? About not breastfeeding

[Schmoo1022]

Hello,

I am not looking for a big debate or anything. I just want to know if nurses, in general, look down on moms who choose not to breastfeed. Not because of a medical reason, just because mom chooses not too.

My friend had a negative experience and feels so guilty for not breast feeding now. In my opinion, I think she is more guilty about not even trying , but she keeps mentioning a comment one of the nurses made.

Just a general question

Thanks!

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

This actually sounds like the moms on meth in my community. Their rotten teeth are the first clue and the skeletal look is the second.

Not saying this is what you are seeing . ..but it sure sounds like what we see.

Is anyone really that malnourished in America if they are not on drugs? I'm wondering what kind of conditions these women are suffering from?

steph

No. I know exactly what you are talking about though and we saw those types of mothers too. We saw almost every kind of drug addiction and high risk pregnancy in that short little public health rotation....it really blew my socks off and opened my eyes to a whole new world. This lady was severly malnourished. She was living off nothing but the government program supply of cheese, powdered milk (which she was watering down to make it last longer between visits), some food stamps, and a skimpy disability check. She had eight children, 5 of which had not been taken by DHS, and lots of other issues. But she was not on drugs. Just very poor and very uneducated. And there were other women from this particular community that were running a close second to her as well.

[TweetiePieRN]

I am not trying to be abrasive.I don't want moms to be uncomfortable. I am not talking about situations where it is counterproductive to breastfeed; emotional distress, physiological issues, etc. I just want to know why as a society we don't breast feed when we know it is the best. I know a lot of bottle feeders get defensive about this issue, many people try to guilt them and they guilt themselves unnnecessarily. I am not trying to cast blame around on mothers who don't breastfeed. I just think alot of mothers do not get a full education about why and how to breastfeed thier babies. I am trying to advocate for a helpless infant who benefits from mom holding and touching them while they feed. (Many moms, GOOD moms, prop thier baby up with a bottle and do something else) It is good for mom and baby to have this sit-down time. I realize that there are many reasons why some mothers can't breastfeed; that is what formula is for! I don't believe that it should be a an either/or choice. If you need it you should have it, if you don't let your bundle of joy have the benefits that they deserve from mommys wonderful breastmilk. Decreased allergies, fewer ear and respitory infections, decreased rate of childhood CANCER, and decreased rate of diabetes. I am not trying to be abrasive, I just want our future generations to have the best future imaginable. (also according to research: breastfed babies have a higher IQ, even after the population is adjusted for socioeconomic factors)

The old timers living into their 90s were not all breastfed. They used to use condensed milk as formula! I'm sure you can agree that the formula that exists today is way more acceptable than the older versions. But, amazingly there are humans alive and WELL today who were not breastfed. My husband was not. They are healthy folk, no allergies, high IQs, no cancers in the family hx...maybe its just anecdotal.

I have several friends who have new babies and NONE of us prop the bottles. This is actually very dangerous. We all "hold and touch" our babies while feeding them. We are very hands-on moms. Realize that just because one breastfeeds does not equal they are being more loving. I hold my baby close to my chest and lovingly look into his eyes while feeding him from a bottle. I sing to him, we hold hands, he puts his little fingers in my mouth. I feel very bonded to him. During my horrible breastfeeding experience...I could not even see his face my breasts are too huge. So I was not bonding with him.

Now, I think the reason society is not breastfeeding at the rate you would like to see...maybe because it takes 2 incomes just to make ends meet anymore. If more people were able to be SAHM then you would probably see more of it. At my job...I don't have time to take more than a 30 min lunch break. So, pumping would have been out of the question. Most women only get 6 weeks off postpartum out here.

Maybe another reason could be since a mother is the sole source of food for the recommended one year...how can she ever break away and have some moments for herself? I am human and need a break once in a while. If there is no option for a bottle, then the mom is the sole person responsible for feedings.

Realize that most cancers have no real cause. I don't know what study you are referring to, but I have learned that it's relatively easy to find any study/statistics to support whatever we want them to. We can thank the internet for that.

