Working ruined my dreams of wanting to become a nurse.

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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Ok I might just vent here so sorry if it turns to be long.

If you guys have read some of my previous posts then you know I really hate my job, in my head I've already quit long ago! Yes, I've applied at other facilities, gotten interviews but haven't been hired, I'm stuck and can't get out! I had a passion for nursing, I did everything I could to get the best grades from my last pre-nursing classes, physiology lab/lecture and microbiology. I was crazy about becoming a nurse, I wanted to make a difference, help people and feel a sense of fulfillment from doing something I love. I volunteered at a hospital which I loved and got my CNA license, currently waiting to get into nursing school.

Anyway, ever since I started working at this facility, I wonder if this is what nursing is all about, because I'm not happy. I spend parts of my day in the bathroom, crying, looking for jobs, praying to God that something better comes along and get me out of here. No one there is trained to take care of people, no one is a CNA, but me. People don't care about the residents. Let me say something, the only nurse there doesn't do ANYTHING, to be honest, I don't even see her as a nurse, she might have her title, but she's not a nurse to me.

This is the last thing that happen. Why I am done:

About 2 months ago, a resident had a very minor injury to her toe, got swollen and was somewhat painful at first, it gradually became worse. It then became more swollen and was too painful for her to stand up (she was able to walk) or even move her foot. That's when I filled a report hoping that the nurse would come check on her, she didn't. Her foot/leg were extremely swollen/red, and now her other foot was swollen, she was in excruciating pain to the point where she would scream and cry, we needed 3 people to get her up in the morning because she was unable to move her feet, at all. It took about an hour to get her ready in the morning. At this point, the nurse still hadn't seen her, so I filled another report, updating her on her condition and explaining that she required more assistant due to her legs becoming extremely swollen and painful, she had developed some type of blisters along with drainage from her bad leg. Nurse still didn't do anything, even though the other aids had TALKED to her in PERSON. This went on for a month and I was shocked/angry that the nurse wasn't doing anything, never even stopped by to see her. It wasn't till the resident had had enough and she LOOKED for the NURSE, at this time it was so bad that the "Nurse" said she had to go to the doctor, she did and never came back, she passed. :cry::(

I still hold a lot of anger towards that "nurse" because she never made the effort to see her and waited till it was too long:madface:. I feel very hurt because I was with her every minute she needed me, and assured her that she was going to get better, I want to cry every time I think about it because I felt like I was the nurse, actually I was her nurse. :nurse:

Why do I put so much effort into helping people, comforting them, making them laugh, listening to their stories, actually caring about their health when the nurse doesn't care what goes on, she is not involved.

That's the example of a nurse I see and wonder if this is what I have to deal with in other facilities/life after graduating nursing school. Am I "too compassionate"? I hate feeling like this. I don't want to be a nurse like her, no thanks. Ugh, now I'm looking for minimum wage job, because I don't want to be a CNA at the moment, this place crushed my dreams of being a nurse.

I meant to post this in the CNA thread.

Specializes in ER.

It sounds like you have a passion for nursing. I wouldn't let one lousy nurse ruin it.

For some reason you're having trouble coming across better in interviews. That's what you need to concentrate on. Are you coming across desperate? Are you being negative about your current workplace? What do you think YOU can do to improve your interview skills to land a better job?

So my advise is to try to make the best of the job you have, keep doing the right thing there, DON'T burn any bridges! Do some honest self assessment on what you can do to land a better job.

I can't speak for every nursing home facility obviously but yes they are generally bad. I can recount a dozen horror stories like yours. You can/should report this nurse for neglect.

When I was volunteering on an orthopedic floor in the hospital, the CNA told me that most of these patients come from nursing homes and they'll leave only to be back in a few weeks or months with even worse bed sores and other injuries. It is a big problem and pattern.

But you're going to see bad nurses in any facility. I heard a lot how nurses don't follow infection control policies and when I had my PCT clinical I witnessed that big time at an esteemed hospital.

Even if you do go on and become a nurse, there will be someone higher up who might not to the right thing. You have to find out what steps you can take to be that patient's advocate for each place you work and you really can prevent something like this in the future.

There need to be more compassionate nurses who care about patient well being, especially in facilities like the one you're working at.

