Best Night shift schedule for single mom?

Erikadawn RN · Jan 10, 2011

Kids will accept generally anything if you explain it to them. I have a 8,10,13 year old. They know I am at work, while they are in bed. So I have to be in bed when I get home. Sometimes they can get loud, but I also hear them reminding each other Mommy is sleep. They generally know when I will get up, we hang out, and then I will take an evening nap after dinner. It's nothing wrong with having our children be respectful of others needs.

ky_grl82 · Jan 10, 2011

I am a single mom of a 5 year old so I know how stressed you must be about trying to find time to spend with your kiddos. What about swapping with another single parent on your floor to watch each others kids while the other person works their shift? That way your kids don't have to be alone at night and you won't have to pay someone.

evolvingrn, BSN, RN · Jan 10, 2011

well i just switched to 12 hours so im not sure how it will effect me quite yet. for me(i only work five 12's) i do 3 in a row take two days off and then work 2 more and then get 7 days off. My coworker does six in a row and then gets 8 off. Both of us are pleased thus far with how it works for us because we get a week to be normal. i have an 8 and 6 year old and am pregnant so i felt i couldn't cluster all of mine together....but honestly when i did 8 hours i did 6 or more days in a row....and sometimes one day off one day on ect.... i would MUCH rather cluster together then have constantly switching back to days and nights. Good luck. I usually come home and crash( my dh takes the kids to school) and then i pick them up from school. I lounge on the couch but hang out with them before i go back to work. having the 7 days off in a row really allows me to be there mom again. good luck

07302003, ASN, RN · Jan 10, 2011

When you're working 12 hour you're mostly gone from your kids lives, just about impossible to make dinner. Forget about laundry, school projects, homework, keeping the house neat....

SO it's great that you can work every other weekend. It would be reasonable to say, look, I work Fridays when they're with their dad, and I don't want to do Fridays the alternating week (no one likes Fridays).

Working longer than a 3 day stretch can feel like too much time away from the kids lives, (and 4 to 5 is a killer) but then again it's hard to toggle between days and nights. I would start out requesting 2 or 3 in a row and see how it works for you. You can always make a different request the following month. You may find that it works better for you to work 4 in a row and have a longer stretch off. Or that all you can get through is 2 in a row. Hopefully your management supports nurses by trying to accomodate schedule requests.

And just explain to your kids that this is what has to happen for mom to pay the bills. They should be understanding, I'm sure that you didn't have a choice about midnights. There are lots of kids who are worse off.

Just a suggestion - if you are able, sock away money in a vacation savings account every month. Taking a long (at least a week!) vacation (wherever you can afford) as a family makes it all worth it, especially for mom.

Flo., BSN, RN · Jan 10, 2011

I'm on days but where I work the whole night shift does 3 in a row. They say otherwise it is too hard flip flopping am and pm.

evolvingrn, BSN, RN · Jan 10, 2011

Just to add the other advantage to going in a row is you are more likely to get you pts back each shift....knowing my pts, having a rapport and getting that 'flow' just makes the nights go better.

AmyWorkingMom · Jan 10, 2011

Hi! When I was just out of nursing school I worked three twelves in a row, friday/sat/sunday every weekend so that I could do the stay at home mom thing during the week and give my kid some schedule-stability. However, my son was about 5 at the time so he visited his grandad on the weekends. Fifteen years, a new husband, and three more kids later I'm still doing weekend nights but about 9 years ago I was able to finesse a weekend plan out of my current position so I have fridays off but still get paid. It is a pain at times but it's a lot easier during the week.

I know you want to be a hands on mom but, as long as you feel they are trustworthy, your kids are really old enough to be moderately independent while you sleep. You could try giving them tasks (like homework or cleaning their rooms) that must be finished by the time you wake up. Your eldest should be able to watch the youngest and assist if necessary. Then you can check the homework when you wake up and still be a part of the process. As for the babysitting issue, I like the idea of swapping with a co-worker or neighbor if you don't have family nearby and need someplace for them to sleep during the week while you are at work.

Just a tip for sleeping with kids in the house- EARPLUGS and an eyemask are my dream come true.

nurse2033, MSN, RN · Jan 10, 2011

Single Dad here: If you cluster you have a better chance to sleep through the day as you will get into a rhythm. You didn't list work times or school but I can come home, take the kids to school and sleep all day when they are gone. If you need to sleep when they are home it is a good time to show them how eveyone in the family has a responsibility towards each other. My kids have learned to respect my sleep time when needed. My job keeps them in food, clothing, and shelter, and they need to understand that parents have needs too. This is vital! Get blackout curtains, ear plugs, and a fan. This will help with neighborhood noise and kid noise when they are home.