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

I am not trying to be abrasive.I don't want moms to be uncomfortable. I am not talking about situations where it is counterproductive to breastfeed; emotional distress, physiological issues, etc. I just want to know why as a society we don't breast feed when we know it is the best. I know a lot of bottle feeders get defensive about this issue, many people try to guilt them and they guilt themselves unnnecessarily. I am not trying to cast blame around on mothers who don't breastfeed. I just think alot of mothers do not get a full education about why and how to breastfeed thier babies. I am trying to advocate for a helpless infant who benefits from mom holding and touching them while they feed. (Many moms, GOOD moms, prop thier baby up with a bottle and do something else) It is good for mom and baby to have this sit-down time. I realize that there are many reasons why some mothers can't breastfeed; that is what formula is for! I don't believe that it should be a an either/or choice. If you need it you should have it, if you don't let your bundle of joy have the benefits that they deserve from mommys wonderful breastmilk. Decreased allergies, fewer ear and respitory infections, decreased rate of childhood CANCER, and decreased rate of diabetes. I am not trying to be abrasive, I just want our future generations to have the best future imaginable. (also according to research: breastfed babies have a higher IQ, even after the population is adjusted for socioeconomic factors)

I think if we made it a more comfortable environment, more women would be open to learning. But just look at how many posters on this thread have referred to LC's as breast nazis and milk nazis......seems like there is some pushing going on that is not well received. Not the case everywhere, but still too much.

I agree with steph too that women are being sent home too early.

As far as research out there that 'suggests' babies who are breastfed have higher IQs. That is a bunch of bull. (to put it nicely) There is considerable amount of research that counters that argument, not to mention that IQ tests have been proven to be extremely flawed in their methods of measuring cognitive and developmental achievement and potential.

I am not against bottle feeding moms. Women have much busier lives today, than in the past decades. Plus, there are not many breastfeeding friendly public places. Breast pumps are quite expensive as well, especially if you are already trying to make ends meat. Its just a lot more complicated than not having the proper technique, the education, or even what you really WANT to do.....sometimes it is just logistically not going to work.

[tntrn, ASN, RN]

I personally know of two moms who, after the first few days, never breastfed at the breast. Instead, they pumped and bottle fed that to their babies. Talk about nipple confusion! (Which I personally don't believe in, especially when you talk to moms from other countries.) So much for all that bonding.

And I also can attest to some formula feeding moms who always held and rocked during feeds. I am one of those. That special time was no less special for me because I wasn't breastfeeding. My kids are healthy, have beautiful teeth, have no allergies and are productive in society. My daughter graduated with a 4.0 from high school and is currently acing all her classes in a radiography program.

I don't think you can quote a study (once again, you can prove what you want depending on how you conduct it) to categorically say that breastfeeding is best. It may be best for the baby, but a baby joins a family, and while things must and do change to accommodate a new member, everything shouldn't change. In some cases the baby has to be assimilated in to fit the family dynamics.

In my own personal case, I just never had the desire to even try to breastfeed. And no, I don't have intimacy issues. Just didn't want to do it. So I did the best d*mned job of formula feeding ever. My choice. I fail to see where any of my breastfeeding friends have any better relationship with their kids than I do, or that my kids are any less in any way than theirs are.

The whole "agenda" to breastfeed is taking on a life of its own, and I find that a bit offputting. If my patients want to breastfeed, I'll help them as much as I can. If they don't, I help them no less, because sometimes they need that encouragement to know they're not bad moms, or ruining their kids' lives way more than the breastfeeders do. Too often, they are treated like lepers even by their own friends and family. That is just so wrong and certainly does nothing to bolster their own confidance. If I can give them even a little bit of that in the short time we have them, I will. In the end, it is their choice, period.

[TweetiePieRN]

I wish all moms could have at-home visits postpartum. It might really help with early detection of PPD.It really is a serious issue. New mommies need more support from family and society

That would be a great idea. Unfortunately I am a great actress and no one would have ever picked me as one to have ppd. I am the happiest outgoing person you could meet. I, to this day, am shocked that I actually had the thoughts I did. I luckily had lots of support. Once I admitted what was going thru my head, it was off to the docs I go.

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

Maybe another reason could be since a mother is the sole source of food for the recommended one year...how can she ever break away and have some moments for herself? I am human and need a break once in a while. If there is no option for a bottle, then the mom is the sole person responsible for feedings.

I think this is a great point! I never even thought about that....like I said earlier, I am not a mom yet sadly. Mommy is already tired when she takes home newborn, wants some rest after a rushed hospital stay, and wants dad to get his butt up for a feeding or two. Can't really do that if you are breastfeeding and haven't had a pump or been able to have a chance to pump. Then as time wanes on, dad doesn't get to bond with feeding the child as much as mom...which is equally important.

[StuNurseUP]

I hear patients talk about how they lived to to be 90 and thay ate greasy food and smoked every day of thier life. This does not negate the fact that smoking and greasy food aren't good for you.

I know a breast fed baby that was sick all the time, I know a bottle fed baby that wasn't isolated incidents do not negate the fact that breastfeeding is better for immature digetive and immune systems. It is fact whether people like it or not.

Breastfeeding Is cheaper! one pump=$260 bottles and accesoorys = $50

Formula for one year+$2000.

Takes 10-15 minutes to pump every 3 hours. 3 pump times in a 10 hour shift if you time it correctly.

