I am writing this totally heart broken and at my wits end.
I started my career as a nurse receiving compliments on what a good job I did. I felt that I was one of those people that had to do my job well and couldn't settle for any less. I had to chart well and provide the care that patients and families were more than satisfied with. They had to know they could count on me and that I was going to be there for them.
After 15 years and multiple hospital settings I have come to realize that it doesn't matter. Over the years, I have witnessed that many of hte units are run by managers and assistant managers that couldn't handle floor nursing and yet their demands on their employees are unrealistic. The people that they choose to be in charge and manage the floor are picked based on friendship and loyalty rather than hard work.
I have worked side by side with techs who run the unit and force nurses to do their work while they find time to sit on the internet or phone and then get out on time while we are stuck over finishing our work. I have walked into many patients rooms to pass pills only to find they had no water, haven't been turned or need urine emptied from urinals or pans that are overflowing. I can't tell you how many pans I have see stained with urine or feces because they don't get rinsed. How often patients are tied up in lines and cords.
I find myself picking up the slack and doing all of the jobs that countless others do not. Why can't people untangle lines? Why aren't pans rinsed from urine or feces? Why won't the techs do tech jobs and make sure people have water or that other needs are met?
In the end, what you get is punished. Punished because you couldn't get your work done. Punished because you couldn't meet everyone's needs and a patient or family felt you took too long to get to them and there was nothing you could say or do to make it right when you knew in your heart that it wasn't your fault. Instead, the blame is on the fact that there is too much for you to do or there is a major imbalance of productivity amongst workers.
The reason for the nursing shortage? Overworked and not appreciated and abused. You can't stick up for yourself, you can't tell them why you couldn't get things done - you can't say nothing. 15 years and nothing to show for it. I have tried nearly every hospital around and I find the negative complainers and the staff that knows how to socialize are the people that are respected and appreciated. It's not about the people that are out there busting their tails. Everyone knows there is a shortage and why but no one does anything and the biggest culprits are the administrators of the hospitals. The majority of those couldn't handle floor nursing or hardly ever experienced it at all.
I leave behind a lot of families and patients that thought I was a great nurse. But when you can't please one in a hundred or more you are a bad nurse. People don't understand the level of demands on a nurse. It is a downright abusive field with little to no appreciation surrounded by many people who are disappointed with their jobs and their choice in the career.
My final blow: After 3 years of sweating to please my last employer and taking the abuse of never hearing anything good - only bad. I went back to agency and went back to a hospital that I worked at 3 years ago. I knew that this hospital had a bad reputation for poor bedside care. Half the staff of any unit could easily be float and agency. The regular staff on the floor was made up of mostly young girls in tight spandex and inviting clothes working on socializing with doctors and hanging out at the desk all day long. Call lights were on non-stop but these girls would not answer them. The techs were busting their tails here. The agency nurses were working but the in house floats were sitting and socializing too. I ended up with a patient with a very bad attitude that was a complainer and law-suit happy. She was furious that for 4 days not one person followed through with obtaining her records from another hospital. It fell on me. I also had a patient admitted with respiratory distress which she shared a room with and could see I was busy. With her personality, she was angry at the moaning of the elderly lady who couldn't breath and was determined to get me to stop and cater to her to get on those records. When I got my respiratory patient stablized, I did just that. Turns out that the other hospital never received any fax requesting the information. This lady hated every person she had contact with at that hospital and wanted to call an agency to get them shut down. I'm sure you know the type by now. So....guess what. I was told today that I was not welcome back because of her complaint. I would literally pull a chair up and sit next to this lady and let her vent. I gave her my heart and I got booted. The nurse that she had the next day was a guy that sat around socializing and didn't care one bit about her. He was regular staff and he was NOT going to go out of his way. They all get to keep their jobs but the nurse that took the time out to take care of her is out the door.
I need a job or I wouldn't take the abuse. But, I know for a fact that this hospital is never going to get it. They were like that 3 years ago and now they have more floats and more agency staffing them. This is a big and reputable hospital.