I would definitely take heed of Emergent's advice, it's really important to be positive about your current work situation in interviews. Empathize the skills you've gained from it, explain how you have helped identify and resolve helped identify a patient having problems and reported it to the appropriate supervising nurse. Also, work on letting go of your anger and resentment and channel it into something positive (like reporting her!).

I also just recently got out of an awful, badly paid work situation that I had been stuck at for over 2 years (dog walking). I went to so many interviews and tried so many different fields. It was so hard just even getting the will to go to work most days.

The worst part was going on interviews and people would be like 'oh, you have my dream job!' and wouldn't take me seriously. I couldn't just quit though, because I have zero savings and had no way to pay bills. Ultimately I ended up calling up my old staffing agency and taking the first temp job they offered (not ideal, but it paid well and got me some really great experience). I'm so grateful that I was able to get out of the job when I did because I was about to have a complete nervous breakdown. Being stuck at a bad job is miserable and can ruin your life.

Even though I HATED dog walking (not the dogs though, they were mostly lovely), when I interviewed I still tried to give it a positive spin and emphasize the administrative, scheduling, and customer service aspects of it. I ended up getting an interview at an eating disorder treatment facility. I didn't accept the job offer because it wasn't enough money and I had decided to move anyway. But still, I don't doubt being able to talk about the positive aspects of the job (or at least act well enough about it), helped me get an offer after being stuck in an unrelated field for so long.

It might be worth it for your mental health to take a job in a different field for now while you wait for a better CNA opportunity to open up. Good luck and hang in there!

1) report this nurse to the board

2) this is not the norm

3) don't let this obviously horrendous facility ruin the whole profession for you

Good luck!

Specializes in ICU.

You mean absolutely no one looked at this woman for 2 months? This is a LTC facility? Who gave her her daily meds? Maybe if you could elaborate for us, I could understand better. Was it assisted living maybe? Why did nobody go above this nurses head? If it were me, man I would have been talking to every person that would listen in that facility. Especially if she was in so much pain and was that swollen she couldn't walk. That had to be a horrible death for that woman. I cannot absolutely imagine that for 2 months this woman had no other contact than with a CNA if she was bad enough that she needed to be in a facility. Our residents, where I did my clinical last semester, where very verbal. And if the student nurses or CNAs get done what they wanted, they hopped in their little wheelchairs and were at the front desk. Even the ones with dementia. So, I guess what I am asking is to paint a better picture here. Because if this is accurate the facility needs to be reported. I'm just having a hard time thinking that even in the worst facility this woman didn't even see a doc in 2 months. Doctors make rounds once a week at LTC facilities. They don't see every patient once a week but they are on a rotation and are in the facility once a week. So anything emergent gets seen right away.

Hello, first of all sorry that you are going through a rough patch. From what you have said in this post and based on other posts you have made, it sounds like you are suffering from burn out. Been there before myself at one facility that I worked at, was at the point that I was looking for jobs outside of the health field and would have taken one if I was able to find something that paid comparable to what I was making at the time. I was able to get a job offer at another facility for a bit lower pay, but it was worth it. I was able to get out of the stressful environment I was in, was able to start not feeling so stressed about work and was even able to gain back my passion for returning to school to finish my prenursing prerequitses and apply for the program at one of the community colleges nearby.

With working at the assisted living facility have you been able to keep your CNA certification current, they need to be renewed every two years and for renewal you need to have a certian amount of hours worked within the two year period to be elgiable for renewal. Make sure that your certification is still good and that you are fullfilling the requirements for renewal. Also when interviewing for other jobs, if you haven't make sure that you are focusing on the positivies of your current job ( not the negatives). From your previous posts you have expressed that you have never been happy about this job. Make sure that any negativity about your current position is not coming through when interviewing for other positions.

