Assertiveness

[11joinson]

Hi I'm a final year student studying in London. I've always had a hard time with assertiveness. Saying no is extremely difficult, especially when crossing paths with difficult people. My question is, does assertiveness come with position and seniority? Not entirely of course but at least a bit? For example becoming a nurse manager, would people naturally not give as much of a hard time and would the position give you that natural confidence? Assertiveness just doesn't seem to be in my personality, or any type of conflict. Any general advice as well as answers/ideas to my question would be much appreciated.

J

[RNperdiem, RN]

I am not naturally assertive either. Gaining experience and confidence in your nursing judgement does help, especially when dealing with doctors.

Sometimes you just have to get tough with yourself and remind yourself that you are the patient advocate. The patient is depending on you to be assertive for them. Keep the focus on what is best for your patient.

Assertiveness is a skill that you get better using when you practice.

[Seaofclouds, BSN, RN]

Assertiveness can develop over time, but it will not come automatically with a specific position. I had more challenges from staff as a manager than I ever did as a floor nurse and even as a charge nurse. If you go into a management position without confidence, your staff will know it and will take advantage of it.

Take time to develop your nursing skills and work on being assertive. Time and practice are the only things that are going to help make it natural for you.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I'm not naturally assertive either but I'm getting better at it. I believe it comes with time for me. Some people are born with it or you have to develop it.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

I agree with the PP. Assertiveness comes with experience, not with position. In fact, I think taking on a managerial position would require more assertiveness on your part because more folks will be challenging you daily.

Experience is the key. Some folks need more experience than others to feel confidence in themselves.

[scottaprn]

For any learned skill find the expert.

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are | Talk Video | TED.com

Amy Cuddy's TED talk has over 25 million views.

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

Assertiveness can be learned with maturity and experience. Knowing how and when to be assertive is essential. Emotional intelligence goes hand in hand here......knowing how to pick your battles and phrase ideas in such a way that avoids conflict.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

First off, how very exciting you are studying in London!! That is the most awesome place to be!

I am not sure if you are a citizen of the UK, or an American. I say this because I believe culturally, the UK is taught that manners are of upmost importance in any professional (and personal) communication. That is a nice thing to have in the US, however, it seems to not be a priority as it seems to be in the UK.

So, you can be polite and you can be assertive to the point of being heard. It takes time, experience, and maturity in your role as a nurse. You can build a nursing character, a strong practice, and a solid reputation in how you present yourself, how you handle yourself, and how you practice in any given position.

If you have the opportunity to take a leadership class (and most nursing programs have that as part of their curriculum) and to take a class in conflict management and resolution, do so.

Interestingly, the nurses who say that they do not "like" conflict and equate that to not being assertive, are usually the ones who do really well with conflict management and intervention--as in their avoidance of the whole thing, they learn coping skills and communication strategies that become very useful.

Best wishes to you in your education!

[cocoa_puff]

I'm really quiet and try to avoid conflict/drama, but I can be assertive if I need to be. Assertiveness and confidence come with experience and practice. By the way, I would love to be studying in London!! :)