Decompressing - HELP - 23 yo RN in distress! LOL

MrChicagoRN, RN · Jun 14, 2014

Welcome

Keep in mind that you need to take care of yourself first. You'd shift is 8 hours, or 12 hours, then your gone. Do your best to leave it all there when you leave.

While there, you should be able to vent with your coworkers, no one outside of your job will understand, and you don't want to worry about HIPAA. Try to find the humor in situations, when appropriate.

When you are off work, do things that are fun or relaxing. Take a walk, a run, watch a funny movie, flirt with your SO, do gardening. Michigan in the summertime, should be lots of outdoorsy things to do. Whatever works for you.

Mandychelle79, ASN, RN · Jun 16, 2014

Zombie hunting... Best stress relief I have found. AKA- house of the Dead 2 on the wii.

There have been times where my negative coping skills creep in, which in turn makes me realize how hard it can be for the patients to utilize the skills. There have been times where I didnt care that I havent been a smoker for a long time, I still stopped and bought a pack. Or the times where I spend a little too much time at the local watering hole.

TerpGal02, ASN · Jun 17, 2014

I will second making sure you are attending to your own self care. If writing your thoughts down helps, try journalling (leaving out identifying pt info of course). On your off time, do things YOU enjoy. Every once in a while I great myself with a facial or massage.

I was just recently there where you are. I was feeling totally burnt out. I had quite a few PTO hours racked up so I used them. Took a week off, didn't go anywhere, just stayed at home and relaxed. It was exactly what I needed.

Whispera, MSN, RN · Jun 17, 2014

It's important to have time off to decompress. Don't limit yourself on your well-earned vacation hours. Also, see if whoever does the scheduling can schedule you regularly with 2 days off in a row. I found I couldn't relax in just one day, because I had to get everything done at home that needed to be done in that one day. A second day made all the difference.

It's also important to figure out how to leave it at work. You can't do a thing from home except hinder your happiness by going over and over what happened at work. Save it for when you go back. This sounds rather dissociative, I know, and it's worked for me anyway.

Hot baths with bubblebath and candles, limiting caffeine, talking to those who understand, LOUD music and dancing around the house when no one else is there, walking in the sunshine, journaling, swimming, eating cookies....all have been used by moi!

nurse lala, BSN, RN · Jun 18, 2014

I agree with my peers that you need to take steps to regain your best self. You sound to be suffering from burn-out. One combats burn out by taking exquisite care of your self. You have to do things away from work that feeds your healthy side. And a key concept, you need to make yourself do these things. So, start thinking about what makes you happy, what makes you smile when you remember it? Maybe it is as simple as calling or having a visit with a friend or family. Little things can be very effective: playing with your dog. Going for a walk with a neighbor. bake cookies for a friend.

Also consider the things you have been wanting to do. Now is a good time to try something new. Start planning a trip or go for a weekend get away. Attend a community play. Some of us develop rituals; I have friends who developed a support group at the local bar, they (we), as a group, can talk and decompress and enjoy some laughs together. I like to go to the Korean bath house every two weeks after work on Friday. I spend 2-4 hours sweating and chatting and relaxing. I also get a pedicure every two weeks. i don't need the pedicure, but it feels so good to get the foot rub!

One very important consideration is your activity levels. Are you exercising? You really need to be taking care of your fitness to help you deal with the stress. Exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel good. And your fitness is important to avoid injury.

What can you do at work? Talk to your peers about the high levels of stress. I bet you are not alone. There is a lot to be said about commiserating, er, collaborating with peers to address the high stress levels. We have had cases in which the MD will put a cap on new admissions or perhaps alternative outcomes are possible. The discussion has to take place for meaningful change to occur.

And lastly, Margotnursee21, I think you are wise to seek counsel here. I hope you are open to consider what you can be doing differently. Please let us know what you plan to do. Take care of yourself :)

jemz21 · Jun 24, 2014

I agree with everything that's been said above. I worked nonstop for 2.5 years and it eventually got the best of me. I think the only reason I managed to survive without losing my sanity or my job was that I tried to sneak in some self-care time once in awhile. I just got back from a 1-month leave feeling energized and rejuvenated. Of course, it helps that I'm already planning my next leave in 6 months.

