Being stationed together

Student4_life · Nov 17, 2010

Best bet is for her to stay a civilian, because even if she becomes a supply officer, the military is not very friendly to dual military relationships.

just_cause, BSN, RN · Nov 17, 2010

look at the major navy hospitals - that is the highest % of where you will work as a nurse (not really ship slots for nurses....) concentrated at hospitals primarily then smaller 'community' hospitals. Compare those large hospitals with major air force bases - realize that those are best case scenarios and review just how 'best case' that actually is... then realize the possibility for not-so-best scenarios and compare those with the benefits you hope to share together 20 years in the future...

deftonez188 · Nov 17, 2010

It's just such a surprise, I mean I figured if perhaps she could get into a medical enlisted position we'd be guaranteed a spot together so long as I wasn't directly supervising her.

That scenario doesn't work? She is very strong spirited (read: will not be a housewife :) ) and understands that by staying civilian and having to move around with me all of the time that finding a job would be hard even in the best of careers.

just_cause, BSN, RN · Nov 18, 2010

I'm sorry - I was interjecting and didn't understand completely. Yes in same branch navy-navy, with such a broad ranging field ie supply enlisted I think you would have very good chances.. that being said I would look into jobs that are more 'shore based jobs' as nurses won't see much 'ship' duty.. if any.... that way even beings stationed at some location that you'd perhaps also not have the enlisted spouse at sea duty for periods.

Perhaps be patient, join navy, observe lifestyle as you enter and then re-evaluate that after you both live the lifestyle and see what it would be like together dual military - as that is a different beast all together!

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Nov 18, 2010

i agree with the above posters. my husband, a former marine, told me that he experienced the navy being very hateful toward such relationships. in fact, the officer in the relationship is almost guaranteed to have his/her career destroyed. it does not matter that the two of you were married prior to your commission and prior to her enlistment.

by the way, i understand the feelings your wife has against becoming a housewife. i am the same way and have worked several jobs, volunteered, and gone back to school during my husband's military career (most of the time i was doing all three while he was deployed). take the advice of the others and wait. re-examine your circumstances after you have adjusted to navy life. in the meantime, she can work and/or find other ways to work on her career unless she can receive a commission too. gl!

deftonez188 · Nov 18, 2010

She has a bachelors in Accounting, so she's going to try for the Supply Corps as an officer. The way things are right now, even the best candidates probably have a hard time getting in.

We talked about it a bit, and if that doesn't work out, she's thinking of going back to school for a degree in careers the military needs (ex: engineering). I can see that a command's concern for a power problem might affect how we are treated (unfortunate, especially since we met as enlisted). She is also interested in the medical field, but I told her nursing wouldn't be her thing - besides, the military is supersaturated with us now and it was very hard for me to get the spot I did.

just_cause, BSN, RN · Nov 18, 2010

I don't think the impact of a married enlisted / commissioned couple is negative as previously stated - provided you were already married.. there are very real regs on this - you should inquire about them... but the essential thing is you aren't working in the same chain of command...

I still think you both would benefit from waiting.. both transitioning into the military simultaneously has a high chance of disruption to marriage, stress, and confusion where as by waiting you will have one spouse to be supportive, you will then understand your job more, understand the jobs in the area and have a better idea of your future... to each his own but i don't see the 'risk' in waiting only pushing forward with little info/perspective.

deftonez188 · Nov 18, 2010

Thank you for the advice. I've come around to 'let's wait and see', I believe like you said it'd likely be the best move initially. This is more of a planning phase, I wanted to see if our previous plan was feasible/realistic.

Deployments aren't an issue and haven't been in our past military careers, but different residences would be much harder (no worries about marriage survival, just loneliness). Deployments I found to be fun, and a great way to strengthen relationships :)