Balance

[Tait, MSN, RN]

***I am going to break this into sections, hopefully to give a snapshot of details about my situation.***

About me

I am at a point of frustration.

My goal in nursing has always been to give the best, competent care I could give, with compassion, and attentiveness. This being said I often find myself spending a lot of time listening to my patients, helping them through tough choices, as well as administering competent care.

This part of my nursing career I don't have a problem with. I love it.

So as a nurse, I am all there for my patients, however as an employee I am fairly quiet. I have a sarcastic sense of humor (which I have learned to be very careful with), I have only a few close friends, and overall I keep to myself. I don't often ask for help, and when a task can't be completed I am more than willing to do it myself.

(I hate writing these because I know the formation of the "solitary b****" of forming in everyone's mind.)

About work

Lately, as with many facilities I am sure, there are issues r/t cutbacks etc. People are angrier at work, despite having a job. Recently we got a new manager, who for all intensive purposes, is more direct in how she wants her staff to run (otherwise she is very similar to our previous manager). Well this has of course ruffled feathers. I am glad it did. Sometimes people get so comfortable in their little routines that they don't see beyond them very often to the effects it has on other people.

On our floor our techs during the day (mind you I work nights) get (or take) three solid breaks a day. Often all the techs and the secretary will leave the floor for these breaks at the same time. Leaving 5 nurses chasing everything in addition to morning assessments/meds/patient care.

It ****** me the hell off, and I don't even work this shift. I see the ricochet of frustration, anger, and plain pure hunger from the nurses when they can't take a break until 1600 or sometimes later.

About the other dayThe other day I agreed to stay over at work for a bit. I happened to wind up in the middle of a discussion where a tech was venomous over another staff tech being listed as "a favorite" among days and nights to work with during a meeting. This said "favorite" has her issues, trust me, she is by no means perfect. However she is very "approachable". I know personally she is one of the techs I feel most secure asking for help. In fact on a good day she probably one of the only techs I feel comfortable asking for help.

Anyway, I plainly stated to the "angry tech" that I didn't mind some of the "favorite" techs flaws because I never felt like I was "walking on eggshells" with her as I often did with other techs. She then reverted to telling me that if I "respected" people more (and as a general wave to all the nurses if "we" respected people more) we wouldn't have to feel this way. I wanted to ask her "how am I supposed to respect someone if every time I politely ask them to help me they either a) Ignore me. b) Scoff at me?"

I feel this chasm and I don't know how to cross it. Some days I have the energy to buddy-buddy with everyone at work, sometimes I don't, and my fellow nurses understand this. I have been told that sometimes nurses will come up and physically touch me/say hello when I am prepping my paperwork and I don't realize they are there...at all. I wonder sometimes if I am just too into my work? Am I focusing too much on my patients and not on my co-workers? Do I have an affinity for nurses, but not for my support staff?

I know none of these questions are truly answerable on an anonymous forum with tidbits and snapshots of who I am and my life.

My question

I have had a lot of training in communication/delegation in my life and have always been a leader. My question is this:

Is it always my responsibility to make things work?

I feel like no one takes any stock in being the other half of the equation. No one cares how much time and effort you are putting into your patients, but be dammned if you don't come out of that room and offer to rubs your techs feet afterwards? Or make sure you don't interupt "movie time" on the computer?

Ugh.

Rant off.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Wow, I'm impressed with how much you've already analyzed this, and I think you know that there really is no answer to it because it's part of the culture of the workplace. Not all healthcare institutions are like that---or so I hear tell---but I've never worked in one that wasn't, and I imagine you haven't either.

The way I've made my peace with it is not to try to change the culture of the workplace itself, or even my own unit..........just my own shift. I suppose it's easier because I'm a charge nurse in LTC and have been in management previously, but I've made it clear to the people working with me that there are to be NO interpersonal and/or inter-shift rivalries. We are not there to serve our own interests, we are being paid to provide services to people who can't take care of themselves, and there is plenty to do---as far as I'm concerned, the facility owns us for the eight or so hours we are on the clock, and those hours are not to be spent gossiping about other staff members or whining about what the previous shift left undone. And no, we don't have to be buddies, but we are a TEAM and it does help if we can get along.

