Any ideas on how to detach from your work?

shrinky · May 28, 2009

As I said before, if you love it and feel drawn to it you need to be a Hospice nurse but maybe not in that agency. And not all agencies are alike, you have to ask questions not only of management but also the staff that works where you interview. We do peer interviews here without management present so the interviewee can ask questions also. The staff then has a vested interest in the new employee and helps with retention. We have a day away sometimes to just have fun together and unwind and that helps us de-stress. Sometimes the volunteers brings goodies to show appreciation and we always have a luncheon for them during volunteer month. I know that there are months where there are a lot of deaths and I usually will let the boss know that we need to bereave us and we do something for us. Not everyone is for Hospice but if you love it and feel drawn to mit and are compassionate,etc, don't give it up. It is too bad that some managers are managers, I've been on both sides and I prefer this side. I never expected my staff to do something I would not do myself and I could not see that many patients in one day. Good luck and I hope you find peace and a better job.:redpinkhe

ellakate · May 28, 2009

How about taking two weeks off? I did this once and slept for 2 days! You are exhausted and need rest before anything else. Care for yourself as if you were your most fragile, precious patient. Give yourself permission. Then repair and recover. At the end you will have more to give and be wiser for the time spent healing.

Higgs · May 30, 2009

I mow the lawn...do some gardening...go for walks and look at the scenery and concentrate on the tiny, seemingly insignificant things like how much my plants have grown etc etc...sounds a bit crazy but it reminds me that I'm a living thing and a part of the world and it's all entwined somehow. my 5 yr old dtr calls it the web of life (simba calls it the circle of life..!) Working as a hospice nurse you only ever tend to meet people who are living with a 'death sentence' and it's easy to get down about it all. life is all around, take time to appreciate it.

ringaroundtheposey · Jun 12, 2009

I am just a student but I have been working in hospice care for three years as a nurses aid, I thought I would have a really hard time with palliative care but, I go to work with the expectation that the people who come through are doors are probably going to pass away soon, it doesn't really detatch me but it helps esp. when someone has been in the house for a longer time. Higgs said it, life is all around but we have to remember that part of living is dying and take it for what it is, and make it the best that you can for the person and their families. Take time for your self and enjoy the happy moments in the day wether that is simply that a patient of your got to see one more sunrise with their families by their side.

rngolfer53 · Jun 12, 2009

Hi.. its me again.. the nurse falling apart.
I talked with a manager today... explained feeling so stressed and that I am crying all the time...
"Well sometimes Hospice is not for everyone"
Let me put it straight.... I love Hospice... I love seeing and taking care of my patients. I feel right now that they are pushing all of us beyond what we can handle.
I dont want to leave.... but I think I should.... I think the management need to be realistic in how to run it. We have some knock down best nurses in the area... that would give everything for this job... problem is.. they are giving everything and have nothing left for themselves or for their family.
Right... now... I am just looking for ideas on what y'all do to destress
what thing do you do daily.
I am very spiritual... and even my devotional meditations are not enough Im a big ball of nerves and and tightened muscles..lol
I never was that before....
Husband says to leave... do something else.... but I do love this work so...
I feel like I am letting this beat me... I can do this... .

From what you wrote, I'm assuming the cause of your stress is not the nature of hospice work-- e.g. the emotional loss of your patients always dying--but instead the way your agency is run.

If you don't have a sufficient amount of down time--no pager, no cell phone--you will end up as a basket case, and likely sooner rather than later.

You can put off the reckoning by stress reduction strategies, but if the fundamental situation doesn't change, you're buying time, not solving the problem.

Buying time is a worthy intermediary goal, because it allows you to either create change at your agency or find employment at another with a more realistic view of the ability of staff to function and remain sane in this difficult field.

For me, time off is the most effective, and I take a day every few weeks, and a week a couple times a year. I schedule these well in advance, as then I have something to look forward to. "I have a long weekend coming up in x days."

On a daily basis, I make sure I exercise, get the dog out, and take some time for my hobbies, photography and reading being two. And last but not least, I try to get enough sleep.

justiceforjoy · Jun 12, 2009

This may sound odd, but I try to go to the gym everyday right after I get off (practicum right now, not a full fledged nurse yet). I'm exhausted as heck when I get there and mentally, I may be in a terrible mood depending on how the day went, but by the time I'm done hitting the weights or the cardio and leave beet red in the face, I'm in a much better mood with lots of energy to spare.

Exercise is a great way to turn your mood around. You'd be surprised! Invest in a good pair of shoes and hop on the C25k running program