Ped client with a difficult mom! HELP!!

[tcooks7]

Please everybody, I need to vent. Bear with me & help me please, lol...

Ok, I have been working with a child on a trach & vent for 2 months now. The mom works from home-unfortunately. Before I came along, she had 4 other nurses out there that she sent away because according to her, they were incompetent.

Right away, I could tell that the other nurses weren't the problem, it was her!! She claims that she likes me & that I take good care of her child, but she just started letting me give them a bath last month (I was a CNA for 6 years, think I know how to give a good bed bath). She won't let me do trach care, she insists on doing it not being clean or sterile with it at all, then complains when the child has an infection around the trach. Gee I wonder why??

She's extremely rude to me & to everyone but then wants to complain to me that she has no friends, no support & she's so burnt out. Complains she cant sleep at night because the noc nurses keep up so much noise.

I just recently switched from days to nocs. The first noc, I changed the child a couple of times & repositioned. When I was leaving in the morning, she didn't believe that I had changed the child because she didn't hear me in the room with the child (she has her bed in the child's room). I told her I intentionally kept quiet so I wouldn't wake her up. (Even though I can't stand her, I still try to be nice & caring). She kept asking me if I was sure I had changed them or not!!

Another reason why I think she doesn't care for me anymore is because I don't come to her house to hang out with her on my days off, I haven't gone hiking with her...she doesn't understand that I'm there to take care of her child, not be her friend.

I've been complaining to get out of there the first week I started and the company wouldnt let me! If I'm not happy with the client or their family & at times feel almost scared to ask a question because she's gonna snap, shouldn't they move me around?

Also, when it comes to the childs meds, the mom changes things & move them around because she thinks she knows everything. I try explaining to her, I have to follow the MAR. If you want to give this & give that then you have to do it yourself.

Aahhh!! Sorry, but it feels so good to vent to fellow professionals. Maybe someone can give me some advice on how to handle her?

The next step? I will have to quit!

[poppycat, ADN, BSN]

Every agency I've ever worked for has had a policy that nurses are not to give their phone numbers to families. I've never had an agency give my number to anyone.

[nursel56]

Hello, fellow nurses!! An update to this case: I have been off of it for about 5 weeks now and I am happier than I have been in a long time. But just 30 mins ago, the crazy mom text me and wanted there to be no hard feelings between us because her daughter was so attached to me and she wants me back on the case. Apparently, my agency told her that I didn't want to be on the case anymore, which of course is true, but they should have never told her that. That was just unprofessional. My plan was to get another nurse in there as a back up and then slowly let me off the case, not just pull me! But, whatever, that's done now. Now, the new nurse isn't working out and she wants me to come back!! LOL!! She was the most rude person I've ever met and there was so much more going on in the house that I didn't even bother to say because it's so unbelievable and I honestly don't think people would believe me. I have not responded to her and am contemplating just ignoring her or telling the agency that she has text me, yet again, cause she text me 3 weeks ago and asked me to call her...What do I do?!

Oh yes . . this is a pitfall - I really believe there are people who sense kindhearted souls and play on the heartstrings! You've already done more than was required by being willing to stay long enough to train a replacement.

I agree with those who suggested to ignore it and make a clean break. I can pretty much guarantee the negative part of the cycle would return from this lady should you become involved again.

Poppycat, sometimes we must create some sort of channel to communicate with families because in a large number of instances the agency staff does not ever relay a message, gets it wrong, or delays it until several days later, and we know that they will not accept any responsibility for the consequences, leaving us to be unfairly dumped on when we were acting responsibly and they were not. The agency should never take it upon themselves to give out our personal information, though.