Anyone ever get off "the" List?!

Valerie Salva, BSN, RN · Oct 24, 2008

My opinion is that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you seem to be having toubles with every manager you come in contact, take a step back and try to figure out what YOU can change to make this not happen. If you have had numerous issues and job changes due to management, maybe its you. Maybe youre not the best fit for the units you are working on, or maybe your personality is a bit quirky or abrasive. I am not trying to criticize you but just reminding you that you can't do anything about anyone else's behavior but your own. You can take it in stride and try to find a supportive unit or try to fix some behaviors of your own that could cause you to be unlikable by management or your co-workers.

I felt from reading this post, the poster had not been a nurse for very long.

When I looked beneath the poster's name- sure enough- one year of experience.

I have seen many wonderful nurses and CNAs treated badly over the years. I think this most often happens with staff who are not assertive enough- not the ones who are aggressive or abrasive.

I have seen that most times, it's the caring, diligent, hard-working nurse who is pooped on by mgmt and co-workers.

Contrary to the general perception, I don't think that nursing "eats" its' young- it eats the good ones.

flg8tr · Oct 24, 2008

Never really been on a manager's "*-list" as you put it, but the problem you describe is easy to solve. We are fortunate to have an occupation that is in insanely high demand. Why care and get all upset if one unit, hospital or even city doesn't work out? Any RN with a clean record can get dozens of job offers within days of applying. So my recommendation is to never take $%# from anyone at any hospital. If they can't appreciate the hard work you do, go somewhere else and make sure to score a hefty sign-on bonus as well.

Good luck!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 24, 2008

I'm not interested in being blamed for the situation, had professional careers prior to nursing. I am interested in responses to my question. Appreciate all responses trying to help without attacking me.

I know you're a grown person, have had careers before and are interested in getting help.

However, my question is this: how many times has this happened. If it seems to be happening over and over, perhaps rather than blaming nursing, you are indeed going to have to look at yourself and how you interact in this career and how is it that you get placed on the "list" in the first place. Only you can answer this by looking honestly at yourself. If you can honestly look in the mirror and be blameless and stellar then keep moving on.

There are no perfect management systems. I find myself being frustrated with middle managers and upper managers sometimes myself.

How I stay off the list is to "respect the title". I have to understand that regardless of how I feel about them personally they are the boss. The other day my manager called me about something that I felt she was being unreasonable about and was way off base. I in no uncertain terms told her how angry I was, and the end of the conversation I cut her off and just hung up. In order not to stay on her bad side or on a "list", I had to eat a little crow and apologize for being so rude. I ended with "you're the boss and I have to respect that, and do things your way".

I have to learn when to fight, when to give in, and what battles are worth choosing, and no my place in the hierarachy of things. Manager's have feelings too.

stormforce · Oct 24, 2008

We all know the horrible conditions many nurses work in, with numerous lying, gossipping, backstabbing, lazy coworkers and inept managers who can't tell who the good staff are. (My apologies to those few environments where teamwork and good managers actually exist.) Has anyone ever gotten on the manager's **** list, and been able to get off? I've gotten off temporarily, but it always eventually leads to me being out the door and on another job search, hoping next time I'll find a good situation. If anyone has ever been able to make a comeback and survive such a setup, would you please share what worked to overcome their misperception of you?

I guess it depends on why you are on that list in the first place, what perceptions does the manager have of you to put you in the position that you have found yourself in, is it possible that there is something that you have been doing that has formed these perceptions and if so is there something you can do about it. Is there a pattern to the reason / problems or are they different reasons every time? (I am not sure how many managers / jobs you have had a problem with)

If there is a pattern then maybe even though it may go against the grain you need to adapt what you are doing to try to meet the expectations of the managers, or is it that you have just been unfortunate in where you have worked and found that you have struggled because of unrealistic organisational expectations?

To be honest without specifics it is difficult to give any good constructive advice, there are so many possibilities we can only make guesses.

Valerie Salva, BSN, RN · Oct 24, 2008

Never really been on a manager's "*-list" as you put it, but the problem you describe is easy to solve. We are fortunate to have an occupation that is in insanely high demand. Why care and get all upset if one unit, hospital or even city doesn't work out? Any RN with a clean record can get dozens of job offers within days of applying. So my recommendation is to never take $%# from anyone at any hospital. If they can't appreciate the hard work you do, go somewhere else and make sure to score a hefty sign-on bonus as well.
Good luck!

