Best complaint you've heard?

[ColleenJune]

I had a second-grade girl with a history of migraines come in today and complain that she was, "...hearing colors and seeing sounds!"

[cav5]

Child- "I'm blind" (as he walks in just fine)

Me "Why"

Child "Because my substitute is the devil and I want my teacher back"

-OR-

Child- "My nose hurts"

Me "Why"

Child "I stuck an acorn up there"

Me- "Yep-that'll do it!!"

[JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN]

Child: I have a rock in my tooth.

Me (looking confused): Okay, let's take a look.

Sure enough, there was a small rock embedded in one of her lower molars.

Me: How did this happen?

Child: I was outside and wanted to know what dirt tasted like.

Yep, that might do it. It took some wiggling, but was able to get the rock out with some dental floss. Luckily, the child was otherwise unaffected by the dirt she ingested.

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

Eeeewww!

[bell1962]

an older student came into the FP office i was working in and said he breathed in a pencil.he was sucking on the end of a pencil stub, took a deep breath, and down it went! saw it on xray.. he did! surgery.. them he was fine

[Marlene39]

I had a 3rd grade girl come in and tell me she needed to use her inhaler. I had never met her before and didn't have any medications for her. She actually had no history of coming in for the years she was in school and this was in March. She said she has asthma and comes in every day to the nurse's office to use her inhaler. I told her I'd never seen her before and didn't have any medication for her. She insisted again that she comes in every day and I must have not have ever been there when she comes in (I'm the only nurse and the only one who is in the health office).

I checked her lungs and they were clear and she didn't appear to be in any distress at all. I called her teacher who told me the girl said she comes in every day at recess to use her inhaler, but the teacher had no prior knowledge of this. So, I called her mother and she said the girl doesn't have asthma and never has had any breathing problems or ever used an inhaler in her life. I swear this girl looked me straight in the face and lied outright about something she knew I could easily check! She just kept looking at me when I explained that her mother said she doesn't have asthma or use an inhaler. She just walked out the door. I never saw her again after that either. Very weird!