ALWAYS - (a funny for those of us who need it )

Published

I got this in an email from one of my nurses today, i figure i would post this for all of us still waiting for test results/letters/phone calls from admissions committees. Sorry boys but this is more of a girlie joke.

Hopefully this will give you chuckle and lift your spirits, and if you've heard it before forgive me.

Enjoy ;)

AN OPEN LETTER TO

>MR. JAMES THATCHER,

>BRAND MANAGER,

>PROCTER & GAMBLE.

>

>- - - -

>

>Dear Mr. Thatcher,

>

>I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years,

>and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard

>Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback

>riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up

>and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has

>to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company

>smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be

>aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month

>knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

>

>Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from

>"the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is

>starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces

>violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body

>will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call

>"an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

>

>As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen

>quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'

>monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the

>bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood

>swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize

>it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend

>Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles

>into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's

>Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, Sir, you of

>all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal

>maniacs in capri pants.

>

>Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

>

>Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to

>reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi

>pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

>"Have a Happy Period."

>

>Are you f**king kidding me?

>

>What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really

>think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a

>menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit

>pleasurable?

>Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak

>girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you

>have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your

>house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a

>hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

>For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap

>a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say

>something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or

>"Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

>

>Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective

>immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have

>chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will

>certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your

>brand of condescending bulls**t. And that's a promise I will keep.

>Always.

>

>Best,

>

>Wendi Aarons

>Austin, TX

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Specializes in cardiac med-surg.

i saw it last week

ain't it great

there is nothing happy about a period except not being preggy, if you don't want to be

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HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!!!!

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Funny . . . . . but I love my pads with wings . . . . ;)

steph

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Specializes in Junior Year of BSN.

:rotfl:

Now that was funny.

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good to see i'm not the only one who got pissed by "have a happy period" - do any women work in their marketing division? ***?

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Hahahahahaha..... That is freakin hilarious!!!

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Specializes in CNA, RN Student.
good to see i'm not the only one who got pissed by "have a happy period" - do any women work in their marketing division? ***?

I didn't even realize that it said that!!! LOL!

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oh that made me laugh!!! wonder what cute message a lady could put on lets say some jock itch cream

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i saw it last week

ain't it great

there is nothing happy about a period except not being preggy, if you don't want to be

Happiness started the day of my hysterectomy!

There was a picture of Lady Liberty hanging on the wall next to my bed while I was prepped to go under. I was soooooo excited and couldn't wait to get to the OR. We all had a ball, nurses, doctors etc because I kept saying....TODAY IS LIBERTY DAY, FREEEEEE AT LAST!!!!!

I still have some of those things in my bathroom closet...don't know what to do with them....:lol2:

Only a man could have come up with "Have a Happy Period"

I love your kitties ;)

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That's pretty funny......:lol2: love it LOL....

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