Bipolar Nurse Hoping to Open Awareness of Mental Illness

Nurses Disabilities

Published

Hello everyone,

I am new to the site and have chosen to join simply because of a previous post about mental illness and incredibly insulting comments that followed. I am posting a thread about this in an attempt to create more awareness about mental illness.I am hoping this thread will be positive and productive, so I have chosen my words very carefully. I am hoping that if you choose to reply you will be respectful to me and others. I would like people to think about the stigma people endure.

I myself have been diagnosed with Bipolar I. As a 23 year old RN with a BSN, I have had to work hard to be successful. Getting a job working on a NeuroTrauma unit. I missed 2 weeks of my senior year of nursing school, finally getting the diagnosis of Bipolar I along with confirming a diagnosis of ADD, still graduating with my class. I didn't even think to take a break. I obtained my RN License in October of the same year.

To bring up the particular post I mentioned, I couldn't help but notice that not one person in that thread mentioned how having a disorder makes you more compassionate, more open to anyone having trouble, and simply more sensitive. On the Neuro Trauma unit I had a patient who had witnessed a murder after a terrible decision to accept illegal drugs into her suburban home. Simply put it was a drug deal gone wrong. Her friend was shot, she was stabbed, pretended to be dead and had to run a mile and a half for a neighbors help. She was put on Protected Medical History given a fake name all while having multiple stab wounds and a chest tube. She was terrified. Her boyfriend even refused to let her stay with him because he believed she would be a danger to his children. I could just sense the pain and shame this woman felt. As a young nurse I refused to label her as a drug addict, knowing other nurses had already assigned that label. It didn't change the fact I had a job to care for this woman to the best of my ability. At the end of her stay, she told me "You made me feel safe" giving me a huge hug with tears in her eyes. I have never been more thankful or happy to have chosen nursing as a profession. I also think that moment truly speaks for itself in terms of having a bipolar nurse. I cannot believe that people think people with mental illnesses have no business being in the medical field. That they are a danger to their patients. I have had patients ask for me even when I wasn't even assigned to them. Asking to talk to me simply because they felt comfortable and at ease because of my care, good humor and willingness to listen.

I am extremely proud to call myself a nurse and the comments made about nurses with bipolar disorder were incredibly hurtful and truly insensitive. I just want people to know that Bipolar people can successful, take Catherine Zeta-Jones for example and Demi Lovato, beautiful and well respected people with serious talented. There are too many people who do not fully understand mental illness or what it's like to have one. So many people asking can I have a career with this disorder. The answer is yes, of course taking personal abilities into account but it should never ever prevent someone from believing they can't do something because of a condition impossible to change.

I ask that you give this some thought and if anyone has ideas about how to create more awareness I would certainly be open to suggestions and help.

All the best,

Hanna RN BSN

Hello,

Thought I would post this to the Bipolar Nurse group. Has anyone ever heard of the State Board imposing a 5 year probation to a nurse who has mental illness. Doesn't this sound extreme and don't drug addicts and those who have other problems like theft and battery and even worse have even less years imposed on them? I am in a situation in which a doctor took advantage of me by not addressing my physical needs while in an examination tailored for a mental status examination which led me to answer the questions in a less than favorable responses. (like if you had a fever or were hypoglycemic) When addressed to the board the doctor lied about giving me adequate breaks when I did not and the board denied me an opportunity for another examination when I told them about it. The doctor took advantage of me during his questioning and deemed me unfit to be a nurse even when I was needing to postpone the examination at a later date and time, he just coerced me into sitting into an examination that was supposed to be 2 hours when it ended up being 5.5 hours with no food, 5oz . of water and no addressing of other physical complaints such as sweating and hypoglycemia.

Just because I have bipolar disorder, the physical parts of this were unenduring and I was answering questions relative to the coercion of the psyschiatrist somewhat similar to being coerced into a false confession. I also did not have representation with me either.

Now I am left with a decision to go to the board and show just cause or take the five year probation. I feel that the minimum five year probation is uncalled for due to the symptoms I was experiencing during the exam, that I should have an opportunity for another exam, that any nurse who is forced into probation because of a mental illness is pure discriminatory and that I am leaning towards proving just cause because I informed the board, the psychiatrist and even my lawyer that I was experiencing physical symptoms during the exam and that I should be given another opportunity when I am feeling better and at my best when I can answer the questions more accurately. I believe I was operating at a position of weakness and these physical symptoms were influencing my mental state regardless of whether I have bipolar disorder or not. It does not make me any less of a nurse.

Please respond with information of your knoweldge of others who have been on probation for what reason and how long.

Also I am curious as to what percentage of nurses have this disability and what percentage of nurses suffer from depression or any other mental health condition.