Good for mom: makes her take her breaks!

Connects her to her baby during the day.

Mom is out of work less with sick baby: Saves the company money!

Society needs to support breastfeeding moms by letting them take pump breaks at work. Also by not giving them a hard time about breastfeeding in public. Its normal . Its natural. Babies cant wait. Get over it

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

Society needs to support breastfeeding moms by letting them take pump breaks at work. Also by not giving them a hard time about breastfeeding in public. Its normal . Its natural. Babies cant wait. Get over it

I agree with this statement wholeheartedly. There was a resturaunt in our area that tried to bann breastfeeding inside and told a mom she would have to go to the bathroom.......to make a long story short, they are not implementing that policy anymore and will never do it again unless they want to shell out the money for a private breastfeeding room.

[StuNurseUP]

As a mther of 2, iknow when you come home wtih baby you are tired. I stayed in bed with my kiddos and we rested and nursed. Dad changed most of the diapers and the baby and me got to recuperate. Bonding with daddy is important: he burps and changes baby and I feed. When the baby is a month old we introduce breastmilk in bottle:Daddys job. This sytem worked great to prepare for my family. I breastfed both kids for one year by pumping at work (I worked full time) and it went wonderfully. I had a few breastfeeding problems but with great lactation support My children and I made it through,

[TweetiePieRN]

I hear patients talk about how they lived to to be 90 and thay ate greasy food and smoked every day of thier life. This does not negate the fact that smoking and greasy food aren't good for you.

I know a breast fed baby that was sick all the time, I know a bottle fed baby that wasn't isolated incidents do not negate the fact that breastfeeding is better for immature digetive and immune systems. It is fact whether people like it or not.

Breastfeeding Is cheaper! one pump=$260 bottles and accesoorys = $50

Formula for one year+$2000.

Takes 10-15 minutes to pump every 3 hours. 3 pump times in a 10 hour shift if you time it correctly.

Good for mom: makes her take her breaks!

Connects her to her baby during the day.

Mom is out of work less with sick baby: Saves the company money!

Society needs to support breastfeeding moms by letting them take pump breaks at work. Also by not giving them a hard time about breastfeeding in public. Its normal . Its natural. Babies cant wait. Get over it

Its not always about affordability in money terms. It's not just the time to pump, but add the 30 mins of time to actually feed the baby too. It is VERY exhausting. Then you have to wash and sterilize all the equipment too!

I am on my feet almost the entire shift. I need that 30 min break to eat and recharge my batteries. Besides, there is not a discreet spot to pump on my floor if I wanted to. I work 8 hr shifts. No matter how well I could have timed it...we have a law in California that there will be a nurse per 5 patients at all times, so I can't leave the floor until the charge says I can.

There are so many variables that come into play with this. All we can do is provide the education/resources for those who want it (those who WANT it).

[tntrn, ASN, RN]

Do you have scheduled breaks where you work? If not, how would going every 3 hours work, not to mention that everybody else is entitled to one 15 minute break every 4 hours. And sometimes breaks just don't happen.

Then there's the breastfeeding mom where I work, who was still pumping when the kid was 5 years old. Give me a break! And guess who always got the breaks? This same gal sometimes brought the 5 yo to staff meetings and at some point, he'd just either pull up her shirt or unbutton and help himself, all the while kicking the back of our chairs. That's really not necessary at 5 years of age. Just my opinion, of course.

Breastfeeding is a good thing; but I really don't feel like others should do more or have less in order for that to happen, especially at work. Discreet breastfeeding in public doesn't bother me either, but discretion is crutial.

[TweetiePieRN]

Do you have scheduled breaks where you work? If not, how would going every 3 hours work, not to mention that everybody else is entitled to one 15 minute break every 4 hours. And sometimes breaks just don't happen.

Then there's the breastfeeding mom where I work, who was still pumping when the kid was 5 years old. Give me a break! And guess who always got the breaks? This same gal sometimes brought the 5 yo to staff meetings and at some point, he'd just either pull up her shirt or unbutton and help himself, all the while kicking the back of our chairs. That's really not necessary at 5 years of age. Just my opinion, of course.

Breastfeeding is a good thing; but I really don't feel like others should do more or have less in order for that to happen, especially at work. Discreet breastfeeding in public doesn't bother me either, but discretion is crutial.

On my floor (acute oncology/medical with some tele beds) we have a scheduled 30 min break. The 15 mins are up to our own selves to get someone to cover. The nurse next to me doesn't have the time to babysit my group, so I can enjoy a break that she won't get to have. It's unfortunate, but its reality.

Your blurb about the 5 yr old :rotfl: That must have been quite a site to see. At that point in the breastfeeding relationship, one has to wonder...who is REALLY benefitting from this?