advice from Mom's working overnights

inkedRN · Jan 3, 2010

Congrats on getting into the ED! I start in the ED at my hospital next week.

I do three 12s at one job and two 8s at the other (I have a full time and a per diem job). I usually get home by 8am and go right to sleep. I get up around 3pm. My husband is a stay at home dad, so that's helpful lol

midinphx, BSN · Jan 3, 2010

It's doable. But make sleep a priority! We tend to put sleep last, after kids and housework even. People think you are "off" on your day time rest time and think they can cut into that time. Make rules about when mom is sleeping. And get help for babysitting the 2 years old. Have dad drop him off at daycare or sitter and you pick up. It's only parttime, and that doesn't make you a bad mom. Write out your priorities and post where your support systems can see it and help.

I worked nights when my son was 3. Day took care of the kids at night. I took care of them at daytime (while I tried to sleep so I could go back that night). I slept on the coach while my son sat ontop of me and watch Nick Jr. For a long time I couldn't sleep without Flipper the dog being on! lol. Should have gotten a sitter. And they all wondered why I was such a b-word that year! lol.

Lovelee82 · Jan 3, 2010

Im not working as a nurse yet so Ill just say Good Luck. Get as much help as you can so that everyone can get sleep.

htrn · Jan 3, 2010

Sleep is #1 or you are not going to be good for anyone. Dad takes the kids to daycare on his way to work, and in my case, picked them up on his way home. I don't keep any phones upstairs at all. Get a noise machine - something for white noise to cover the phone when it does ring, the neighborhood dogs barking, the doorbell, etc... Get light blocking window shades. You can get them at wally world pretty cheap. Create a routine that you stick with, like if you have to go to Dr., DDS, etc... make those appointments either right after work or after you tend to wake up in the afternoon. After your last night shift before you days off - take a short nap during the day and then go to bed with your family. It would be better if you could stay on a night schedule on your days off - but we all know that won't work with a family :-) Make sure they schedule you several shifts in a row and then give you several days off in a row - none of this on 1 noc, off 1 noc, on 2 nocs, off 1 - will make you CRAZY!!

My husband knows that if there is an emergency - he has to come home and wake me up or send someone to wake me up because I won't hear a phone. Another option is to have a cell phone that is ONLY used for an emergecy that you keep in your room. Keeping mine on Vibrate doesn't help me. I always hear it and then can't find it and the battery goes dead and I can't even call it to locate it.

Anyway - good luck. I've done it for years.

zuzi · Jan 3, 2010

Have many cells phone numbers.... the number open all the time is for emergencies.......

proudnurseRN · Jan 3, 2010

Right now my dh just goes to school 2 days a week, so I avoid working those days. If I have to, then my 3 yr old goes to my MILs daycare. However, my son also goes to preschool Tues-Fri, the bus picks him up at 11am and drops him off at 4pm (at the daycare). If dh has a night class and I work, SIL watches him until dh is out of class. I really try to avoid working that day so we don't impose to much on her help.

Teacher First · Jan 3, 2010

Make sure you have child care of some kind arranged so that you can get adequate sleep while your child remains safe. No matter how you think you will be able to stay awake while child is awake, you will eventually have that "one time" when you doze off and awaken to him/her doing something unexpected! It happened to me....I awoke to my daughter's face two inches from mine after she had applied mommy's make-up. She was about 2 1/2 yrs old and pretty much nailed the Mimi make-up job from the Drew Carey show! I had to laugh, but after thinking about what else she may have gotten into, I made sure to have a babysitter lined up not only for working, but also sleeping! (I had all dangerous items locked up, but those little guys can get creative!)

Michelle123 · Jan 4, 2010

This is something that I am interested in, I won't be doing perm noc's but a rotating roster that includes them.

My son will be almost 18 months. We co-sleep and he is still breastfeeding. So far days have been managable, I express once on a shift, which is more for my benefit as he doesn't have milk when I am not with him, but he still feeds multiple times through the night so not sure how he will cope with that.

I may have to take two breaks to express....

I'm not sure how he will sleep with DH and not me. When I am on arvo, he will go to sleep with DH once he is sure I am not there, but he knows that when he wakes up I am usually there.

To be honest, I think it will just take some adjustment. You will need to be flexible and able to think outside the box, as your family may need something a little different.

Maybe, you could have someone come and stay with you during the day, do you have two levels? Maybe they could have your toddler downstairs, and you could have upstairs, that way you could also have some snuggle time with your baby? How much time will you be taking off when your new babe is born?

I would also suggest sitting down with your toddler and just explaining to him that there will be some changes coming up, and reassure him. If all of a sudden his routine changes and he wasn't prepared for it, it could be distressing for him. It may still be a little distressing. Also, bear in mind when you tell him about your pregnancy, you don't want him to think that this change in his routine is to do with the baby.

I'm sure if you are flexible, well supported and take into account your family when working out the routine it will be doable.

Just think, if you do your nocs in a block you will have more time at home.

What the PP said about taking a nap coming onto your day off and going to bed with family sounds good, even if it is a little later.

Invest in a good big bed!

Don't forget to make time for yourself and your dh as well as your kiddies.

FLmomof5 · Jan 4, 2010

My mom worked nights for 30 years but that was before 12 hr shifts. She worked 11p to 7a. She would sleep when we were in school and was up by the time we got home. She would then take a short nap before she left for work.

Everyone is right. You need to ensure you get your sleep.

Not sure what my mom did when we were little but she gave birth to 5 children!

BluegrassRN · Jan 4, 2010

I was a breastfeeding, cosleeping mom when I worked nights. It did suck for a while, but it got better.

When I wasn't there, both kids actually slept better. :madface: what the heck?

The oldest one, 4 at the time, really didn't seem to have any issues with missing me. Again, what the heck?! The youngest , though, really did. She was one at the time when I started nights. Actually, I was working 8 hour nights and in school full time.

One thing that evolved by accident was that she developed a constant attachment to one of my scarves. I lived abroad for a while, and picked up several huge scarves. On, in particular, was my favorite and I wore it frequently. One day when I was leaving for work, my youngest was crying, and when I kissed and hugged her goodbye, I wrapped her up in my scarf. She wouldn't let go of it, so I just left it with her. She slept with it all night, and dragged it around all day. It became a constant companion for her when I was gone. When I was around, she wanted me to wear it, I think probably to reconnect it to me visually, and also to make it smell more like me when I was gone. She dragged that scarf around until it was in tatters. It got so bad I couldn't repair it anymore, it was more patches and darning than original material. She was 5 years old when she finally let me get rid of it.

Long story short (sorry, I worked all night, I know I'm rambling..)--is there some article of clothing that your kid could cuddle with and drag around, something that smelled like you and he/she could associate with you? That might help your child feel less disconnected when you're gone.