AllnursesWAR.com

Q. · Apr 8, 2001

Sarah, I feel bad for you, I really do. Some of these threads can get NASTY.

I don't have an answer for you. My best guess is that those people, who habitually antagonize, belittle, personally attack, etc are just plain mean, or simply, reacted before thinking.

Not all nurses are this way, as not all people are this way. This person, if not a RN belittling an LPN, would be a grocery store clerk belittling the stock boy. Unfortunately, it's human nature. I think Brownie in one of her posts, I think way back in the dreaded "why LPN" thread, went into why she thinks people do this, and how she copes with it: considering the source, etc. Maybe go back and dig up the dead, so to speak, and see if you can find her post.

I wish you luck Sarah, in your nursing career.

night owl · Apr 8, 2001

I think some people belittle others because of their own insecurities. It makes them feel BIG to make others feel so small. It's why these kids go to school and decide one day that they've had enough and start a shooting rampage. They get tired of the bullies always putting them down and they blow. Sometimes they commit suicide. It's a shame because it's time someone takes a stand against it. Like the school teachers. My daughter comes home crying sometimes because the same person keeps making fun of her. When I ask her if she brings it to the teachers attention, she replies that the teacher always says that he doesn't appreciate tattlers. And yet this same kid keeps up the bulling. It's time for a conference with this teacher on Monday because I think he should intervene. It's not fair to let this kind of thing continue!!! It's the same in nursing it's a real shame that adults put down or belittle other nurses and it too has to stop. I'm getting sick and tired of reading some of these posts and from now on if it has to start with myself it will. I will certainly try to stick up for those who receive a post from some nasty person who gets off chewing up someone and spitting them all over the BB!

cargal · Apr 9, 2001

Don't dispair, Sarah. I think part of the problem is that people can hide behind a monitor and strike a key and send their message off without thinking. Also, the internet reaches the entire wired world, and for the most part , is used responsibl. I think this kind of forum has potential for much abuse. I am glad we can get some things out in the open here.

Good Luck in your nursing career. I think we have reached a turning point in the profession and some good things will come of it and we will need sharp, kind nurses. Welcome and remember that there are many kinds of nursing and you will find your niche.

buckboomer, BSN, RN · Apr 9, 2001

We do NOT use therapeutic conversation on this board. However,please use some empathy, understanding, or avoid this board. Many have opinions, stories, etc that they want to share. I rather enjoy the different points of view to help keep or put things into perspective. I'll even go so far as saying it might be a good way of venting. Of course, everyone has opinions and many could lighten up. As a student nurse, how do you have time to read the posts? We all struggle through nursing school. That is REALLY the only bond we nurses have. Get some sleep, keep positive, and go exercise instead of reading these posts. Thanks for your comments and opinion.

StudentSarah · Apr 10, 2001

Originally posted by buckboomer:
We do NOT use therapeutic conversation on this board. However,please use some empathy, understanding, or avoid this board. Many have opinions, stories, etc that they want to share. I rather enjoy the different points of view to help keep or put things into perspective. I'll even go so far as saying it might be a good way of venting. Of course, everyone has opinions and many could lighten up. As a student nurse, how do you have time to read the posts? We all struggle through nursing school. That is REALLY the only bond we nurses have. Get some sleep, keep positive, and go exercise instead of reading these posts. Thanks for your comments and opinion.

Buckboomer,

I think that your advice to get some sleep, keep positive and exercise is great, all of which I try to do to keep sane, but I think it would also be great advice for those who need it, like those who are maliciously venting on others here at this BB.

I can be empathetic and understanding, but not to those who come here to put others down in order to feel better themselves.

As for how I have time to come here as a student, it only takes a couple minutes out of my day, and I enjoy reading some of the posts, like the one posted yesterday about things you can do to make your patients laugh!

As for struggling through nursing school being the ONLY bond that nurses have, I'd have to disagree, as I have found that nurses have several commonalities, and many strong ties that bind you together. Nurses are a breed on their own, nursing is a not a career, but a way of life.

Just my thoughts! Thanks for your post though, got me thinking.

Sarah,

4th year student

MollyJ · Apr 10, 2001

I'm a little discouraged with this board, too, because so many questions turn in to opportunities to openly bash others. In my time, I've met lazy older nurses, bright eager new grads, wise "senior" nurses who were secure in their own skin and willing to share their wisdom, new grads that shoulda never made it "through the knot hole", arrogant male nurses, arrogant female nurses, willing to help male nurses, patient nurses who loved teaching new grads etc, etc.

You get my point. People are way too diverse to categorize. It seems that if you come here to vent about anyone of those people, you may get slammed. Maybe people just need to vent. On the other hand, when people vent and then say, "... but those types [new grads, old nurses, males, females etc, etc] are all the same..." they NEED to be confronted. But I guess that I wish that that confrontation could occur with a little gentility, a little class. We all need each other: We need our new grads, we need our pillars of wisdom and even our "old dogs." Can we show a little respect for our diversity?

Night OWL--re your daughter. If you didn't get any satisfaction in your teacher conference, pull your school principal and school counselor in. Bullies need to be held accountable and _sometimes_ bullied students need to understand what it is they are doing that contributes to their victimhood BUT teachers and all school staff are critical to creating an environment where bullying is not tolerated. And as per your point, this is probably true in the workplace.

Let's spread a little peace in our lives, shall we?

MollyJ · Apr 14, 2001

I was working with some students at one of my schools on the topic of anger management and we were talking about the reasons people give angry responses. The resource I was using suggested that "hanging out with angry friends" can increase your anger responses and my thoughts went to the units that I had worked on that had become pits of frustration and bad attitude.

You may not be able to change your circumstance but you are in control of and responsible for your response to it.

Thoughts?

Jenny P · Apr 18, 2001

Is it possible that the frustration level expressed on this BBS is due to the stressors we are facing in our workplaces? MollyJ, I do believe that one unhappy person can spoil a whole unit and turn it into a toxic workplace if no one confronts that person and the behavior is allowed to go on. I also feel that we each have to take the responsibility to stop the angry personal attacks without putting each other down. Even if the attack isn't aimed at me, I have the right (and obligation!) to tell the angry person to back off and cool down and listen to and respect the other persons' viewpoint even if it is different from our own. We are all nurses, we should remember we have this as a common bond between us.

TLynn · Apr 19, 2001

Originally posted by StudentSarah:
If it's not one thing it's another! I have just started coming to this website over the last couple of months, and lately it doesn't excite me.
It doesn't seem like a place to have discussions, or learn from other nurses, but rather arguements, and some pretty mean ones at that!
I know myself, I live by "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Do those of you who are smashing other nurses, be they RN's (young or old), Student nurses, LPN's ~ feel better about yourselves after posting your horrible, degrating comments?
Just a question.

I grew up in the same belief. I have found burned out nurses ditching the profession and it hurts. If you are burned out, don't like the pay get out and let those who love their work and went into it by choice love their work. I was called to nursing by God when I was around five and today I have been a nurse for two years and can't get enough it is a very emotional high for me and those ditching the profession seem to be trying to burst my bubble. TLynn

------------------