Advice needed to stay afloat!

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Jun 26, 2015

One shift at a time. Just keep going one foot in front of the other. Do not look down the road. Look up when you are on your final shift. Just do it and make it and then never again. It actually will get better eventually.

peachnurse22 · Jun 27, 2015

I was in your shoes exactly 1 year ago. Like the previous poster said, just take it one shift at a time. However, life is too short to be miserable in a job. Nursing is a calling and caring for patients is admirable and for most of us it's in our DNA to want to help others. If your mental health is in jeopardy- you need to consider finding something else. Here's a little bit of my background that was similar to yours:

I signed a similar new-grad contract...actually it was 2 years employment after finishing a 1 year new-grad residency program. The buy-out was $10k. I was terrified of this! Anyway, I started full-time days 12 hour shifts on the same medical floor I did my practicum on. After orientation I too was miserable. I dreaded going to work, I never had time for the bathroom or to eat and I went home crying many nights. I'll be honest with you, I didn't last an entire year. I quit on month 11 because I just couldn't take it anymore - and I found a high paying, lower stress outpatient job that I'm in now. I really like my new job, there are a few issues but such is the nature of this business.

My advice for you is to really do some self-reflecting on what your career goals are and how much work is impacting your life. Do you have time for fun? Hobbies? Family time? What's important to you other than nursing?

See if you can find a way to schedule your shifts so they won't be so exhausting. I used to love Monday-Tuesday 2 off then Friday. It gave me the weekend at home with my husband and an extra mid-week break.

Find time for self-care - exercise/yoga/painting/whatever you like to do that helps you to relax.

Many posters on here will tell you that's just how it is in nursing and to suck-it-up we've all been there. I get the tough love and it's needed at times - but only you know how seriously this job is impacting your happiness which is just as important as taking care of patients. You will find your niche in nursing and succeed!!

Sorry for the wall of text. Best of luck to you createsomechange! :)

peachnurse22 · Jun 27, 2015

PS - I was never asked to pay the $10k :)

scaredsilly, BSN, RN · Jun 27, 2015

You are not alone...you are totally normal! I haven't reached the golden one year anniversary yet, but I am getting close and it really has gotten better!! I still have a ways to go myself, but these are the things that really helped me:

1. Get some of your classmates or some other new grads at your facility together to form a support group. Just being able to vent with others in the same situation makes all the difference it the world! Knowing that everyone else is in the same boat and that you are not alone really helps!

2. Become a member of the team where you work. Offer to answer call lights for other nurses if your shift is slow, bring cookies to work, etc. This kind of thing puts everyone in your corner and they will not let you drown! You help them, they will all want to help you.

3. Never ever ever complain at work. Complain to your friends, your family, and us on AN, but NEVER at work! Put on the proverbial happy face...it pays off! and never argue with nurses on the floor, you are the new kid, they know more than you, even if you think they are wrong, don't argue.

4. Ask questions every time you are unsure, but don't ask the same question twice. Figure out a way to keep the answers where you can access them. Don't be afraid to say "I have never done this, can you show me how please", patient safety is important and they won't mind helping you.

5. Leave work at work. Easier said than done, but you need downtime, you cannot constantly worry about things that happened on your shift. Take it one shift at a time, but when it is done, make it be really DONE.

6. Celebrate the good stuff! You do something that helps patients every day of your shift...small or large, you are making a difference. Dwell on that! Whatever it is on a shift that helps, think about it, think about how you felt when that patient thanked you...it helps to know that you are making a difference!

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Jun 29, 2015

What is triggering your anxiety? Are you making mistakes at work? Even the most seasoned nurse has some types of events or situations that cause anxiety. Some nurses find that they just 'can't deal' with certain types of patients - usually because this triggers a personal experience that overcomes their ability to maintain the necessary amount of emotional distance. I distinctly recall an instance when I (well-seasoned CCRN) absolutely lost it because an elderly, multi-system failure patient resembled my own much-loved grandmother.

From the information you've provided, it seems like you may be having a more generalized free-floating anxiety if it begins with just thinking about going to work. If so, you need to seek qualified professional assistance to help you deal with it. Even thought your anxiety may be limited to work-related situations today, there's no guarantee that it will continue to be so in the future.

Be kind to yourself.

abittooreal · Jun 30, 2015

at least your environment isn't toxic. based on what the per diem nurses at my facility (who hold FT positions elsewhere) my hospital is about as ****** as it gets. we are understaffed, there is no sense of comradery, and there is a racial divide amongst us. i work in 1 of the most (if not THE MOST) competitive job markets in the US and we're consistently hiring NEW graduates. high turnover.

i am a new graduate, also. i know exactly how you feel... it could be worse. shift by shift... after i gain some experience, i am going to get out of this hellhole.

createsomechange · Jul 3, 2015

Thank you everyone for your responses! It's great to be able to vent and feel heard and understood.

