Because I'm a man...no offense intended guys:)

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a

wire long after hypothermia has set in.

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Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the

hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another

man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix

these things, but now with all these computers and

everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink a Coke.

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Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup

and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never

get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

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Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the

store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like

"cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.

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Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist

on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as

much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

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Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand

while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show

looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a

calculator).

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Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't

think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a

complete stranger? I mean, how could he know where we're going?

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Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking

about. The answer is always either sex, cars, or football. I have to make

up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

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Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother

come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more

than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't

need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

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Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.

Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

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Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you

were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.

With the belt or without it---looks fine. Your hair is fine. You

look fine. Can we just go now?

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Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2003, I will share

equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the

gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the

rest.

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This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the

Male.

[FutureRN~Pookie]

:roll This sounds like many guys I know!

Kacy

[Danamegg]

"Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you

were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.

With the belt or without it---looks fine. Your hair is fine. You

look fine. Can we just go now? "

Could they ever be right in THIS department!!! Very cute ... and that's why we love them.

[Brownms46]

I liked that one too, and it's true that most men know to try and stay away from these questions:chuckle

[donmurray]

Because I'm a man:

I get credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness,

I am not expected to know the names of more than five colours,

If another man shows up at a party in the same outfit, we may become friends,

My belly usually hides my big hips,

Car mechanics tell me the truth,

Wrinkles add character,

My underwear costs $10 for a three pack.

[2ndCareerRN]

Why Men Are Just Happier People!

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station

because this one's just too icky.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're

talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is

practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your

feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of

thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can

still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to

turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe

decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all

seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a

mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives,

on December 24, in 45 minutes.

Thank you, Thank you, I will be here through the end of the week!!

bob

[Brownms46]

:rotfl: :roll Good one, except for the mood being the same all the time! NOT TRUE:chuckle