Self-care should be your priority. You can't be of help to others when you can't even help yourself. It is not selfish to put yourself first. Exercising is definitely one of the best ways to let off some steam. I played RockBand on Wii with my son almost everyday for the past couple of years because beating on those drums really helped me get the frustrations out.

Take the time for yourself and even though it's sometimes easier said than done, do try to leave work at work.

messymissy · Jun 24, 2014

I think as nurses we place entirely too much pressure on ourselves to always be the "perfect nurse!" We are human and need to take care of our own mental health first. Use your PTO, journal, seek help from a professional if needed. Nursing has become such a high stress job, it can become anxiety inducing very quickly! Sometimes I think we are all a little crazy, to continue to do the jobs we do, with all the poop we put up with! ?.

Thank you for caring for our nations veterans! But take care of you, also. There are been many great suggestions given already. I hope you find them helpful.

I wish you the best of luck! ?

MissyRN

wingding · Jun 30, 2014

Look at the hours you are working - are you working a lot of OT? Learn to say NO - it works~ no excuses necessary. Take your time for you & your family & find quiet places to listen to..... nothing -- the constant noise of a psych unit can take toll when you go home to a noisy & demanding home. Try to find the humor of each crappy situation & first of shift tell your co-workers & patients that ya'll are going to have a Wonderful day --- simple & cheezy - but I swear, just invoking "a wonderful day" first thing in the morning helps me set everyone's mindset to positive. I invoke the "Wonderful day no matter what comes" & just keep trying to smile through the day & 99% of the time I leave work saying - I had a good day.

WarrenpeaceRN · Jul 26, 2014

Interestingly, it wasn't the patients, doctors or general staff that made my first year as a nurse (in psych) complete hell, it was some of the other nurses! Here are some suggestions (other than all the good stuff already recommended above):

- See it all as a project, as a learning experience about medicine, the mind, yourself, whatever focus will push you above the ordinary.

- Focus only on the moment, next hour or day. Life can change in an instant. As one quote I read stated: this is your current life situation, not your Life.

- Don't try to over-analyze (especially on days off!) what is bothering you or causing the stress.

- Accept that we are not gods and often the best you can do is simply be with or available the person, this often does amazing things

- Voice your concerns and challenges, but professionally and rationally (accept that what you say falls on deaf ears)

- Find other nurses who are positive, intelligent, caring, and build a relationship with them. They can be a godsend.

- If there are certain situations that are triggering something in you, talk to a nurse you trust. Usually they will either help you through it or do the task themselves until you can deal with it in the future.

- Avoid the walking dark holes on staff! At all costs! Don't let them sap your soul, that is exactly what they want to do. I learned an important lesson, before saying yes to overtime, I look to see who is working. If there is someone I have difficulty with, I simply say no or I'm unwilling....providing no reason or excuses.

- Don't anticipate the kind of day it will be. Most times, our worst fears going to work don't materialize. Can't tell you how many times I dreaded going to work, imagining all sorts of stuff, and the day turned out either ok or wonderful.

- That old adage is so important: focus on what you can control. Most times it is only our attitude, beliefs and actions.

- One amazing thing about nursing is that you are in a position to do wonderful things to people who are quite ill. Just treating someone with kindness and respect who has not felt this in a long time or think themselves unworthy can change their and your life. Nursing allows you to touch something very powerful and so deep in the fabric of reality and to shift it to the good, even for just a moment. It is something most people either never or seldom do. This has been the most important lesson I've learned from being a nurse, the power we all have to shift reality, a moment, a belief of a lifetime by the smallest gesture of kindness, care or respect. There are some people, they are rare, who just always knew this. I wasn't one of them and had to learn it. Oh, and we can do this for ourselves.