Finally with regards to the resident and the situation that you described. A few things that stood out to me, when the injury first occurred it was not reported. You describe that the injury was swollen and painful at first, even if it was not affecting her mobility at that time it should have been reported right away. Reporting an injury right away allows for early monitoring of the injury allowing for early action if it worsens. Also reporting an injury right away protects you if there is ever an investigation for possible abuse or negelect. As the injury worsened you stated that you continued to file reports, but never actually talked to the nurse, while other aides that you work with was able to talk to her in person. Even if the protocol at your place is to file a report for an injury like that, I would still make sure to talk to the nurse to communicate what is going on with the resident especially as things began to worsen. From your description it is not entirely clear if things continued for a month from the time that the resident's leg started to develop blisters and drainage or if that was from the time of the initial injury, but either way that is way too long. If the nurse wasn't seeing the patient or doing anything about the situation, than following the chain of command needed to be followed. I am not sure what the setup is at your place, but all of the places that I have worked at, I have a unit manager that I can go to. If things are still not resolved by the unit manager, there is the Director of Nursing and than the administrator. I can't say what exactly things are like within an assisted living facility since I have worked within skilled nursing facilities, but I am sure that there has to be other people that you can go to. I am sorry if any of this sounds harsh, but from your account of the events that happened, definitely there are some things that you could have done differently. Would it have changed the outcome of what happened, maybe or maybe not.

Specializes in ICU.
Hello, first of all sorry that you are going through a rough patch. From what you have said in this post and based on other posts you have made, it sounds like you are suffering from burn out. Been there before myself at one facility that I worked at, was at the point that I was looking for jobs outside of the health field and would have taken one if I was able to find something that paid comparable to what I was making at the time. I was able to get a job offer at another facility for a bit lower pay, but it was worth it. I was able to get out of the stressful environment I was in, was able to start not feeling so stressed about work and was even able to gain back my passion for returning to school to finish my prenursing prerequitses and apply for the program at one of the community colleges nearby.

With working at the assisted living facility have you been able to keep your CNA certification current, they need to be renewed every two years and for renewal you need to have a certian amount of hours worked within the two year period to be elgiable for renewal. Make sure that your certification is still good and that you are fullfilling the requirements for renewal. Also when interviewing for other jobs, if you haven't make sure that you are focusing on the positivies of your current job ( not the negatives). From your previous posts you have expressed that you have never been happy about this job. Make sure that any negativity about your current position is not coming through when interviewing for other positions.

Finally with regards to the resident and the situation that you described. A few things that stood out to me, when the injury first occurred it was not reported. You describe that the injury was swollen and painful at first, even if it was not affecting her mobility at that time it should have been reported right away. Reporting an injury right away allows for early monitoring of the injury allowing for early action if it worsens. Also reporting an injury right away protects you if there is ever an investigation for possible abuse or negelect. As the injury worsened you stated that you continued to file reports, but never actually talked to the nurse, while other aides that you work with was able to talk to her in person. Even if the protocol at your place is to file a report for an injury like that, I would still make sure to talk to the nurse to communicate what is going on with the resident especially as things began to worsen. From your description it is not entirely clear if things continued for a month from the time that the resident's leg started to develop blisters and drainage or if that was from the time of the initial injury, but either way that is way too long. If the nurse wasn't seeing the patient or doing anything about the situation, than following the chain of command needed to be followed. I am not sure what the setup is at your place, but all of the places that I have worked at, I have a unit manager that I can go to. If things are still not resolved by the unit manager, there is the Director of Nursing and than the administrator. I can't say what exactly things are like within an assisted living facility since I have worked within skilled nursing facilities, but I am sure that there has to be other people that you can go to. I am sorry if any of this sounds harsh, but from your account of the events that happened, definitely there are some things that you could have done differently. Would it have changed the outcome of what happened, maybe or maybe not.

This. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this. I don't want to kick her while she is down at all, I'm just upset somebody died from something preventable.

Hello, first of all sorry that you are going through a rough patch. From what you have said in this post and based on other posts you have made, it sounds like you are suffering from burn out. Been there before myself at one facility that I worked at, was at the point that I was looking for jobs outside of the health field and would have taken one if I was able to find something that paid comparable to what I was making at the time. I was able to get a job offer at another facility for a bit lower pay, but it was worth it. I was able to get out of the stressful environment I was in, was able to start not feeling so stressed about work and was even able to gain back my passion for returning to school to finish my prenursing prerequitses and apply for the program at one of the community colleges nearby.

With working at the assisted living facility have you been able to keep your CNA certification current, they need to be renewed every two years and for renewal you need to have a certian amount of hours worked within the two year period to be elgiable for renewal. Make sure that your certification is still good and that you are fullfilling the requirements for renewal. Also when interviewing for other jobs, if you haven't make sure that you are focusing on the positivies of your current job ( not the negatives). From your previous posts you have expressed that you have never been happy about this job. Make sure that any negativity about your current position is not coming through when interviewing for other positions.

