aversion to gossip of anyone I have met, always making a conscious effort not to engage in this pettiness. I believe it's part of the reason he's been promoted over and over. A more direct route to dealing with problems is always best. I think you will see this after you graduate- your refusal to take part in this silliness will serve you well.

Have you explored all your scholarship options? You might be able to cut back some on your work hours if you are concerned about your grades. But I can say that many times students with many responsibilities are very organized, motivated, and can excel.

You sound as if things are going well; don't get discouraged, first semester is the worst for many students. It's like learning a new language with nursing terms, nursing process, and a whole new set of skills. It takes time for things to "come together"- in fact, I see the biggest changes in most of my students after 2nd semester, especially in the ones who work in externships at hospitals.

One thing I always tell first semester is to invest in a good NCLEX guide. Start now, and find one that's divided by subject area, as it sounds like your curriculum is. In other words, it has sections on fundamentals, peds, ob, etc. Study that guide like crazy before a test, you'd be surprised how many times you encounter a similar question.

Good luck. Invest in a punching bag or a good gym membership if you can; taking out that frustration is a great thing and brings blood back to your brain after you've been sitting in class all day :)

mochabean · Mar 19, 2009

You hang in there, Csantos! The semester is almost over!

mom35 · Mar 19, 2009

I am going to be sure and stay out of the drama. I tried study group before and as others have said, I ended up teaching them. They didnt even study before the group so that we could come together and share knowledge!! (mind you this is in AP,not a N student yet) So I just do better studying on my own. Most study groups seem to end up being social group get togethers.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Mar 19, 2009

I found with me, instead of study groups, I find one person equally smart and we study together. It usually works out great. They think of something I hadn't thought of and so we go over that and vice versa. I know after the test we both have said, "I am so glad you thought about such and such or else I would have missed that on the test" it also helped for us to look over each others note cards as well since it was seeing it from a different perspective.

RNDreams · Mar 19, 2009

Ha Livetolearn I wish you would have worked for me in he spa when I was still managingine. The gossip was ALL directed at me as the sole manager of 30+ employees and after a while it really took a mental toll on me b/c I had all of the kiss up's comiing to me saying "I just think you should know __________ thinks this of you" or "_____ said thatyou suck as a manager and they hate you" lmpwing how to puch my buttons. It turned out I left spa menagement, which I did love, for those very reasons when I know it was the people coming to me and "just trying to help out" or "be a friend b/c they could tell I was overstressed and overworked" whic I know I never let show so again they know that saying that ti me bothered me and ir always turned out to be that ver oersib coming to "save" me by telling me what other were saying about me that were the people saying those hurtful things about meto other taff members and then coming to me and telling me that that these things were said by their persomal targer for the day for whatever petty reason they had to do so.

AARRRGGHHHHHH! Nice friends huh? When I finally started to confront these people (with the GM at my side) immedictely all of the fingers were pointed at my "friends" "helpers" and "eyes and ears to help report things to me when I wasnt there" turbed out to be the troublemakers everytime.

It is sad b/c these people truly got some sick satisfaction when they knew they were destroying a career that besides the long hours I worked, I really loved.

You nailed it with you responses b/c if you even nod your head and lisen to them, they feel you are in agreement with them. Same crap different occupation...

Christine :redbeathe

9livesRN, BSN, RN · Mar 19, 2009

I am standing still, lol I just needed to vent,! today at school things went so nice, people started noticing that i am not "around" and watching them like a circus acting up and complaining hehehe!

although there is the bad side of their complaining, just as an example, we took a test and the teacher added some questions from a chapter that we covered but she did not state that it would be on the test, even though 90% of us got all those 8 question rights!

well some girls instead of talking to her went passed the chain of command, right to the director, and complained, made a drama and a big deal (keep in mind that we were lectured on it!)

then next thing you knoe, the instructor had to take those questions out and all of us had a curve down!!!!

so their actions are starting to bother the class in general!

well.. i am not sweating it i am passing it and proud of being able to do so since I still have to work ft...

I hate to see people fail, i hate to see things like that, but just be nice, take it easy do things on the right way!!!

I am just so looking forward for finals lol i will bring a bag of popcorn that week because the action will be hot...!!!

jerry jerry!

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · Mar 19, 2009

OMG are you serious?? They felt it was unfair they weren't TOLD SPECIFICALLY what questions would be on the test even though the material is covered. Are we in the same class?? My last exam the teacher ended up dropping a few of the questions because a group of girls that I DREAD I will be starting NS with in August, complained about some of the questions. They didn't read it correctly, they got the wrong answer PERIOD! But the teacher dropped the questions. Thankfully he did it in a way that didn't bring down everyones grade unless you got perfect score which no one did. I think only 3 people got A's period. So it actually helped all of our scores but it was still annoying to say the least, you got it wrong, suck it up and deal with it.

shann106 · Mar 20, 2009

In my class it is the men that are the drama queens, er kings. One in particular disrupts class everyday with his whining.

It is frustrating for those of us that are working, taking care of a family, and going to nursing school listen to the single childless, unemployed students complain about how hard school is and how they don't have time to study.