A Day in Memory Care/ Dementia

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 16, 2016

The only experience I have in Memory Care is as the daughter and daughter-in-law of Alzheimer's patients. You guys rock! I know that I could absolutely not do your job. Taking care of my mother at home for a month after my father died and before we could get her into Memory Care nearly finished me.

I can identify with so many of your comments. Mom flushing her dentures down the toilet. ("I found them in my mouth and they didn't belong there. Now I can't find my teeth."). Taking her to the dentist to get new dentures, which she then put into the garbage disposal ruining both the dentures and the disposal.

Mom trying to take a huge bite out of my arm -- at which time I was grateful she had already flushed her dentures down the toilet.

When my husband accompanied me on a visit to her, she looked him over and said "Fine. Now we can get started." And immediately started taking off her pants. That was the LAST time he went with me to visit her!

Constant complaints that other residents and the staff were trying to steal from her. She was convinced that "someone stole my glasses." We looked for them for two days before finally finding them in the bottom of her waste basket.

Constant attempts to leave to go home. Then there were the times she actually got out the door (someone else's helpful visitors). It was a small town. People left their keys in the car. She took the car and went to the bank to withdraw all of her money because she was sure they were stealing money from her. It was a small town. Fortunately, the bank manager knew her and knew her situation and called my sister. It wasn't the only time she "borrowed" a car from the ALF parking lot . . . Until staff learned not to leave their keys in the car. One time she spied a horse and buggy in the "Amish parking garage" across the street and decided to take the buggy home. The sheriff's deputies were amazingly good about her stealing cars, but after the buggy incident we were asked to find her a higher level of care. (I think they probably kept her far longer than they should have, but it was SUCH a wonderful place that I cannot be sorry for that. Besides, I have stories to tell. She would have loved that!)

Sorry this got so long. I only meant to say thank you for working in an area that is so needed, and one in which I could never manage.

roser13, ASN, RN · Sep 16, 2016

Strange timing. I just posted this on FB:

I have come to realize how much I'm enjoying my Saturday afternoons on a closed Memory Care unit. I have always been a people watcher (just ask my husband - he thinks I'm weird), and this is people-watching at its finest. You must suspend reality, as reality on the unit is a fluid concept. There may be 30 different realities occurring all at once amongst the 30 or so personalities. If I'm lucky on a particular Saturday, a dancer will be dancing, or a singer will be singing. Sometimes both, and they are never on the same page of the playbook. There are earnest conversations occurring between 2 people, and one side of the conversational thread has no relation to the other. Today, I saw a magical moment when the soundtrack of the big-screen TV movie included a 1940's big band number. Conversations ceased abruptly, faces lit up and hands lifted into the air to clap, direct the orchestra or to simulate dancing. A woman who had been crying out "Help me! Help me!" for a solid 2 hours suddenly raised her hands in the air and began to dance in her chair. Her smile lasted for the next hour and her anxiety was gone.

I witness amazing exchanges between residents and nurturing staff:

R: "Why did you just hand me a cigarette?

S: "I didn't - that's a piece of cake."

R: "Where are you?"

S: "I'm right here at xxxx. Where are you?"

R: "Well, I'm right here in front of you! Can't you see me?!"

R: "Who's dead?"

S: "Well, I'm not dead and you're not dead, so I guess we're all ok."

Every Saturday afternoon, I take away something new about being human. Every Saturday I give thanks for being human.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Sep 17, 2016

So tough and yet so awesome

StNeotser, ASN, RN · Sep 17, 2016

I don't work memory care but I visit sometimes with hospice.

One man at the locked door to the unit told me he was visiting his wife and he didn't know how to get out. I was slightly suspicious and looked around the room, then his wife came up and told me she was visiting him. According to her he said this line quite a lot. :)

TeaPlease · Sep 17, 2016

Watched the Lawrence Welk show with a dotty aunt last month.....she said, "oh, this must be a rerun, his hair is still brown!" Didn't have the heart to tell her that Lawrence is leading the band in Heaven.

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Sep 20, 2016

i've worked primarily with Geriatric clients in home health, many with Dementia. paternal grandfather placed in SNF 30 yrs ago when Alzheimers advanced and gransmother got sick and hospitalized. Just placed my father 2 weeks ago in Memory Care unit after 2 years decline, vistiing several hours every other day o get him adjusted. Observed and heard so many similar conversations. They have such patience with "Paul" who loves to pace one end of floor to other, trying all doorknobs then flinging himself on floor in hallway for 30 min refusing to get up.

Yesterday Dad tapping watch at 12N telling me they didn't have any food for breakfast except for small round item (donut) and no food for lunch. "They left people alone in dining room and wouldn't give us more to eat". Can see staff setting up dining room for lunch. Passing aide in hallway she mentioned Dad now allowing her to bath him, got shower yesterday...and this morning had bacon, eggs toast AND donut "He eats everything I give him".

I'm so grateful that there are chatty, attentive LPN's, aides and activity assistants who don't mind listening to the same story for 10th time in 30 minutes, can sooth the screamers and ensure nutrition with the picky eaters.

YOU ROCK!