At a fork in the road...need your wisdom

[RunHard]

First let me say how happy I am to have found this place. What a great resource. I have been reading through past posts for the last three days (I'm on page 35) and have finally decided to post. Everyone seems really supportive, and honest.

I have just started a BSN program this fall. I was excited, nervous, anxious, and proud. At orientation I was happy to see that what I was feeling was right along the same lines as everyone else. However, when classes got started I sensed what I was feeling wasn't quite the same as everyone else. The others were nervous, and anxious because they were starting something new that was foreign to them. While that thought was running through my mind I was more nervous that I had made a mistake. The more classes that we got through the more I was getting scared, and it is really looking like I'm not going to love this nursing thing.

I always knew I wanted to go into the health care field. I had essentially narrowed it down to PT (or PTA) and nursing. I went with nursing because of the wide variety of areas to go into (including the option of masters and doctorate programs), job security, pay isn't half bad, I love knowing how things work, why they break, how to fix them, and usually I have a good way with people. I'm pretty laid back, can be kind of emotional (I tend to take things personally sometimes), and fairly shy. I'm confident that I could work through those things and make some of them work in my favor even but I'm not sure if the feeling of "not liking" nursing will pass after I graduate and I'm able to find somewhere I fit in (if I'm able to find somewhere to fit in).

I'm starting to think I should have done PT in some capacity. Job outlook isn't too bad for PT or a PTA. Pay isn't the same, but that isn't my main concern. All work can be stressful, and no job can boast having 100% satisfaction. It seems that PT/PTA would not be as stressful (does that make some sense)?

There are so many possibilities with nursing, which I love. I'm just not sure if I'd be able to handle going through NS (with certain things that I'm not loving) and then have a job for a few years that I don't like either just to get into a different specialty area or apply to a masters program. Has anyone really disliked what NS was and then ended up loving nursing after graduation?

Wow this got really long, sorry.... but thanks for having this place.

[Jules A, MSN]

Hi,

Can you be specific about what it is that you don't like about nursing school? After reading your post you really sound like you would make a great nurse although 4 years of a BSN program is a very, very long time if you are miserable. That was one of the reasons I decided to do my LPN first, I knew I could get through one year of anything, lol. I can remember being in tears by the end of the third day of NS, what a culture shock. If you are really sure it isn't your cup of tea there isn't any shame in changing majors. How tough is it to get into a PT program in your area? Good luck with whatever you decide.

Jules

[texasbsn]

Hi ,I think you should listen to your gut feeling.if you do not like nursing it will be hard I think to work as a nurse if you do not like it.good luck in you future!:redpinkhe

[RunHard]

It's a BSN program but I've already completed the first two years (the pre-reqs and stuff) so I'm in the nursing program and have two years left (sorry should have made that more clear). I'm not sure what exactly it is that I'm not like about it. Something just doesn't feel right.

I know that after reading and hearing from other nurses what they don't like about nursing makes me nervous. I don't like bedside. I feel that's okay, but the idea of having to do it for several years to get the experience makes me nervous. I don't know if I'd last that long and not drive everyone around me crazy. It takes a really special and wonderful person to be a nurse, and honestly I'm not sure if I can live up to that. Burnout concerns me, and being too stressed out. I still like the idea of nursing, but I just don't think I'd be happy with it. Anyone hate NS and then love nursing?

PT school isn't the easiest to get into. A doctorate in PT is needed to practice (actually I think it might be a masters but many are moving to the DPT route). They aren't the easiest to get into but I have nothing below a B. PTA school is only a two year degree (so that's a quicker route).

[Jules A, MSN]

I hated nursing school and the thought of having to put in one second more than my school's clinical requirements at a hospital bedside makes me want to slit my wrists. How's that?

Is there an area of nursing that you think might interest you if you can get through the next two years in school?

[RunHard]

I hated nursing school and the thought of having to put in one second more than my school's clinical requirements at a hospital bedside makes me want to slit my wrists. How's that?

Is there an area of nursing that you think might interest you if you can get through the next two years in school?

:chuckle:chuckle Well you certainly made me laugh at that one. It felt good. I think I would like to possibly try to become a nurse anesthetist, possibly the OR, maybe research in some capacity. I just wonder if the stress or burnout would get me first, before I even have a chance to continue schooling or find a different area to work in. Not to mention I still have to get through the clinicals at school. I know that communication, and having a good bedside manner is imperative to being a quality nurse. I think I do well with people, and communicate well, but just don't want to do bedside nursing. Does that make some sense?

[Jules A, MSN]

Glad I could make you laugh. :) I also thought the OR would be a good place to work. Even from the start when I didn't have a clue what I would like I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be working medsurg. You never know for sure so if you decide to continue with NS keep an open mind. I'm doing pediatric psych right now but am continuing with my education so that when I get too old to wrestle the little ones out on the unit I can either teach or work in a therapist capacity because I really love pediatric psych.