I think a lot of this workplace 'intrigue' would go away if everyone could grasp the concept of keeping one's work and personal lives separate. Now, I do love to joke around and have fun at work because nursing is a hard job.........why make it harder than it already is? And yes, there are co-workers who are more fun to be around than others. But I keep the line firmly drawn between my work life and my private life; for one thing, I already have friends, and for another, I HATE office politics and prefer to stay above the fray. I want to come in, do my work to the best of my ability, help keep the mood light if at all possible, and go home to my family and enjoy the other facets of my life.

That's how I avoid getting hurt, anyway. It also helps me keep a good work-life balance.

[Mahage, LPN]

***I am going to break this into sections, hopefully to give a snapshot of details about my situation.***

Is it always my responsibility to make things work?

I feel like no one takes any stock in being the other half of the equation. No one cares how much time and effort you are putting into your patients, but be dammned if you don't come out of that room and offer to rubs your techs feet afterwards? Or make sure you don't interupt "movie time" on the computer?

Ugh.

Rant off.

I hear you, but I don't just think it applies to the techs, many nurses could be covered by this too! I am not one of the socialites on our shift and since many of my friends have moved to days, I am really feeling isolated lately! Part of it may be me, I have a wierd sense of humor and a lot of the crap that is fun to my coworkers is not funny to me and vise versa I am sure. I am not interested in planning weddings, getting drunk or having babies. I am interested in a lot of other things like politics, (which I choose not to discuss at work), school, grandkids and traveling. I am a lot older than most of my coworkers and I think many of them see me as an oddity. When I share stuff I do on vacation etc. they are shocked that I enjoy those things like horseback riding, jet sking and rock concerts. I tell them "sorry I haven't taken up knitting." Other folks my age know that we don't die just because we pass 55. I mean comeon' now we are the original rockers! Most times it doesn't bother me, but sometimes I do catch some attitude. Sometimes I tell them about it, other times I address the issue in a very professional manner and keep going, sometimes I just let it slide!

I recently made a decision to get in line to go to day shift. More people my age work days and my sleep is really suffering. I also think you get more support on days as there are more techs available.

Anyhow, I know the best we can do will not make things perfect and for those of us who are not the most social of animals or who may be a little unique may always find things not completely to our liking. All in all, I love my job and have a few :yeah:great co workers along with those that are okay and the ever present jerks of course!

Mahage

[Tait, MSN, RN]

Thank you for the great responses. I actually took sometime out tonight and talked to a few of the techs on our shift and it was a really good time. Found out that things on days are a lot different from our little world on nights.

Tait

[BradleyRN]

In LTC, i was the charge nurse, and the CNA's worked for me. I always explained the reasons behind my asking them to do anything, so that they would know there was a logic behind my requests. In the event that they still refused however, i simply stated that i was their boss, and they had to do it. That sounds harsh maybe, so let me give an example. I once had a patient with dementia that had wet herself. I told her i would have someone with her immediately. I told the aide to see her next, and the aide refused and said it wasnt fair to the other patients. I explained that this patient was a fall risk and likely to try and get out of bed, which was not the case with the patient he wanted to see next. He still refused in the face of this logic so i told him it was not an option, and of course he did what i said.

At my next job in a hospital, there was a nurse mgr on the floor, so i wasnt necessarily in charge of my techs. As a result, i found myself often doing tasks they should have already completed, while barely having enough time to do my own job. The techs, on the other hand, spent lots of time on the internet shopping and surfing. There were moments where some techs tried to get huffy over a request, and i handled it, but i certainly never felt comfortable with their work ethic nor my lack of authority to ensure that they did their jobs. They are lucky to be in a hospital rather than a nursing home where there would be no time to play on the internet, and no internet to play on. I dont care what people do with their down time, so long as they complete their job, but i believe nurses should always have the role of supervisor over the techs, and assert that role. Just because i didnt need to be told what to do when i was a CNA doesnt mean that that applies to everyone. Those techs that all leave together on your dayshift are a prime example.