I had a dispute with a coworker and could not settle it so I utilized the chain of command and talked to my supervisor about it. When I went back to talk to the coworker, looking for resolve, she told me that my actions were aggressive toward her and she was angry.
Is this seen as aggression? I have never done it before, but I really felt that I was more assertive, than aggressive.
Is their some "rule" about this type of thing that I am not aware of?
I work at a hospital and I also had 4 weeks of clinical there, on the same floor that I work on as a nursing assistant. I arrived at clinical and was waiting for report to start when my co-worker informed that my patient (assigned to her) was to be in endo by 0715 and that I needed to get her ready to go. I told her that I couldn't do it at that time because I had not received report yet and I didn't feel comfortable. I knew nothing about the patient except sex and age. My instructor had not arrived yet.
She blasted me infront of my classmates and other staff- "you want to be a nurse, well this is how the real world is, you don't get to do everything your way and whenever you want to!"
I told her that it was only because my instructors had informed me that taking report was "legally taking responsibility for the patient" and I had not done so, but she was too angry to listen. I did check the consent forms, hang the secondary line and transfer the patient and take her to the holding room, just so she would stop talking about me to everyone who would listen and missed report anyway. Next I went to her and I asked to speak to her in private and she refused, so I went to my supervisor
(hers too) and I told her that while I am a student I want to be treated like one and she should not take the liberty to treat me that way because I work their as an NA and we are familiar with each other.
I waited a few days, until we were working together again and I asked a second time to talk to her about what had happened and she told me that I'm aggressive and she is angry about it and will not speak to me unless it is work related.
Gator
I would not say you were agressive, but I woud say she was a real..we are not allowed to cuss on this board are we? Well you get what I am saying. You handled yourself well. I would like to congradulate you . Do you know what kind of car she drives? Just kidding.
I work at a hospital and I also had 4 weeks of clinical there, on the same floor that I work on as a nursing assistant. I arrived at clinical and was waiting for report to start when my co-worker informed that my patient (assigned to her) was to be in endo by 0715 and that I needed to get her ready to go. I told her that I couldn't do it at that time because I had not received report yet and I didn't feel comfortable. I knew nothing about the patient except sex and age. My instructor had not arrived yet.
She blasted me infront of my classmates and other staff- "you want to be a nurse, well this is how the real world is, you don't get to do everything your way and whenever you want to!"
I told her that it was only because my instructors had informed me that taking report was "legally taking responsibility for the patient" and I had not done so, but she was too angry to listen. I did check the consent forms, hang the secondary line and transfer the patient and take her to the holding room, just so she would stop talking about me to everyone who would listen and missed report anyway. Next I went to her and I asked to speak to her in private and she refused, so I went to my supervisor
(hers too) and I told her that while I am a student I want to be treated like one and she should not take the liberty to treat me that way because I work their as an NA and we are familiar with each other.
I waited a few days, until we were working together again and I asked a second time to talk to her about what had happened and she told me that I'm aggressive and she is angry about it and will not speak to me unless it is work related.
Gator
I would not say you were agressive, but I woud say she was a real..we are not allowed to cuss on this board are we? Well you get what I am saying. You handled yourself well. I would like to congradulate you . Do you know what kind of car she drives? Just kidding.
I think you acted very professionally,,unlike the other nurse who sounded very aggressive...hats off to ya..take this as a valuable lesson that you will have to draw upon in the future...people will poo-poo(see i didn't cuss..lol) on you if you let them...you stood your ground and handled yourself like a champ...bravoooooo for u :)
I think you acted very professionally,,unlike the other nurse who sounded very aggressive...hats off to ya..take this as a valuable lesson that you will have to draw upon in the future...people will poo-poo(see i didn't cuss..lol) on you if you let them...you stood your ground and handled yourself like a champ...bravoooooo for u :)
Specializes in med/surg, cardiac/telemetry, hospice.