I'm not sure I'd be that worried about burn out prior to even graduating. My thoughts are that I will do nursing for as long as I love it and stay at my current facility for as long as I like my co-workers and DON. When there comes a time that I no longer enjoy going to work I will make some changes. The beauty of nursing is that there are so many options. If I'm done with nursing I will work on finding another career. Its like a mortgage, you don't have to stay there the entire 15 or 30 years.

[RunHard]

What is it about psych that you like? Sounds interesting.

I guess with the burnout I worry because I stress more easily then others. I'm not sure if I have the back bone and thick skin.

[Jules A, MSN]

To me psych is an artistic speciality. I really like the things the mind can do and even the malfunctions it can have. There is something very intimate about reading and adatping my care based on their backgrounds and family histories. These kids are amazing in their resilience despite being so short-changed in this lifetime. My shifts always go fast even when they are not much more than familiar chaos. Having a child run up, grab my hand and ask if I will be her nurse that day just warms my heart. Blood and spit isn't a problem for me but I'm not too proud to admit that the rare poop exposure is a plus also.

Check out the specialty forum here you might find something interesting.

[Indy, LPN, LVN]

You're in the nursing classes now. Dropping at this point would still leave a vacant spot that you worked for and they have to wait to fill. So I'd advise you to stick it out a bit and pay attention to some things during clinicals. Yes, it's stressful and you have all this care plan stuff to do, besides having to appear perfect to the patients, the instructors and the nurses and techs at the clinical sites. But even through that you can get a sense - not a totally accurate one, but an idea- of what nursing work is like. Let me tell you, the nursing job is very little like going through school. It's harder work in some ways, less difficult in others. Like, you will spend so much brain power on care planning that when you work, it'll seem easier not having to crank out a 30 page referenced paper on what you do for the patients. But, when you go through school, you may not kill your feet and yank your back the way you can while working the floors.

The talents you have now, before you become a nurse, will affect how you work, how you interact with patients and handle the load, when you become a nurse. This is not readily apparent while you're in school. If you're a good passive negotiator and can make others do your will, thinking it was their idea, wow. That's quite a talent, but in school you aren't calling the doctor at 4 am with subtle signs and a big bad hunch that things aren't right; you aren't spending all your spare time trying to talk demented people into "drinking the milkshake" that has all the crushed meds in it and tastes like pure crap... so an instructor might see your abilities differently. You might be one who learns by doing and comes across as needing handholding on procedures in school, but when you work you wind up being someone who has only to be shown how to do things once, and who can readily show others how to manage the little things, those little things that can eat all your time.

So my advice is a lot longer than I thought it would be. 1. Give yourself a chance to form a more well-rounded opinion before you quit just yet. 2. Recognize your talents (perhaps google a myers-brigg personality test and investigate your learning style) and make your talents work for you. 3. Don't be fooled by the warped reality that is nursing school.

While you go through different types of units, and see different types of patients, in your clinicals, pay attention to these things: staffing, attitudes, form of giving report, how the nurses organize their loads, and make notes on what appeals to you. What type of unit could you see yourself possibly working on? Do you see anyone with whom you'd like to work and learn from? What types of patients are you comfortable with, or could you be comfortable with?

My first day of clinical, I ran into the wrong end of an instructor (not my instructor... long story!) and went home feeling like the wrong end of a horse. I let that incident color my confidence and narrowly missed being failed out of school, until two quarters later. My instructor (not the same one, we had a lot of them) reminded me in the hall outside a patient's room not to call the patient "honey." So we were in the room and I spoke professionally, did my things right, etc. The patient looked up at me, grinned this huge grin, and said "Okay HONEY." It made my whole week. I began to relax a little bit and realize that I wasn't going to please everyone, but patients would occasionally appreciate my effort, and the ability to connect with another human being while getting the job tasks done, made me happy. Not ecstatic but content happy, in that sappy johnson and johnson commercial with the stupid song happy. Up until that time, if I'd failed out or done something else, it would have been - not good, but something I could rationalize as "nursing wasn't for me." After that day I couldn't see myself wanting to be anything else, and it seemed to be a little easier for me. Quite a few of my classmates had similar times when they just seemed to "click" with a particular aspect of nursing, and it's a joy to see.

I'm sorry I rambled on, but I hope that helps.

[TakeTwoAspirin, MSN, RN, APRN]

I am going to take a rough guess and say that you sound like a more "mature student". I truly think that as we get older, we are certainly more aware of our limitations and possibly have more anxiety than some of the younger bucks might have. I say have courage, keep going. One day your capacity for introspection may just save a life.

[RunHard]

Indy, no not rambling at all. I haven't quit yet not quite at that point, but felt that is where I might be heading. I seem to pick things up quite quickly. Much to the dismay of some classmates who are loving nursing, and then the gal who isn't even sure if she wants to continue is having such an easy time.

I did talk with an instructor about how I was feeling and she recommended a career test. I did take it at the school and nursing was up there as a recommended match. I guess while I seem to be doing well I'm just not sure if doing it well will be enough to keep me happy. Your response wasn't too long at all and informative. Thank you.

Jules, I will definitely look at some of the other specific forums as well. Thank you agian very much.