I work in an assisted living facility. I've worked there for only about half a year. I've got two patients: a husband and wife who lived in an apartment together. On the shift 3 days ago, the husband began to decline. yesterday, I came back into work and he was actively dying. I was the only nurse to truly take care of he, and his family, during his decline (we don't have a 3rd shift nurse, because we are assisted living and he really got bad over night). So as soon as I got in, even though I was off the clock, I medicated him immediately. Unfortunately he wasn't able to take mess PO anymore, so I had to give oxycodone rectally and the Ativan sublingually (due to its ability to dissolve easily), per his hospice nurses directions. I was doing my best to get liquid morphine for him all day. I hounded the doctor until he wrote the prescription and sent it right away. And called the pharmacy as soon as he sent it to make sure that would send it out IMMEDIATELY. Unfortunately pharmacy is 3 1/2 hours away and have no back ups. So I had to medicate him rectally and sublingually until they could deliver. All day I checked up on the family, especially his wife because she is my patient is was struggling tremendously with the pending loss. I made sure I was in the room every 2 hours, on the dot, to medicate him and make him as comfortable as possible. When my lunch break came I chose to sit with the family instead. Lots of tears lots of hugs. When the family stepped out I sat with his wife so she wouldn't be alone in her time of grief. At the end of my shift, the family called down in a panic. I felt for a pulse, listened for respirations. He was gone. They all hugged me telling me how thankful they were and how I was a great nurse. (I am a new nurse. I'm only 22. So I think they were surprised with how empathetic I was). This is why I became a nurse. I was to help people. And although this situation made me incredibly sad, I feel honored to have been there when this wonderful man left the world. And I feel honored to have been there for this lovely family in their time of need. My question is, is it appropriate to go to the funeral? When my grandfather passed, all of the nurses came and my mom was very touched.
Specializes in CNS Pediatric Surgery, now retired.
I've asked myself multiple times if I should go. I've gone to two funerals. Once for a patient that I took care of multiple times, and once performed CPR on him in an elevator with his mother at his side. When he passed a few years after that code his mother asked me to be a paul bearer for his funeral. The entire family was very nice and so happy with the care that they had received. The second time I went for a patient becasue his wife asked me too. While there I was told, by his children, that I let him die. Never going back to another one.
Flyboy,
Since your patient's wife asked you to attend the funeral, she did not think you "let him die". It sounds like his children were not ready to let him go. A family will talk about their loved one's death and funeral. His children probably changed their minds after subsequent conversations with their mother.
My uncle was a long-time cardiac pt; CHF, A-Fib, artificial valve, COPD, coumadin, pacemaker, etc. He died after being in the CCU for 9 weeks (completely non-cardiac related, his colon ruptured after an exploratory surgery failed to notice the bad spot on his colon). Not only did the lead nurse of his cardio office attend, so did his main cardiologist and three of the CCU nurses who only had him for that 9-week period. It meant a LOT to my family to see that the nurses cared so much and went out of their way to the viewing. They weren't at the funeral itself but did attend the viewing and give their condolences to his wife and sons. My aunt sent a heartfelt thank you card and fruit basket to the cardio office afterward, not only for the compassion at the viewing but also for the care he received all those years. She also wrote a letter to the nurse manager and gave glowing reviews on the pt satisfaction score citing their compassion and excellent care.
dizzygatorrn
26 Posts
Flyboy,
Since your patient's wife asked you to attend the funeral, she did not think you "let him die". It sounds like his children were not ready to let him go. A family will talk about their loved one's death and funeral. His children probably changed their minds after subsequent conversations with their mother.