fed up with the families

Specialties Private Duty

Published

I just nees to vent. I'm so fed up with the families in private duty nursing. Reasons why include:

It seems a lot of families,esp the mothers, are looking for friends instead of nurses. You could do everything right but if another nurse,esp a bad one, oversteps her bounds and comes dropping in on my shift to see the familiy on her days off,she gets the praise.

2.families lpreferring other nurses because they share the same ethnicity and language.

3.families that want you to do other things not on the 485 like give meds not on it.(I don't mind doing laundry)

4.families with boat loads of junk on the floor and don't know what a clean home is.

5. Families that really don't need a nurse but but need a babysitter.

6.agencies that send you to dangerous places without a heads up. At least let me know iso I can take precautions.

7.I don't know why families compare the way we do things. I might do things a certain way and nurse whatever does it another way but we reach the same results.

Families with unrealistic expectations. For instance some on the night shift(7pm to 7am) just want you to be in a room with the client and have no tv and don't want you to use your laptops or phones.

I thought I finally found a nursing field I like 6 years ago,but now its changed,and I'm starting to feel awkward around the families. I hope I'm not burned out from this.

Thanx for letting me vent.

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Unless you have come to the conclusion that you need to change specialties, you probably are in need of a vacation. It does get discouraging from time to time. That is when I have to remind myself of the alternatives.

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Maybe I'm getting board. As far as vac no agency provides paid vactions.

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One of my former agencies started providing paid vacations but they only told certain nurses about it. I did not mean a paid vacation, I've never had a paid vacation while in home health. The trick is having a case to go back to once the vacation is over.

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Specializes in PICU, NICU, L&D, Public Health, Hospice.

And of course, the OP's post points to why vacations are important to nurses in this field. Yet, paid vacations for visit staff represent no financial gain to the agency so...

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I have only worked for two agencies that provided paid vacations. One was the agency that only mentioned this info to certain employees, and the other agency had a union.

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Specializes in private-duty, hospital, LTC, clinic.

Sounds like you need a new case !! There are good ones out there, though I have had my share of not so good ones, and a few cases from hell :devil:

I do private duty and only have one client, this case is the best I've had :yeah:

Everything you said is familiar, but for me the good out weighs the bad, a bad

day of private-duty is better than a good day at the hospital or nursing home!

Been doing this for >5 yrs. and :redbeathe it. Each family teaches us more skills to be successful in this field. Hang in there, schedule a vacation, look for a new case, and good luck to you :)

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"It seems a lot of families,esp the mothers, are looking for friends instead of nurses. You could do everything right but if another nurse,esp a bad one, oversteps her bounds and comes dropping in on my shift to see the familiy on her days off,she gets the praise."

This is very true and it happens quite often. Most of these mothers are stuck at home with a handicapped child and perhaps one or two more other kids. Often they are single Moms or they are married to deadbeat husbands/fathers who live life as though they had no handicapped child, are drunks, or are no help whatsoever to the child's mother. They can't come and go like most people can. Having to pack up a wheelchair, suction machine, vent, or whatever to go to the store is a chore, so they usually don't go out often. They are so busy caring for their child that friendships often become a thing of the past and the child becomes their whole world. Their nurse comes regularly, helps them, is compassionate, talks to them, drinks coffee with them etc. She gradually becomes part of their life. Since they are so starved socially, the nurse often becomes the only friend they have. I have seen this happen more times than I can count. Some nurses step too far across that 'professional line' than others. I think it's nearly impossible to be in someone's life and home like this without becoming friends or in some way emotionally involved with the family. We aren't robots.

I took care of a little girl for a few years who was vent dependent. The family was very dysfunctional, Dad was a drunk. The mom actually asked me to be the legal guardian of her daughter because I was the only 'normal' person she knew. She knew if something happened to her, that her husband would put her daughter in a nursing home. It was very awkward for me. I cared for this child but this was totally out of the question.

It's a delicate balance to remain professional yet to be supportive of the rest of the family. In my experience, we don't nurse only the child but often the entire family.

Kyasi

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What a coincidence a coworker and i were just venting about the same things. Crazy families, the super perfect nurse, parents thinking maid is in your title, days off are not allowed because they are entitled to a nurse and no one can cover for you because they are overworked, and that would mean mom and dad would have to take care of their own child. The list goes on and on. So i know where your coming from we all get frustrated.

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Specializes in Hospice / Ambulatory Clinic.

Intrestingly enough my agency sent a memo saying we couldn't use phones for anything but patient related matters or use laptops at all. This was sent a couple of months ago. I've never had a patient's family had a problem with me doing stuff on my iphone while pt is asleep. I never talk on my phone.

Sometimes it seems to memos are aimed at certain nurses that they don't want to talk to personally.

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Intrestingly enough my agency sent a memo saying we couldn't use phones for anything but patient related matters or use laptops at all. This was sent a couple of months ago. I've never had a patient's family had a problem with me doing stuff on my iphone while pt is asleep. I never talk on my phone.

Sometimes it seems to memos are aimed at certain nurses that they don't want to talk to personally.

This must be the case. They can say they have addressed a problem, and never revisit it if they can help it. And the nurses who wear that shoe can throw the memo away to continue to do what they want anyway.

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I can't seem to earn Mom's trust no matter what I do.:crying2: I started this case in March. We talk and seem to get along great. However, in the mornings she says "OK, I'm leaving now. See you later. I say goodbye and then she seems to hang around the house for another 30-45 minutes as though she wants to see how I act if I think she has left for the day. Recently, she went out of town. I thought to myself "Oh things must be doing better. She is having more trust in me. However, when she was out of town she had relatives dropping by the house and checking on the child. I am really hurt. I have always followed Mom's instructions when Mom is not home. I have heard other nurses say that they have a patient and that they hardly see a parent. How do I find a patient like that? I don't need all of this "constant observation."

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