RNJill · Jul 4, 2015

I think one thing to realize that will hopefully be at least somewhat comforting-although not a magical fix-is that 3 months is just the beginning of a career. It is entirely natural to feel out of your depth at this point and feel like there is so much unknown in your day that can lead to feelings of anxiety and chaos. You're also in that no man's land of being definitely off orientation but so far from being an experienced nurse.

So first, give it a little time. Carefully assess the entire picture to see if *anything* has improved. Are there skills that have become easier? A patient that you have really connected with? A crazy day that you have managed to stay calm in the midst of? A work buddy that you have made? I say all of this having ebarked on a new career phase a few months ago and feeling a lot of what you did-hating so much of my work and regretting my job change sooooo deeply. Now, however, things are kind of better. My skills and abilities have improved, my place in the work setting has been better defined, and the list goes on.

Things are definitely not perfect and they will probably never be. I still get angry and or frustrated sometimes, but at least now when I do leave I'll be in a much more rational place to determine the next step.

However, in the meantime for you there's nothing wrong with casually looking at other jobs, at least you'll know what's out there! In the meantime try to take care of yourself in any healthy way possible, and just know that sometime soon, a little more experience (painful though it may be) may alleviate some of these awful feelings.

Good luck.

rnchacha · Jul 7, 2015

I'm also in my third month. I got about 5 weeks of on the floor training. I know exactly how you feel. I'm right there with you. I'm always charting one-two hours after I'm supposed to be off even though I've supposedly been given the "easy" patients. I am constantly stressed and anxious. I've lost weight since I'm so anxious.

Some days I am convinced I need to just quit. And then the next day is somehow a bit better so I convince myself to just keep going. I was promised vacation time off before I started and if it weren't for that I may have quit already. I just don't know how to make myself go faster when I'm already running around like crazy. And I still feel like I could do better assessments and give better patient care. All that has helped me is to remember to ask for help. It sucks because we only have 1 CNA for 30+ patients at times so I can't always get help with feedings or changing but I still need to ask if it means I get extra time to chart or change a dressing.

I guess I don't have too much advice to give except to say that I understand how you feel. It makes me feel a bit of relief that I'm not the only one. And I guess we can just take it day by day and do our best. Let me know if you find anything that helps as well. :)

DrKim · Jul 10, 2015

First and foremost, your story is very common. The average new nursing graduate leaves the bedside after just 2 years. I would explore a few options:

Option 1 - Unit transfer

Option 2 - Shift transfer

Option 3 - Facility transfer - If you are fortunate to be a part of a large health system, then you may be safe with the payback foolishness as long as you stay within their "system." If this is the case, then you may be surprised to find that a member hospital in another location is like night and day to the one you're in now.

Option 4 - Have an attorney review the contract. If you have documentation that the job is affecting your physical and mental health, then how can you care for patients safely? Every contract has loopholes.

Option 5 - Talk to your nurse manager or HR

Option 6 - Quit and call their bluff. Most facilities put that payback bonus claus to scare people. They lose more money in unpaid/underpaid service than loss of staff. They have their priorities. If they do hold your feet to the fire, find a better job with a sign-on bonus and use that money to pay back the other facility.

No matter what, you have options. Never forget that!

toERortonot · Jul 10, 2015

I'm also in my third month. I got about 5 weeks of on the floor training. I know exactly how you feel. I'm right there with you. I'm always charting one-two hours after I'm supposed to be off even though I've supposedly been given the "easy" patients. I am constantly stressed and anxious. I've lost weight since I'm so anxious.
Some days I am convinced I need to just quit. And then the next day is somehow a bit better so I convince myself to just keep going. I was promised vacation time off before I started and if it weren't for that I may have quit already. I just don't know how to make myself go faster when I'm already running around like crazy. And I still feel like I could do better assessments and give better patient care. All that has helped me is to remember to ask for help. It sucks because we only have 1 CNA for 30+ patients at times so I can't always get help with feedings or changing but I still need to ask if it means I get extra time to chart or change a dressing.
I guess I don't have too much advice to give except to say that I understand how you feel. It makes me feel a bit of relief that I'm not the only one. And I guess we can just take it day by day and do our best. Let me know if you find anything that helps as well. :)

prioritize patient CARE/SAFETY and you'll be ok. although they say "if you didn't chart it, you didn't do it." i wouldn't worry about that UNLESS the organization is out to can you. there are nurses on my floor who NEVER chart until the end of the shift... and they're still kicking 10+ years later.

i am a new graduate and the only mistakes i have made were because i was in a hurry/rushing. i have (1) CNA for 30+ patients, also. depending on which CNA is on duty, that person might as well stay their lazy-ass home. my charge nurse isn't too helpful, either. i hope i don't kill anybody.