Finally with regards to the resident and the situation that you described. A few things that stood out to me, when the injury first occurred it was not reported. You describe that the injury was swollen and painful at first, even if it was not affecting her mobility at that time it should have been reported right away. Reporting an injury right away allows for early monitoring of the injury allowing for early action if it worsens. Also reporting an injury right away protects you if there is ever an investigation for possible abuse or negelect. As the injury worsened you stated that you continued to file reports, but never actually talked to the nurse, while other aides that you work with was able to talk to her in person. Even if the protocol at your place is to file a report for an injury like that, I would still make sure to talk to the nurse to communicate what is going on with the resident especially as things began to worsen. From your description it is not entirely clear if things continued for a month from the time that the resident's leg started to develop blisters and drainage or if that was from the time of the initial injury, but either way that is way too long. If the nurse wasn't seeing the patient or doing anything about the situation, than following the chain of command needed to be followed. I am not sure what the setup is at your place, but all of the places that I have worked at, I have a unit manager that I can go to. If things are still not resolved by the unit manager, there is the Director of Nursing and than the administrator. I can't say what exactly things are like within an assisted living facility since I have worked within skilled nursing facilities, but I am sure that there has to be other people that you can go to. I am sorry if any of this sounds harsh, but from your account of the events that happened, definitely there are some things that you could have done differently. Would it have changed the outcome of what happened, maybe or maybe not.

Does burn out happen on the first day of training? Literally, hated the job since day one :( I thought with time I was going to like it, but I was only able to see all the wrong things people were doing, wrong in all ways.

I do feel very guilty because I wish I could have done more. This "nurse" is very intimidating to me, every time I go into her office to talk to her about a resident she sighs and doesn't seem to care or want to talk about their health. She gives short answers with sort of an attitude but doesn't make the effort to be involved with the residents. Whenever I or other residents come to her she seems bothered. Yes, she went about 2 months with her legs becoming worse and not being seen :( ugh, I hate this and that's why I want to take a break from CNA. It's affecting my mental state and my relationship with my boyfriend because overall I am not happy, sorry, I'm just rambling now.

This. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this. I don't want to kick her while she is down at all, I'm just upset somebody died from something preventable.

I am very angry, and feel depressed that this was totally preventable and I tried the best I could. I thought I was doing the right thing by reporting it and having it on paper multiple times.

Does burn out happen on the first day of training? Literally, hated the job since day one :( I thought with time I was going to like it, but I was only able to see all the wrong things people were doing, wrong in all ways.

I do feel very guilty because I wish I could have done more. This "nurse" is very intimidating to me, every time I go into her office to talk to her about a resident she sighs and doesn't seem to care or want to talk about their health. She gives short answers with sort of an attitude but doesn't make the effort to be involved with the residents. Whenever I or other residents come to her she seems bothered. Yes, she went about 2 months with her legs becoming worse and not being seen :( ugh, I hate this and that's why I want to take a break from CNA. It's affecting my mental state and my relationship with my boyfriend because overall I am not happy, sorry, I'm just rambling now.

From looking at your previous posts, this place in particular you have expressed you ave never been happy with especiallly since having your CNA certification to work as an aid there is not a requirement. Some of it may be your own attitutude towards the place from the beginning, which your posts have dated back a couple of years. Although I would still stand by my thought that you are experiencing some burn out. From previous threads you have mentioned several residents who have passed. How have you been able to handle their passing? If they were someone who you might have had a connection with, have you been able to grieve their passing and able to move forward knowing that depending on what their health conditions were they are in a better place now?

For the nurse, first there are some people who are always going to give the impression that other people bother them, but it is also very possible that she may be overworked, especially if she is the only nurse at this assisted living facility and depending on the number of residents that live there. The issue is even if she is feeling overworked herself, when changes occur in a resident that is causing new pain and affecting her mobility, things should have been investigated.

A break from working as a CNA may be a good choice for you at this time. This is decisiion that you will have to make for yourself. I would still encourage you to seek a job at another place if you want to do CNA work, but make sure your expectations of what the job entails are accurate. Much of what you are already doing within the assisted living place is going to be the same of what you would do within a skilled nursing facility. A change in environment may be what you need, but than you may also find that the things that bother you at your current place also end up bothering you at a new place.

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