Abuse From Management

[boomer1]

Does anyone know what one can do if being abused by management. My fiance' is a new RN as of March in New Jersey. The hospital she works in has management yelling and screaming at her at times, even in front of patients. She feels they are possibly trying to get her to quit for whatever reason, even though she get's many "well done" comments from her preceptors. There are certainly things she needs to learn and things shes does wrong, but instead of calm, constructive criticism, she gets yelling and abuse, not to mention she works many hours overtime without barely a 5 minute lunch. She needs help desperately, as I feel helpless and don't know what advice to give her. Any advice is deeply appreciated. Thanks

Philip

[BBFRN, BSN, PhD]

Ohhh...thanks for the clarifications, llg.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Ohhh...thanks for the clarifications, llg.

Thanks for not escalating things and creating a real flame war between the two of us. I probably didn't express myself as well as I should have.

The OP's fiance might well be the victim of a really bad bully, but she also might be misreading the situation a little -- or misrepresenting it to him. A lot of people, particularly young people not used to the adult work world are not used to receive negative feedback. They were good students and may not have much experience with being criticized. Also, a lot of people use the expression "yelled at" to mean whenever someone critcizes them -- even when the critcism is appropriate. Finally, the majority of people who are struggling in a new job blame other people, not themselves, for their problems. While the other people might really be at fault (and this boss might really be a bully), I'd rather not jump to that conclusion without a little more information.

Once again ... thanks for being understanding.

[RNperdiem, RN]

Can we avoid the overuse of the word "abuse" in working situations? Abuse is if you have been lured into a job, have your passport confiscated and are forced to work for little or nothing under threat of bodily harm. Sweatshops are abuse. Please folks, save the word abuse for situations that warrant them.

[MzMiNiDiva8]

Unfortunately, abusive nurse managers are common in healthcare facilities, and the situation tends to not improve as time passes. Your spouse has received a harsh welcome to the political world of nursing.

I have noticed that abusive managers target certain individuals, while leaving other persons alone. Unfortunately, it's all about perception. If you are perceived as one who will not stand up to the manager, you'll be targeted for further harassment and hollering. If you're perceived as someone who will put up resistance and not allow anyone to run over you, then the nurse manager will quickly know to leave you alone. I'd hate to admit it, but your spouse has somehow identified herself as an easy target for the yelling.

Bullying is a crime of opportunity. Abusive managers tend to pick the most opportune targets: people who are less likely to respond in a defensive manner to the yelling. Also, if nothing is done, the manager will continue his/her screaming, because he/she has gotten away with it previously and will continue...

I totally agree... This happens in all types of workplaces, jobs, school, ANYWHERE. They certainly target certain people who they know they can bully and get away with it. These folks need to start standing up for themseleves.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Can we avoid the overuse of the word "abuse" in working situations? Abuse is if you have been lured into a job, have your passport confiscated and are forced to work for little or nothing under threat of bodily harm. Sweatshops are abuse. Please folks, save the word abuse for situations that warrant them.

Since verbal and emotional abuse are exceedingly common aspects of bedside nursing, I definitely feel that the word "abuse" is very appropriate to describe particular working situations. After all, abuse entails far much more than bodily harm...

[BBFRN, BSN, PhD]

Since verbal and emotional abuse are exceedingly common aspects of bedside nursing, I definitely feel that the word "abuse" is very appropriate to describe particular working situations. After all, abuse entails far much more than bodily harm...

True. And some people do stand up for themselves and are called insubordinate.