Please also respond if you would take this any further legally and where you think I can get support for this (NIMH or ANA) or where.

I have a lawyer and he wants me to take the probation and I don't want to nor do I think it is approriate for the duration or for the surrounding circumstances that were involved.

I am supposed to respond the the state board by 2/22/2013.

Thanks for your input.

Heather

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Heather,

We cannot give any sort of legal advice here. However, I will tell you that I am in a monitoring program for 5 years (complete with drugs screens and appts and form completion every month) for BPD and alcohol abuse--that's what my board order says. I have been in 6 months. The reason your attorney may want you to take the probation is because he is thinking that you might get denied going before the Board. I could be wrong, but that is always a possibility.

Take a look around the forum about threads with nurses with mental illness.As far as ANA and NIMH, they do not really have a dog in the race, so to speak. I think you mean citing ADA. As long as they offer you licensure if you do "x,y,z", they are not breaking ADA.

My situation--I have a consent/board order and it is public--no the Board is not breaking HIPAA. I have a thread going on that in the recovery forum about HPMP.

Good luck!

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Also I am curious as to what percentage of nurses have this disability and what percentage of nurses suffer from depression or any other mental health condition.

Heather

Hi, Heather, I'm a longtime member here. I have bipolar 2. (Changed later to bipolar 1.)

As wish_me_luck posted, we can't offer any legal or medical advise per the Terms of Service of this site. However, you raise an interesting question that I've been studying for awhile myself; personally, I find it fascinating that there are so many nurses with bipolar disorder. When I was diagnosed a year ago, I felt utterly alone; but as I've 'met' more and more BPers here, it's become clear that it's not an uncommon condition. Stress brings out the worst in us, and nursing is nothing if not LOADED with stress!

I'd also be surprised if a poll of nurses didn't show that a large minority of us have one or more diagnosable mental illnesses, with depression and anxiety leading the pack. Which makes for an interesting "the-chicken-or-the-egg" discussion: are people with mood and other mental disorders more likely to go into nursing, or does the job itself cause or contribute to the development (or exacerbation) of mental illness?

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Viva las viejas,

You make an interesting observation of whether or not the profession relays into a possible mental health problem. It is possible that the profession itself does result in some other abnormalies. It is quite clear that the nursing profession itself discriminates among its own members when it comes to mental illness. Their is no reason why a nurse with mental illness cannot carry on duties just like any other nurse who says has diabetes or high cholesterol. We don't tell someone with these problems that they must be monitored by a governing body. Mental illness is no different. It is a medical illness and it should be treated as so. PMHP is a program designed for people who have experienced theft, battery and have diverted narcotics. It should not be used for people with medical illnesses. This only promotes discrimination invades privacy and responds with humiliation within the field.

Heather

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

Viva, I've come to learn that ALL of us have the many traits of mental illness through our personalities...When a series of crises or a significant stressful event occurs, the aspects of those traits come up, sometimes to our benefit, sometimes to our detriment...but they are there, and can be managed, that's for sure.

It is a chronic health condition no different than hypertension, DM, CAD...there is a growing consensus about using debriefing and EAP programs are available and free as well. Sometimes the stigma is within ourselves, our images and expectations for ourselves and how we "should be as nurses."

I can see the evolution about mental health. I disclosed my condition and was very upfront about it, and my continuing management for it. It is in my physical records in employee health, every thing. People have been SUPER supportive, from my school, my previous job, as well as my current job. I hope we keep our voices strong...we have support here, and we can evolve this attitude.

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Heather,

I do understand what you are saying. But, as I told my mom, I don't think it helps to try and divide yourself from your monitoring program peers. I think a better way to approach this is to educate other nurses (and healthcare professionals) that the monitoring programs are not only for people who divert, but for everyone who has a physical or mental illness and/or chemical dependency/drug diversion. Then, start educating other providers and lay people/citizens about mental illness.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I can see the evolution about mental health. I disclosed my condition and was very upfront about it, and my continuing management for it. It is in my physical records in employee health, every thing. People have been SUPER supportive, from my school, my previous job, as well as my current job. I hope we keep our voices strong...we have support here, and we can evolve this attitude.

I agree! Good for you for being so honest about your illness. :up:

I "came out" with my diagnosis fairly early on, and for the most part it's been a good thing. With all the med tweaks and experimentation I've been through, it's not as if I can totally hide it, although I do present well and usually come across as being a little quirky or odd, rather than mentally ill.

The first place I disclosed was right here on AN, a couple of weeks after the initial appointment with my psychiatrist. I was terrified, but felt I needed to float a trial balloon to get an idea of how (or whether) I'd be accepted now that I had this label. Happily, everyone who responded was supportive and kind, and several of my closer friends here noted that it explained the erratic behavior they'd seen in my postings at times.