Gator, I feel for ya'. Sounds to me like you were being assertive, and she was being aggressive. A simple rule of thumb to distinguish between the two: Aggressive involves an attack, whether verbal or physical. Verbally it is characterised by "you" words, like "You so-and-so, you better do such-and-such." Assertiveness is confidently expressing your needs. Verbally it is characterised by "I" words: "I don't feel comfortable with this. I need to talk to my instructor. I feel like I'm being pressured." Etc. It may sound PC, but I learned my assertiveness techniques from a book from the '70's called "When I Say NO, I Feel Guilty." What an eye-opener! It deals with everything from telemarketers to aggressive people. Sounds like your coworker could use a copy.
And for the record, in my hospital if a patient is due for a procedure before 0730, it is the responsibility of the night nurse to see they are ready. Yes, in "real life" you will sometimes walk in on situations before report is received, but as a student, it was pretty unfair of her to expect you to jump in unprepared.
Specializes in med/surg, cardiac/telemetry, hospice.
Gator, I feel for ya'. Sounds to me like you were being assertive, and she was being aggressive. A simple rule of thumb to distinguish between the two: Aggressive involves an attack, whether verbal or physical. Verbally it is characterised by "you" words, like "You so-and-so, you better do such-and-such." Assertiveness is confidently expressing your needs. Verbally it is characterised by "I" words: "I don't feel comfortable with this. I need to talk to my instructor. I feel like I'm being pressured." Etc. It may sound PC, but I learned my assertiveness techniques from a book from the '70's called "When I Say NO, I Feel Guilty." What an eye-opener! It deals with everything from telemarketers to aggressive people. Sounds like your coworker could use a copy.
And for the record, in my hospital if a patient is due for a procedure before 0730, it is the responsibility of the night nurse to see they are ready. Yes, in "real life" you will sometimes walk in on situations before report is received, but as a student, it was pretty unfair of her to expect you to jump in unprepared.
From what I read....you were being very assertive. That's what I would do...attempt to talk with the person. If she wasn't willing to talk with me...the next step would be the supervisor.
From what I read....you were being very assertive. That's what I would do...attempt to talk with the person. If she wasn't willing to talk with me...the next step would be the supervisor.
I get along very well with my coworkers. There was one nurse, however, that spoke down to other staff members and would always yell & say humiliating things to others. Many times I would call her on it, in private -- was respectfully ASSERTIVE -- but nothing changed. Management spoke to her as she had many complaints about her attitude. Excellent nurse -- absolutely. People skills -- nada.
One day, she started in on me during report -- this time I was respectively AGGRESSIVE -- in front of everyone -- and told her never to speak to me in that manner again. Basically, who did she think she was talking to me in that mannner -- I was sick of it and she was never to speak to me again in an insulting manner. Everyone's jaw dropped -- I'm one of the kindest, most supportive nurses on that floor -- but I HAD HAD IT -- and I was AGGRESSIVE. It never happened again. She's since moved on. I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated, I believe in professionalism and respectful behavior -- but enough is enough -- I'm nobody's doormat.
I get along very well with my coworkers. There was one nurse, however, that spoke down to other staff members and would always yell & say humiliating things to others. Many times I would call her on it, in private -- was respectfully ASSERTIVE -- but nothing changed. Management spoke to her as she had many complaints about her attitude. Excellent nurse -- absolutely. People skills -- nada.
One day, she started in on me during report -- this time I was respectively AGGRESSIVE -- in front of everyone -- and told her never to speak to me in that manner again. Basically, who did she think she was talking to me in that mannner -- I was sick of it and she was never to speak to me again in an insulting manner. Everyone's jaw dropped -- I'm one of the kindest, most supportive nurses on that floor -- but I HAD HAD IT -- and I was AGGRESSIVE. It never happened again. She's since moved on. I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated, I believe in professionalism and respectful behavior -- but enough is enough -- I'm nobody's doormat.
nurse2002
147 Posts
I would not say you were agressive, but I woud say she was a real..we are not allowed to cuss on this board are we? Well you get what I am saying. You handled yourself well. I would like to congradulate you . Do you know what kind of car she drives? Just kidding.