Please be aware that nursing is not in high demand everywhere. In some areas of the US, there are too many nurses, and nurses find it very difficult to get a job. In these situations, employers often take atvantage and treat nurses badly, as well as paying them low wages.

mpccrn, BSN, RN · Oct 24, 2008

it has been my experience that once on the "list" always on the list. an easy scapegoat regardless of what you do or don't do, what you say or don't say. always trying to justify your actions to management takes waaaay too much energy when you perform your job well. i left and went to another institution and it's been GREAT! i've changed nothing about myself or how i performed the job yet in one place i was lower than pond scum and the other i walk on water. go figure :smokin:

caliotter3 · Oct 24, 2008

Please be aware that nursing is not in high demand everywhere. In some areas of the US, there are too many nurses, and nurses find it very difficult to get a job. In these situations, employers often take atvantage and treat nurses badly, as well as paying them low wages.

Agree wholeheartedly. Well experienced in this respect. One should never take the job market for granted.

flg8tr · Oct 24, 2008

"Please be aware that nursing is not in high demand everywhere. In some areas of the US, there are too many nurses, and nurses find it very difficult to get a job. In these situations, employers often take atvantage and treat nurses badly, as well as paying them low wages. "

granted, i've looked at this problem from the standpoint of someone who is very mobile and unattached.

PiPhi2004 · Oct 24, 2008

I felt from reading this post, the poster had not been a nurse for very long.
When I looked beneath the poster's name- sure enough- one year of experience.
I have seen many wonderful nurses and CNAs treated badly over the years. I think this most often happens with staff who are not assertive enough- not the ones who are aggressive or abrasive.
I have seen that most times, it's the caring, diligent, hard-working nurse who is pooped on by mgmt and co-workers.
Contrary to the general perception, I don't think that nursing "eats" its' young- it eats the good ones.

I don't really know how to take this comment, but nevertheless I stand by my statement that no matter how many years of experience you have, you can only change your own behavior. With my miniscule amount of experience I have also seen nurses who complain about management with every turn, are constantly rocking the boat and complaining about things that don't really matter much, and those who you couldn't please if you hung them with a new rope. I don't know the OP from adam, and maybe they are the nicest person on the planet, maybe they are TOO nice and are a doormat and should change that behavior. I wasn't trying to be rude or offensive, just trying to give a solution to look into your own self if the same situation continues to arise over and over. However, the slam at my experience was extremely offensive to me, and I do not appreciate it.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 24, 2008

I don't really know how to take this comment, but nevertheless I stand by my statement that no matter how many years of experience you have, you can only change your own behavior. With my miniscule amount of experience I have also seen nurses who complain about management with every turn, are constantly rocking the boat and complaining about things that don't really matter much, and those who you couldn't please if you hung them with a new rope. I don't know the OP from adam, and maybe they are the nicest person on the planet, maybe they are TOO nice and are a doormat and should change that behavior. I wasn't trying to be rude or offensive, just trying to give a solution to look into your own self if the same situation continues to arise over and over. However, the slam at my experience was extremely offensive to me, and I do not appreciate it.

Very appropriate way to respond to someone whom you feel offended you. Thanks for sticking to the Terms of Service.

Actually this is what the op is asking "how can I change my behavior to stay off 'the list'" Since the op, and us all, are well aware that management is going to be the one to change.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Oct 24, 2008

I think the key is to stay off the bad-list in the first place. Once you are on the bad-list, it's hard to break the stereotype or prejudice that someone has against you.

That reminds me of my parents. Everytime I went home, even though I was a competant adult who now picked up my own laundry, cleaned my own room, had kids, etc, they still reverted back to treating me like I was 17. :rolleyes:

PedsAtHeart, LPN · Oct 24, 2008

I think the key is to stay off the bad-list in the first place. Once you are on the bad-list, it's hard to break the stereotype or prejudice that someone has against you.
That reminds me of my parents. Everytime I went home, even though I was a competant adult who now picked up my own laundry, cleaned my own room, had kids, etc, they still reverted back to treating me like I was 17.

do parents ever stop doing that?