The hospital I worked at for 3 years was dumping more and more tasks on the nurses and they were all unhappy and complaining. We lost good hard working techs and they were replaced with people who didn't want to work or nursing students who were tired when they came to work and were kicking their feet up taking it easy. Management loved those people.
I suffer from spinal degeneration and pain and I never get to sit down. My job is harder because they are not pulling their weight.
There is nothing left. I still owe for my loan and I am scared to death to take another nursing job. I know it is not going to be any different. I hurt. I lost my insurance and after all that I worked for I have nothing to show for it but bills and a destroyed ego and heart. I feel as though I am the misfit. I am the one who isn't right. I am wrong. I can't even bring myself to waste time on another application since I don't want anything to do with this career any more. I am going to lose my home, my vehicle and everything else.
I have noticed that the field is being taken over by young graduates who are more worried about looking sexy and socializing than working. Patient satisfaction has gone down the tubes and the senior skilled nurses are getting nowhere in this field. There is nothing anyone can do. We all know it is happening but we can't do anything about it.
I'm right there with you, and I 'm seeing the same trends. It's sad to be punished for insisting that the techs do their own jobs, but that's the way it is now. It's not about the quality of the job you do, it's about whose friend you are.
You should try another field, though. Home Health, Public Health, there are lots of options. There are lots of agencies who need people with your experience.
Hang in there! But look around. Don't stay in the hospital just because it's easy for you because it's all you know. Look around at all of your options.
Seems like you must be in a special area. I graduate in May and I have been a tech for over two years. I've seen some of the bad, but more of the good.
Advice? Don't set your own limits. Take a breath and see if you can shuffle the deck a bit, find some new approaches to getting the quality you champion. Especially remember that one person who walks the talk can attract another and two are twice as strong. With this approach, I've seen unit cultures gradually transformed as more people who think like winners notice the unit and those who don't look elsewhere for an easier environment.
You don't have to go through management or coworkers. Just look for people who are already like you and begin to network with them.
I'm so sorry for your bad experiences, I have been there. I worked for 23 years, 18 in the ER and agree with you 100%. My husband doesn't understand why I haven't worked since we moved to a new state 4 years ago. As he puts it---- you work really hard, but at least you make really good money. Only nurses understand and no matter what I say to him he will never understand. I have been thinking of doing medical coding or medical billing. You don't make as much but at least you have peace of mind. i'm sure you made a difference in many patients lives, but I understand that you feel you haven't. I've also been on the other side as a patient with a long hospital stay very sick and I can't even remember anyone washing me or helping me get out of bed after exploratory surgery and a 4 week hospital stay, so I also understand how patients feel. Hang in there and know you are definitely not alone.
Thank you for sharing your poignant story. I, too, am a nurse who does my utmost to go above and beyond patient/management expectations and often saw those who did much less rewarded. Before I got too saddened by my surroundings, I moved into clinical nursing education in a teaching hospital and love my job!
I provide education to my Surgery Dept staff, the med students at the school of medicine, students throughout the community and the hospital regarding patient preparation for surgery.
I have a very supportive Director of Education, Program Coordinator, and awesome colleagues in the Education Dept. Had I not left the 'floor', I doubt I would have progressed both personally and professionally with a positive mental attitude (just received my MSN/Ed). This role, although challenging at times, affords me more opportunities to interact with staff, students, and patients--I feel like I'm making an impact on patient care, staff morale, and student success.
You may want to check out clinical nursing education!
I am sorry to read of your nightmarish experience. When you experience this unfairness alone it can be devastating. You have done the right thing to contact peer nurses and to speak about the situation. You need to vent and to share with other nurses.
Yes, it is frustrating to see lazy nurses have charge nurse positions, nurses who "befriend" the charge nurses and chat while buzzers are ringing.
There are some lazy, self centered nurses in the workforce today.
However, this is what it is - you can now move on and look at a five year plan for yourself.
Where do you want to be in five years?