My workplace was a little different. I hold a very responsible position, and as close as I was to my immediate supervisor and fellow managers, I was hesitant to be "out" at work. But when I had a severe manic episode last June, I had no choice but to 'fess up. Again, people were supportive, gracious, and even curious about my condition; now, unfortunately, I think it's being used to question my ability to continue in this job, because my performance has been somewhat inconsistent of late.

I've been through a lot in the past year or so, what with multiple family crises and other triggering events, but that's not necessarily my illness......it's just life. Of course, I have yet to master the art of discernment---I can't always tell what's a mood episode and what's merely situational---but I'm getting there. And I am NOT one to wimp out and use bipolar as an excuse for a less than stellar performance at work.

Maybe I'm just blowing sunshine up my own nose and refusing to admit I have limitations. But I'm going to try to fix this, in spite (or because) of having a psychiatric disorder......after all, living well is the best revenge. :yes:

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

Viva, I can totally understand...recognizing the triggers is an art I still struggle with...I have started catching myself when I say "I'm fine," yet my heart is jumping out of my chest like I'm about to go for a roller coaster ride because my life has produced a few triggers or just stress.

I had my last episode before I started my new job, GI upset, excessive cleaning, just downright cantankerous, swinging right into sleeping at odd hours...I didn't mind it as much, because I will do rotating shifts, so I looked at that aspect positively, and I went back on track. By the end of the week, I felt tested and recharged. I have seen a definite change in being able not just to function, but live. Still nervous about my job, but a good kind...survived the first week! One step at a time...:)

I hope that your job is not questioning your performance. I hope that it is genuine concern to rest perhaps, and recharge. Sending positive vibes in that note for your job to continue to learn understand and continue to value you. Your position of leadership can instill hope in many who may have felt alone...you may inspire and motivate many, and most management (good, bad, and indifferent) can recognize that.

We have learned to take it in stride and tweak along the way, one foot in front of the other! :)

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Thank you so much for posting this. We have identical diagnoses - Bipolar Disorder I & Adult ADD.

I'm high functioning as well, & I'm not open about it, except for a few people. I enjoy the anonymity online, perhaps a little too much. It's exhausting trying to hide a monster. Mumford & Sons sums it up nicely with a one liner in their song Lover's Eyes: "Do not ask the price I pay, for I must live with the quiet rage."

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Thank you so much for posting this. We have identical diagnoses - Bipolar Disorder I & Adult ADD.

I'm high functioning as well, & I'm not open about it, except for a few people. I enjoy the anonymity online, perhaps a little too much. It's exhausting trying to hide a monster. Mumford & Sons sums it up nicely with a one liner in their song Lover's Eyes: "Do not ask the price I pay, for I must live with the quiet rage."

I like that quote. Sometimes my rage isn't particularly quiet, but I bite back a whole lot more of it than I ever display.

Know what you mean about trying to hide a monster. Mine is called Big Ugly, and it has a way of sneaking out when I can least afford for it to do so. But it's happening less and less often now as therapy and meds smooth out the rough roads and the divots (even the steaming divots ;)).

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OK- Who is going to be the one to get involved with the Uniform Requirements for Licensure efforts by National Council State Boards of Nursing et all? Do we want a recommendation that all applicants being treated for any chronic condition bring a letter from their doctor? If everyone needed a letter about bad backs, diabetes, obesity, hypertension, migraines and other, the letters about depression, bipolar I & II, other psych disorders would just another part of the pile. Nursing Boards should be subject to the Americans with Disability Act. Some mental disorders cause disability. The vast majority do not. Nurses who are not disabled should be encouraged to work to their ability. Nobody should be afraid of being "outed". What should the requirements for a nursing license be?

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Nurses who are not disabled should be encouraged to work to their ability. Nobody should be afraid of being "outed".

THANK YOU!!! That's one of the many things we covered at my pdoc appointment yesterday. The company I work for sees me as a potential ADA case and has made special accommodations for me as far as scheduling, but take disability when my work is unaffected by my illness at least 75% of the time? Not a chance! He and I both take a dim view of going on disability for bipolar disorder when a) it's controlled with medication and therapy (as mine is) and b) most people with BP II get worse, not better, if they don't have something purposeful to do outside the home.

It's something else when one simply can NOT function in a workplace, and that does happen, especially in a field as stressful as nursing. I've said it before, if I ever get so bad that I'm fearful for my patients, I'll hang up my steth for good and go work at Costco or something.....but not work at all? Don't think so. :no:

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