Are Your End-of-Life Wishes Clear?

NursesRmofun, ASN, RN · Apr 9, 2005

I HAVE to get that HCP made out! So, I said, No." But Hubby knows what I want and don't want.

paytonsnana · May 10, 2005

I have everything spelled out right down to the person(persons) that get to pull the plug and/or watch me take my last breath. Every member of my family and some friends have a copy. Giving every one that is involved a copy, truly lets me have the last word. I am in my late 50's and I don't ever think I have had the last, final word on anything. :coollook: :chuckle :rotfl:

soontobe_RN · May 11, 2005

Well, I haven't done anything in writing, yet. However, my wishes are pretty clear to my family.

If I am to go before my father, my husband is to take care of him any way he needs to. You see my father has raised me ever since I was 2y/o by himself. Over the years he has experianced many tragic events that have left him with nothing. When my husband and I married we talked about the fact that someday, I am going to need to take care of my dad. My husaband loves my dad as if he was his own. So, it was never an issue.

Of course everything that I have; money, material items, anything, will go to my husband and then our two sons.

As far as any debt is concerned, I try to make sure I have the insurance thing, that if I was to die, my debts would be dropped, and my dear family will never have to worry about them.

The one thing that my husband and I do have in writing is that if anything was to ever happen to the both of us, my aunt and uncle would get our children. This way there would never be any legal battle for our kids by either one of our families. We thought good and hard about this when we had it written out. We actually had it done right before our first son was born in 2000. The reason being, my husbands family are not very good people and my husband, mainly, wanted to make sure that his children never go through what he did as a child.

Now, when it comes to where I want to be buried or if I want to be buried at all, I don't have a clue about. My husband does have life insurance for all of us through his work. However, that is as far as it goes.

I have to admit, that was an interesting poll!!!! It got me thinking!!

Jennifer

judy ann · May 11, 2005

Well, I haven't done anything in writing, yet. However, my wishes are pretty clear to my family.
If I am to go before my father, my husband is to take care of him any way he needs to. You see my father has raised me ever since I was 2y/o by himself. Over the years he has experianced many tragic events that have left him with nothing. When my husband and I married we talked about the fact that someday, I am going to need to take care of my dad. My husaband loves my dad as if he was his own. So, it was never an issue.
Of course everything that I have; money, material items, anything, will go to my husband and then our two sons.
As far as any debt is concerned, I try to make sure I have the insurance thing, that if I was to die, my debts would be dropped, and my dear family will never have to worry about them.
The one thing that my husband and I do have in writing is that if anything was to ever happen to the both of us, my aunt and uncle would get our children. This way there would never be any legal battle for our kids by either one of our families. We thought good and hard about this when we had it written out. We actually had it done right before our first son was born in 2000. The reason being, my husbands family are not very good people and my husband, mainly, wanted to make sure that his children never go through what he did as a child.
Now, when it comes to where I want to be buried or if I want to be buried at all, I don't have a clue about. My husband does have life insurance for all of us through his work. However, that is as far as it goes.
I have to admit, that was an interesting poll!!!! It got me thinking!!
Jennifer

Soon to be---Please look into medical durable power of attorney, and a living will. These have NOTHING to do with what happens to your things, or children or anything else like that. These are the legal forms that give power for another to make decisions for you that involve your medical care if you are unable to make those for yourself (coma, etc) These are nearly free. You can access them on the web. They only require you to fill in the blanks with your desires and have them notorized. This could have saved a lot of trouble in Georgia lately. Your father, especially should look into this because of his involved situation with direct family members, especially if you aren't there. Just telling people is not enough.

You should see that your attending physician as well as all that are involve in the proposed decision making have a copy of these forms.

My living will ends with "If He is calling, get out of my way." :saint:

soontobe_RN · May 11, 2005

Soon to be---Please look into medical durable power of attorney, and a living will. These have NOTHING to do with what happens to your things, or children or anything else like that. These are the legal forms that give power for another to make decisions for you that involve your medical care if you are unable to make those for yourself (coma, etc) These are nearly free. You can access them on the web. They only require you to fill in the blanks with your desires and have them notorized. This could have saved a lot of trouble in Georgia lately. Your father, especially should look into this because of his involved situation with direct family members, especially if you aren't there. Just telling people is not enough.
You should see that your attending physician as well as all that are involve in the proposed decision making have a copy of these forms.
My living will ends with "If He is calling, get out of my way."

Judy Ann, Thanks for the advice. Do you know of any good websites where I can get this information? If you do, please send me a private message with the details.

Thanks again!

Jennifer

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · May 15, 2005

I want a big celebration with food and lively music and reading of my poetry that I write. I'm allergic to pollen, so don't send flowers to the celebration for me. :chuckle If you didn't send me flowers when I was alive, or bother to call or visit while I was breathing, please continue NOT showing up when I'm gone from this earth. Shed no sad tears and sing no sad songs for me because I can't hear ya anyway when I'm gone. :rotfl:

Me too girlfriend. The more the merrier. They can even drink the hard stuff if they want to. I won't mind. Heh, they wouldn't hear me anyway. But my Laurel, who is my Power of Attorney told me they would play my impromptu speech about Weight Watchers for the crowd to show them my funny side. The Weight Watchers leader thought I was playing Tracey Ullman, but I told her I didn't even know who Tracey Ullman was.

martinb216 · May 22, 2005

no but having read this topic has made me think it is somrthing to sort out pdq:uhoh21:

grinnurse, RN · May 26, 2005

Interesting to see how many nurses have their business in order for times such as these. In NS this past semester we had to do our own MPA for a grade. I have always talked about things like these with my husband and mother, especially since NS to give them piece of mind.

I have my husband listed as the person to make all the final decisions in accordance with my wishes. There is a neat little program that came with my computer that more or less has it to where you can plan your own funeral all the way down to the music. I did this as well. I will be buying a burial plot for myself as well after student loans get taken care of. I am like, the less they have to do the better off they will be in these regards.

Nothing too fancy planned. Just something simple but no "sappy" music. At my brother's and sister's funerals I took care of the music b/c neither of them were too much into gospel music, not that they didn't believe in God, but you know what I mean. For my brother I played lots of southern rock by Lynrd Skynrd which he loved, CCR, ZZ Top and the likes. For my sister, she was a huge Elton John fan so I played Elton, Billy Joel, Eagles etc.......a little Mo town music too!! I know that they would have been pleased with that aspect of the whole thing. Not much else I could do at that point but send them off with some good tunes.

I would rather people view my death as my "new" beginning rather than an ending. I want the ones that I leave behind to have a party cause I sure intend to when I get to where ever it is that I end up!! As long as I have a paint brush, paints, and an empty canvas I am good to go!!

lpnstudentin2010, LPN · Jun 2, 2005

I am only 17 so I do not think in Mass I can yet but as soon as I turn 18 I will.

rnparrot · Jun 6, 2005

Yep - living will, organ donor card, have told my spouse and family exactly what i want and do not want. Picked my favorite Jimmy Buffet song for when they throw my ashes into the ocean...BUT...I am not ready yet!

I too have told my family my wishes, and i want jimmy buffett music played at my funeral...want a stuffed parrot and all to go with me! curious, whats your favorite jb song? :Melody:

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Jun 16, 2005

No, never touched the subject. :uhoh21: