Published
I wrote this letter to a Triage nurse. I don't know her name as she did not introduce herself to me. I haven't decided what I am going to do with it...but I figured I would post it here to start. It's an interesting experience being on the other side of the gurney for a change.
Let me know what you think.
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I write this letter to the ER triage nurse who was on duty May 11, 2011 at a local hospital.
On that day I was taken to the ER by ambulance. I had experienced sudden neurological symptoms, was having trouble standing and walking and was very frightened even though I was trying very hard to stay calm. Anyone who's been in that situation knows how awful it is and how your mind races thinking up the worst case scenarios. I had chosen your hospital because I had been there in the past and know it to be an excellent hospital.
When you called me in (the ambulance attendants had to take a number and wait to be called) you sat down in front of your computer and started to take the report from one of the ambulance attendants. You barely looked away from your computer screen, and from my perspective didn't make eye contact with the ambulance attendant. You did not look at me or acknowledge me.
When you were done, I asked you if it was possible for me to go to the bathroom. You waved past the triage room towards the waiting room and said, "There's a bathroom over there, you can walk there."
My friend, who had accompanied me, responded, "But she's having trouble walking."
You responded, "That's not my problem. I can't go to the bathroom for her. There are wheelchairs all over the place."
The ambulance attendants helped me into a wheelchair and my friend took me to the bathroom.
You didn't know this at the time, but I will tell you this now....I am a Registered Nurse and have been for 26 years. I know what it is to be overwhelmed, overworked, undervalued, underpaid and frustrated. I know what it is to be stressed and I know how it feels to burn out. I've been there, done that and have the t-shirt so to speak.
I truly understand that your job can be difficult at best, But let me ask you something....how is all that my fault?
What did I, as your patient, do to deserve to be treated so rudely? Do you think I wanted to be there strapped to that ambulance gurney? Do you think I timed having my bladder being so full it was painful right for that moment? How much would it have cost you to turn to me and actually look at me? A nursing assessment consists of at the very least looking at your patient and not just relying on the report of the ambulance attendants. How difficult would it have been to simply tell me that you would get me a wheelchair once you were done? (There was one right next to my gurney) How difficult would it have been to crack a little smile? I wasn't asking anything complicated, all I wanted was to pee.
Remember, I am one of you. I too have been on your side of the bed and I too have felt the sting of the profession we chose. So I think it is safe for me to say, with some authority borne from experience that there is never an excuse for a nurse to treat his or her patient the way you treated me.
I'm writing this to put a voice to this problem. I know I'm not the only patient who's had to go through this or worse. Sadly, this kind of behaviour has become rampant. I see examples of that everywhere. Our current health care system with all its problems has put our profession is in crisis. The lack of funding, lack of resources and lack of staffing means that nurses are shouldering a huge burden. I get that! But our patients are in crisis as well and we are the professionals who are caring for them. That's why we are nurses, to care for people. Caring means kindness, not rudeness.
My friend, who is not a nurse, was aghast. She later told me that while we were in the triage room she witnessed another nurse yelling at a very elderly woman and dragging her down the hall by the hand. My friend was going to say something but was told by the ambulance attendant not to say anything because the nurse would "make a spectacle of her."
That is a sad statement considering we are talking about a profession known for caring. Have some of us really forgotten who and what we are and why we are doing what we do? Maybe we should all spend some time on "the other side of the gurney" for a change.
I do have to add one thing however, the ambulance attendants were phenomenal. They were caring, gentle, patient and knowledgeable...literally everything a health care professional should be and more.
Assuming that the scenario played out exactly, word for word, as presented in the OP ...
Maybe there could have been a better choice of words from the triage nurse.
But this is grounds for "shame", etc. as mentioned in several posts here?
Really?
This is the biggest fish some of you have to fry at the moment? Bless you ... for you must be in very serene environments, if a little brusqueness is the end of the world.
So, am I to believe, based on some of the posts here, that one can't be civil and expeditious? Again, be professional. If you're having that hard of a time with it, maybe you're not as good at it as you think. Looks like fribblet needs a new line of work.
You clearly didn't read all of my post.
There is no room for rudeness, but I'm not going to stroke your hair or ignore other, sicker patients to take a patient with capable visitors to pee.
I'm not saying the triage nurse wasn't rude as the OP remembers it, but, based on the entirety of the letter, the bit about someone saying they saw someone yelling at a LOL and someone saying to someone else not to say anything, there might just be a smidge of exaggeration.
That's not to say the OP didn't feel ignored and brushed to the side, but the OP clearly felt the paramedics (who obviously didn't think her neuro changes were serious enough to warrant an IV, and who the nurses who saw her and sent her triage clearly didn't think her symptoms were life threatening) were there to "attend" to her, and I guess assumed the nurse would drop everything, stop triaging (I guess the OP didn't feel her condition was life threatening enough to at least get a set of vitals), and step away from triage for who knows how long to take her to the toilet.
I would ONLY take someone to the toilet who couldn't do for themselves and was in the waiting room alone (and only if a tech is unavailable). It's unbelievably stressful to have a lobby full of people who you can't get placed in a room who are sick.
If prioritizing the ABCs over someone's need to pee means I need to get a new line of work, then our "profession" is screwed.
Wow. I am simply amazed. I have spent time in a few ER's, and busy ones at that, and never saw nor heard any nurse, triage or otherwise, treat a patient in the way you are speaking Fribblet. Do you belittle and berate your patients in the way you have this OP???
She wanted my opinion, I gave it.
Based on the OPs letter, it would seem that the ER staff is there to "attend" to her. Prioritization be damned. I would never say "That's not my problem" to a patient, but I wouldn't have taken her to the bathroom either.
Like I said, there's no reason for rudeness, but damn. The ER isn't a place to get all of your needs met. It's a place to get you screened and stabilized.
I guarantee that if any of these "Oh my god, you ER nurses are so mean" posters were to go to an ER with an actual emergency where every nurse took all the time they needed with each and every patient and made sure all pillows were fluffed, and that every patient had every one of Maslow's need met, the waiting room would be so backed up, you'd probably never get seen.
It seems to me the issue isn't that the triage nurse didn't personally escort the OP to the bathroom, but rather the way she handled the request.
I think the "Not my problem" is a big hang up for the posters here, but for the OP, it seems that the problem was both the rudeness AND the fact that the nurse didn't stop and take her to the bathroom.
Well, until the OP clarifies we have only our interpretations. I see a desire for a little empathy and you see an expectation to be waited upon. Neither is spelled out explicitly.
Fair enough. I think the nurse, as the OP tells it, was unnecessarily rude, and the OP, if the telling is accurate, should expect professionalism. It's not hard or time consuming to pat someone on the leg, look them in the eye and say, "It's alright, tell me what's going on today."
There's just a sense of something else in the letter that seems like we're not getting the whole truth. And that's not to say the OP is lying. I think she's telling it how see remembers it. There just doesn't seem to be a need for the nurse to say "not my problem" unless she was directly requested. And, as she tells it her "attendants," not her visitor, took her to the bathroom.
And I've never had anyone wheeled into my triage room on a stretcher.
Are we even sure the person she's talking about is a nurse and not a tech or registration person who was just "checking" her in?
Because patients don't wait on stretchers in the lobby.
LegzRN
300 Posts
You mean she didn't even give you a urine specimen cup?!