Do you want to teach and have some influence on sharing your experience with Nursing students?
What do YOU want to do? Think about a five year plan.
I was in a situation that was like living in Alice in Wonderland - everything seemed to be upside down - between the nurse educator, nurse in charge and nurse manager and how they acted towards me. I had been at this hospital for twenty-three years when these nurses started attacking me like sharks. (I think they were jealous because of my seniority and pay scale.)
Anyhow, my sister encouraged me to go on for further education, use the hospital to get my education paid for and focus on working for my advantage and in that way ignore these nurses. This was new thinking to me because I had a displaced sense of loyalty to this employer and my bosses.
Am I glad I listened to my sister!
I have a whole new life. I have started teaching part time as a Clinical instructor and feel respected and that my experience can help these students.
Don't give up - maybe take time for yourself to reassess where you want to go in life.
Remember - you are a caring, compassionate nurse - don't let anyone defeat you.
Keep faith in God and pray for guidance and discernment.
You can do it - you have so much to give this world and we NEED you- whether as a nurse or whatever you choose to do.
I've been a nurse for 28 years, 25 of those years as a nurse practitioner. I understand and sympathize with you. I've seen it all! I am no longer practicing as an NP,as it was becoming to "doctor" oriented.
I recently went back, or tried to go back, to staff nursing, and it was a nightmare. I was discriminated against because I had a master's degree. I couldn't believe how staff nursing had changed. I saw poor care being given and tried to change things within the system, to no avail. I realized that many (not all) nurse managers were promoted to that position because of seniority and/or because they were "good" nurses. Those two attributes do NOT make a good manager.
So, I went into to nursing education. It is my passion to change nursing back to the way it was. I realized I needed to reach the students and instill a love of nursing, a compassion for people and an ability to work with others by recognizing that no one is perfect and we are (or should be) there for the good of the patient.
Have you considered nursing ed.? We certainly need good clinical instructors. Or how about teaching a nursing assistant program? You can make a difference in changing nursing by molding attitudes.
P.S. My daughter is a new nurse and going on to become an NP. In her first year as a nurse she experienced what you did!
I spent 10 years in the nursing field and left for burnt out. I went on to receive an engineering degree. I worked for 12 years and was laid off(automotive industry). This is a tough place to work as well. Just wanted to let you know that what you are experiencing is not unique just to nursing. These are similar issues I saw in my years as an engineer. Don't take things so personally...develop a thick skin.
Take care and know that there are always other options..perhaps home health care..more time spent one and one with a client and great opportunities for teaching which is sadly lacking.
I am writing this totally heart broken and at my wits end.
I started my career as a nurse receiving compliments on what a good job I did. I felt that I was one of those people that had to do my job well and couldn't settle for any less. I had to chart well and provide the care that patients and families were more than satisfied with. They had to know they could count on me and that I was going to be there for them.
After 15 years and multiple hospital settings I have come to realize that it doesn't matter. Over the years, I have witnessed that many of hte units are run by managers and assistant managers that couldn't handle floor nursing and yet their demands on their employees are unrealistic. The people that they choose to be in charge and manage the floor are picked based on friendship and loyalty rather than hard work.
I have worked side by side with techs who run the unit and force nurses to do their work while they find time to sit on the internet or phone and then get out on time while we are stuck over finishing our work. I have walked into many patients rooms to pass pills only to find they had no water, haven't been turned or need urine emptied from urinals or pans that are overflowing. I can't tell you how many pans I have see stained with urine or feces because they don't get rinsed. How often patients are tied up in lines and cords.
I find myself picking up the slack and doing all of the jobs that countless others do not. Why can't people untangle lines? Why aren't pans rinsed from urine or feces? Why won't the techs do tech jobs and make sure people have water or that other needs are met?
In the end, what you get is punished. Punished because you couldn't get your work done. Punished because you couldn't meet everyone's needs and a patient or family felt you took too long to get to them and there was nothing you could say or do to make it right when you knew in your heart that it wasn't your fault. Instead, the blame is on the fact that there is too much for you to do or there is a major imbalance of productivity amongst workers.
