Dating a former patient

SionainnRN · Nov 12, 2014

It would be a huge ethical breach to date her. First you were part of her healthcare team, second it was a psych facility so she is part of a vulnerable population which makes it even worse. You cannot date her. You shouldn't even have contact with her. If she was just released from an inpatient psych facility she has enough on her plate and needs to focus on getting her life back on track, not on getting a new boyfriend. Think about what is best for her.

**NICU Guy, BSN, RN** · Nov 12, 2014

I would say that would be a huge No-no. If you had met her on the street and in the course of conversation you mentioned your job and she mentioned her inpatient stay, maybe. But like the PP stated she has a lot to deal with right now and does not need to complicate things with a romantic relationship with one of her caretakers.

Davey Do · Nov 12, 2014

First, thepsychtech, I applaud your action of gaining data before rushing head strong into an Unethical situation that involves matters of the heart. We Guys often don't use our big head for thinking.

Next, I have to concur with Sionainn and Don...

HOWEVER, in our system, a personal relationship between an Employee and FORMER Patient can take place after 6 months of being discharged.

It would behoove you to check with your Employer's Human Resource Dept.

And if you don't want to turn your life into a Daytime Soap Opera, remember this: "Love loves an obstacle."

The Best to you, thepsychtech. Welcome to AN.com. And, hey, don't be a stranger!

guest769224 · Nov 12, 2014

Go for it.

A boyfriend might be the antidote she has been seeking.

SionainnRN · Nov 12, 2014

Go for it.
A boyfriend might be the antidote she has been seeking.

I hope that is sarcasm because that is horrible advice. Not only is it unethical, a bf is not the cure for mental illness.

guest769224 · Nov 12, 2014

Often times mental illness can stem from underlying needs not being properly met. The affection and love of a significant other can greatly alleviate the struggles one is having.

What I consider horrible advice, is acting like you're a know it all, and telling other posters they are wrong for providing different viewpoints.

Davey Do · Nov 12, 2014

What I consider horrible advice, is acting like you're a know it all, and telling other posters they are wrong for providing different viewpoints.

Differing viewpoints is the stimulus for great debates and is welcomed, ICUman!

Having several years of experience has afforded me the opportunity to make, and learn from, my MANY mistakes. Bringing situations to the light and considering different options allows others the same opportunity.

The bottom line is that thepsychtech wants to pursue an intimate relationship with a Former Patient. It is established that such an action would be unethical with good reasons given.

However, the action would not be illegal, so thepsychtech is free to act on his desires without the fear of being, for example, fined or jailed. He stands to lose his job, and mentally and emotionally devastating himself and another.

But, as previously stated, "Love loves an obstacle". Class examples: Romeo and Juliet. West Side Story. Countless others.

We may just well be witnessing the birth of a new Tragedy: "The Psych Tech and Patient"! And ICUman might just be the catalyst for this modern-day Tragedy!

So there you have it: thepsychtech will do whatever he decides! Let the Tragedy begin!

liberated847 · Nov 12, 2014

I can see how this one ends, just remember when you're litigating in divorce court; "you picked her!" LMAO!!!

SionainnRN · Nov 12, 2014

Often times mental illness can stem from underlying needs not being properly met. The affection and love of a significant other can greatly alleviate the struggles one is having.
What I consider horrible advice, is acting like you're a know it all, and telling other posters they are wrong for providing different viewpoints.

When someone is sick enough that they are an in patient at a psych facility, it is an absolute certainty that their issues are more severe than just needing a significant other. They have serious, deep rooted issues. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can see that and can see that it's beyond inappropriate to start a relationship with them. What this pt doesn't need is more upheaval in her life as she's trying to get it back on track.

Kcwestportboy · Nov 12, 2014

Here is my point of view....she is mentally ill whats to stop her from saying you did something to her or say that you raped her if this doesn't turn out well for you....We as healthcare professionals have to have a line we don't cross no matter what it is or where its drawn... For some people they won't even hug a patient or rub a patients back where others will... you have to protect yourself and your career...My mother(also in the healthcare field) said that the biggest way to burn out is to be too involved with your patients.

Stephalump · Nov 12, 2014

How would you connect with her after discharge without acting unprofessionally?

Getting "digits" from a patient is unethical and surely straight up against the rules. You'd be using your position of power to initiate a relationship. You'd be taking the professional relationship to an unprofessional level.

Or would you dig through her chart to find her info? Surely you can see why that wouldn't be allowed, either.

So I'd say that, no matter what, it's a bad a idea. But unless she hunts YOU down after the usual waiting period required, it's an even worse idea. Don't abide your power. You'll meet people you connect with. But you aren't there to date. You're there to help vulnerable people.