Advice on drama, bullying and negativity

[cebelle]

I've been in nursing school 6 weeks. I'm doing well academically (I've only had anatomy and med term so far though) but I'm struggling with a clique that formed within the first week. I'm the oldest in the class. I'm overweight. I'm a little socially awkward. But I do my best to be kind, supportive and understanding. The first day, I tried to be friendly to the person who was assigned the seat next to me. She gave me a dirty look and didn't speak. All I did was smile and say hi. I decided she was probably having a bad day. But she stayed the same. She's picked her 2 friends and looks down at everyone else. She's super sweet to the teacher, but disrespects her behind her back. She's neutral to the other students' faces, but makes snide remarks under her breath. During our first projects (paper, oral report and poster or power point) her friend asked me a complicated question about something generally related to my topic, but not specifically required for me to research, and they looked at each other and smiled when I didn't know the answer. The second project, I was able to answer their questions, because I deeply researched above and beyond what I needed to know. But she asked everyone questions in a mocking way, imitating their different inflections. In my case, I don't do well with public speaking, so I say "um" a lot, so when she asked me a question she said um several times and paused a lot between words. Then she looked at her friend and winked. I want to request that I not be seated next to her in the next set of classes, in case the next teacher assigns seating alphabetically. I just don't want to listen to her negativity anymore. She already harassed one student to the point that that student quit. I don't want to start anything at school by talking to anyone there. I don't want to be that girl. I just want to be left alone! I don't want somebody looking over my shoulder mocking me. I'm already a nervous wreck! I've made a few buddies there. And each of them has commented that i'm nice. So I don't think it's anything i've done to this girl or her friends. I feel like i'm in middle school again. Or they're filming a sequel to "Mean Girls" and forgot to tell me. I'm an adult and i'm going to act like one. I don't react to her. But I was hoping someone might have some advice as to how to handle this situation. Something beyond just ignoring her. Thank you for your time and your help!

[It'sYaGirlK, CNA, LPN]

Unfortunately I deal with something similar there is this one girl in particular that really irkes my nerves in class and I was a bit taken back by how much it feels like “high school” some days. I’m the queen at ignoring so I literally pay her no mind.. plus I don’t have the friendliest aura so she doesn’t mess with me specifically but her personality is super nasty and negative! My only suggestion is to remain the adult and remember after school ends most likely you won’t see that person again! Best of luck ❤️

[rachelalexis23]

The fact that people that are supposed to be adults still act like this is truly appalling. Someone with that kind of attitude will not last in the real world. You are doing the right thing by ignoring this behavior. I really cant comprehend why someone with this attitude would want to be a nurse to begin with. I know school can be competitive and sometimes younger immature girls can be snarky, but there is zero excuse for such ridiculous behavior, and whats more, is that the other girls are going along with it! Ugh dont worry, she is going to get a dose of reality when she is expected to behave like a mature, caring human being. Karma always comes around!

[Nurse_Nell]

All I can say is you are above that, do not stoop to that level. Not stooping to that level (in this case) means do not take her immaturity personally, do not let it emotionally affect you much more than it has, and do not get involved in her drama. You are in nursing school to become a nurse, and it will be over after school. Stay focused on what you came here for and think of it as practice for when you encounter bullies in the field. Keep your distance and find some humor in it, too. Brush her off but be respectful. Set your boundaries (this is pretty woo-woo but sometimes I like to think I'm setting "energetic" boundaries with toxic people...imagining blue light surrounding and protecting me from *** energies...it feels good to do this at least, and it helps me feel better). I dealt with a girl at a previous school I attended who was so negative and horrible, so I just kept my distance and didn't engage her at all.

[Workitinurfava, BSN, RN]

You are better off keeping to yourself unless someone goes out of their way to include you in their circle. I say this because people can drain your energy and nursing school is tough enough. You don't need to focus on being in a clique and entertaining folks when you need to be concerned with passing nursing school. I have seen her type in school, always acting like a class clown, thinking they are this and that, but failing a class because their energy isn't well spent. Keep your nose in your books but at the same time you do have a right to pull the girl aside and tell her you don't appreciate her behavior if it continues to get out of control. What you say is, I need to speak with you, it is very important. Ask her if there is an issue and let her know to leave you alone or you will take it further. I say this because sometimes you can only ignore certain things. Try the ignoring first and if that doesn't work, go with plan B, which is pulling her aside. You will encounter this again. In this field you are bound to run into some characters. Don't get me wrong there are nice nurses but under stress, your nicest nurse can and will grow two heads.