The reason for the nursing shortage? Overworked and not appreciated and abused. You can't stick up for yourself, you can't tell them why you couldn't get things done - you can't say nothing. 15 years and nothing to show for it. I have tried nearly every hospital around and I find the negative complainers and the staff that knows how to socialize are the people that are respected and appreciated. It's not about the people that are out there busting their tails. Everyone knows there is a shortage and why but no one does anything and the biggest culprits are the administrators of the hospitals. The majority of those couldn't handle floor nursing or hardly ever experienced it at all.
I leave behind a lot of families and patients that thought I was a great nurse. But when you can't please one in a hundred or more you are a bad nurse. People don't understand the level of demands on a nurse. It is a downright abusive field with little to no appreciation surrounded by many people who are disappointed with their jobs and their choice in the career.
My final blow: After 3 years of sweating to please my last employer and taking the abuse of never hearing anything good - only bad. I went back to agency and went back to a hospital that I worked at 3 years ago. I knew that this hospital had a bad reputation for poor bedside care. Half the staff of any unit could easily be float and agency. The regular staff on the floor was made up of mostly young girls in tight spandex and inviting clothes working on socializing with doctors and hanging out at the desk all day long. Call lights were on non-stop but these girls would not answer them. The techs were busting their tails here. The agency nurses were working but the in house floats were sitting and socializing too. I ended up with a patient with a very bad attitude that was a complainer and law-suit happy. She was furious that for 4 days not one person followed through with obtaining her records from another hospital. It fell on me. I also had a patient admitted with respiratory distress which she shared a room with and could see I was busy. With her personality, she was angry at the moaning of the elderly lady who couldn't breath and was determined to get me to stop and cater to her to get on those records. When I got my respiratory patient stablized, I did just that. Turns out that the other hospital never received any fax requesting the information. This lady hated every person she had contact with at that hospital and wanted to call an agency to get them shut down. I'm sure you know the type by now. So....guess what. I was told today that I was not welcome back because of her complaint. I would literally pull a chair up and sit next to this lady and let her vent. I gave her my heart and I got booted. The nurse that she had the next day was a guy that sat around socializing and didn't care one bit about her. He was regular staff and he was NOT going to go out of his way. They all get to keep their jobs but the nurse that took the time out to take care of her is out the door.
I need a job or I wouldn't take the abuse. But, I know for a fact that this hospital is never going to get it. They were like that 3 years ago and now they have more floats and more agency staffing them. This is a big and reputable hospital.
The hospital I worked at for 3 years was dumping more and more tasks on the nurses and they were all unhappy and complaining. We lost good hard working techs and they were replaced with people who didn't want to work or nursing students who were tired when they came to work and were kicking their feet up taking it easy. Management loved those people.
I suffer from spinal degeneration and pain and I never get to sit down. My job is harder because they are not pulling their weight.
There is nothing left. I still owe for my loan and I am scared to death to take another nursing job. I know it is not going to be any different. I hurt. I lost my insurance and after all that I worked for I have nothing to show for it but bills and a destroyed ego and heart. I feel as though I am the misfit. I am the one who isn't right. I am wrong. I can't even bring myself to waste time on another application since I don't want anything to do with this career any more. I am going to lose my home, my vehicle and everything else.
I have noticed that the field is being taken over by young graduates who are more worried about looking sexy and socializing than working. Patient satisfaction has gone down the tubes and the senior skilled nurses are getting nowhere in this field. There is nothing anyone can do. We all know it is happening but we can't do anything about it.
I am totally defeated and hopeless.
Ah girl you could be me.. I have been on this site for about 4 years been an RN for 5 and I have had 7 jobs in all those years... I am ashamed to admit it and I feel like I am not a good nurse because I can't stand all the BS that happens. I too try so hard and I get tired of doing other people's jobs and be left with messes all the time. I sometimes have wished I did not care about my patients or my work habits but I can't be that way.
I am waiting to get on with the VA not because it will be any different per se but the retirement and benefits will be better than what I was doing now... Psych is my first love and that is what I will be doing there.
I just left a long term care facility job last Thursday this facility has 57 patients and I came in to work and there were no other licensed nurses there they had all called out. So I worked 3 floors passed meds and that was about all. The night shift nurse called off too so I was there til 5 am in the morning til day shift nurse came in early. It was a regular occurence to be a nurse short 3 out of 5 shifts a week meaning I was responsible for 2 floors of residents. I passed meds but did not do my job as I should. I can handle one floor by myself just fine. The adminstration there will not bring in any agency and there are being bought out . I was trying to stay there and give proper notice until I go on with the VA.
I am beginning to think I am not a good nurse or I could stand all this for the money but I can't and then I worry about my license because I know if something like a sentinal event happens it will be my butt not the DNS or facility. I love being a nurse and the residents and patients are never the problem but the higher ups don't give a care they want to go home early and have a nice evening. BTW that same night was a payday and the payroll person comes and dumps the paychecks on me and say lock them in the med room and let people in that didn't come and pick their checks and have them sign this is on top of all the other stuff. They don't have direct deposit. I had just had it and wrote up a letter of resignation and left it for the DNS... I feel like a loser though because i am a single mom and i need the money ... but I couldn't do it anymore....
I spent 10 years in the nursing field and left for burnt out. I went on to receive an engineering degree. I worked for 12 years and was laid off(automotive industry). This is a tough place to work as well. Just wanted to let you know that what you are experiencing is not unique just to nursing. These are similar issues I saw in my years as an engineer. Don't take things so personally...develop a thick skin.
Take care and know that there are always other options..perhaps home health care..more time spent one and one with a client and great opportunities for teaching which is sadly lacking.
Debbie
Yes all work is stressful but when you have people's lives in your hands it compounds it because I think most nurses see it as such. I do... and perhaps thats my trouble.. I don't know.:nuke:
I know you say they are not all like that. But, most of them are and that is the problem. I hear the same from other people in the field and I have been to enough places to see why there is a problem in this field and a shortage.
I go to work in fear. Fear of not being appreciated. Fear of not being safe. Fear of not getting things done. Fear of getting in trouble for things I had no control over. Fear of the intense stress of the shift. Fear of the negativity. Fear of having to work harder because there are co-workers that refuse to do their job.
I am in total fear of this job and the people that manage it.
I pray that you will find your way to "escape" the dark burden of a career in nursing. I did after 18yrs and it made life have a whole new outlook. Never will I ever put myself through such a soul crushing experience again. Think about what you would like to do other than the healthcare field and then plan how you too are going to make your escape. One good thing about being a hard worker is that you too can find your way into a better way of life than living with this constant dread of what terrible events over which you have no control and no matter how hard you try it won't be right that you have to constantly worry about. Stop now today...it isn't worth it. Begin making your plans for a future away from nursing because I don't see anything changing anytime soon. I think many who go into nursing with the highest of ideals are absolutely crushed by the health care profiteers and those who do not share our work ethic. I still have a keen interest in health issues and nursing and do all I can to educate the public on what is really going on in the healthcare industry these days. I just find for my own well being I can no longer be a part of it. I wish you well ....
Yeah, it is very difficult to accept giving up your life for "theirs" only to be rewarded by being forced to leave or the threat thereof. Each day many of us come in never knowing if today will be our last. I have worked for an organization for over 19 years. In the last three years I have witnessed more than 60 "let go" whether it was restructure, downsize, or just want to get rid of you... For several it was due to supervisory or management not liking what you say or do and either you resign as of today with a decent referral or get "laid off" or "fired" with a poor referral. Usually we find out by an email that states the employee has decided to leave for another opportunity as of TODAY-that's how we know which way it really went down .
Hi - you have my empathy. I've been a nurse for almost 40 years and have felt the way you describe for a good part of it. I felt overworked and resentful of people who weren't working as hard; I often stayed late to catch up on charting; and in the early years, at least, I had a good cry in the car before going home. I felt I never measured up (why couldn't I get my work done and leave on time like the others? Well, for one thing, being a perfectionist didn't help); I felt resentful of those in the 'cliques' who clearly were personality favorites - in fact, it was a bit like high school! Only the consequences are much higher when one is an adult working in nursing. There are some things you can change and some you cannot, but coming to know the difference is a key move. Nursing is notorious for both 'eating our young' and not supporting each other. It's pitiful but common, and some feel strongly it has to do with "lateral violence" in nursing as a whole. If you don't know the term, check it out.
I'm going to suggest something that might be misinterpreted as blaming you, but please know I'm not at all. Many of the workplace things you've described are on target but I know from experience that the conflict (both at work and within yourself) only gets worse when you feel SO down and SO resentful and SO frightened of the future, that you actually make things worse for yourself. You start feeling like a victim of the 'system' and helpless to change things so you start blaming that system across the board - and you get yourself nowhere. I've been there in the past and my best friend is there now, too.
So what I suggest is this - somehow, find some psychological counseling you can afford. If you have no health insurance, see if your town/city can offer help through an agency. Or see if you can get into a mental health clinic setting where you can pay on a sliding scale. Maybe there's a women's support group within a private psychology practice - you'd pay less and get even more support. I never knew whether or not to trust employee resources groups, but maybe you could.
There's so much good advice in the letters here about changing areas of nursing or indeed, changing careers through education - don't be afraid to try again! My nurse friend has been suffering so much through a nasty divorce, single parenthood, depression, anxiety, and a load of hospital workplace backstabbing that she's finally, gingerly stepping into an opportunity in an entirely different area of our hospital's nursing units with an eye to moving over fully if it works out. She's gotten to this stage by lots of support from other nurse friends and from professional counseling.
Which is how I've also survived the trenches - with counseling, you come to see the bigger picture in more realistic terms. You could feel better about yourself and others; even the malingerers do, in the end, get their comeuppance; you learn to concentrate more on improving your own interpersonal skills; you learn to clarify any personal issues and to feel less self-pity and anger. No, not every nursing management team is horrible; and if you're able to perhaps move or travel further away from the local meager pickings, you might get another new start that works out better.
You might learn to develop more self-esteem so that you end up functioning at a happier/higher level in general; with greater concentration on raising the level of the entire unit through your ideas, suggestions, constructive complaints, etc. You cannot fix everything; you will not find all the answers; you are not responsible for making your hospital a model for all nursing. But you can join a work committee that appeals to you in the slightest; you might join the nursing journal club and start it off with a review of barriers to unit cohesiveness, or some other issue that resonates.
Btw, this is a pet peeve of mine, too: "Why can't people untangle lines?"
But this: "I find myself picking up the slack and doing all of the jobs that countless others do not" is akin to co-dependency. You cannot do all the work that others fail to do. You're NOT personally responsible for it, and in a way, you're ending up feeling like a martyr. Do you see what I'm saying? That this is so much bigger than what any one nurse can do?
I do get the sense that you're feeling hopeless, and wonder if there's anything positive in your life? Do you take care of yourself outside the job? Do you have any fun? I worry about how sad and angry you seem to be. It's no wonder given the situation you're working in, but I think you've got to start with yourself. I wish you all the luck in the world. I'm still a nurse but have made some huge changes because I was able to. May things get better with you! :heartbeat
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Viviana, ASN, RN
54 Posts
I'm right there with you, and I 'm seeing the same trends. It's sad to be punished for insisting that the techs do their own jobs, but that's the way it is now. It's not about the quality of the job you do, it's about whose friend you are.
You should try another field, though. Home Health, Public Health, there are lots of options. There are lots of agencies who need people with your experience.
Hang in there! But look around. Don't stay in the hospital just because it's easy for you because it's all you know. Look around at all of your options.