Words of motivation…or realistic advice?

[chrismadaisy]

Hello, a week or so ago I introduced myself. I am still new and don't get to post or reply often, but my situation has become desperate and any advice would be helpful.

I started my Spring quarter on April 3, a week after my husband went out of town for work. Since then my time is spent between taking 15 credit hours, working part-time, and taking care of a 7 year-old and 2 year-old.

I am in recovery of a major depressive and anxiety disorder (last year I was hospitalized twice) and have managed best without medication. Up until this week, everything was going well. My youngest was in day care M, W, F for 4 hours a day and my oldest attends school until 3 pm. I have a B average in NUTR101 and Math146 and an A in ENG101.

I had been going to therapy twice a week, but last month my therapist went on a sudden leave and last week her office (after several rescheduled appointments) informed me she will not be back for 3 months minimum. I have since found another therapist and will see her once a week. However, something tragic happened with day care and yesterday, it was decided the little one will be home with me again.

At home I do all of the normal things like cook, clean, do laundry, help with homework, take the kids out, etc. I have no time to myself and most times I am okay with that, but I find that lately I am really testy and sad. I know that my anxiety is coming back—I had a panic attack over the weekend—and I am doing everything I can to keep it at bay, including looking to start meds again.

This morning I decided to drop all classes, after my toddler ruined an assignment I had been working on for 5.5 hours. I am sure it sounds petty, but Statistics has been quite the struggle (mostly because of time management), but I am able to stay afloat. After today, it feels like I should just hang it up. My mother suggested it last week and I shut the idea down. Now, it seems like age has definitely taught her better.

Should I hold off another eternity? Is anyone able to offer encouragement? I am drowning here.

[Simplistic]

I am going to be completely honest with you. Nursing school is not for the faint of the heart. There will be weeks where you will come home and break down because you are so overwhelmed with all the stuff you need to learn/do. You really have to be motivated in nursing school; you cant just "quit" because you did poorly on an exam or things are not going your way.

[37changes, ASN, RN]

Taking care of a 7- and 2-year-old, and a home, IS a full-time job, in and of itself -- especially when you struggle with depression and anxiety. You are working part-time on top of that? And your husband is out of town? And 15 credit hours of school?

{shudder}

You know your limit, and you have reached it.

Have you already dropped all of the classes? Is there just one you can complete? Does it have to be all or nothing?

What I can tell you is that it does get easier as the kids get older -- and if your dream / goal is nursing, it will still be there.

[chrismadaisy]

I'm sure my struggle with letting go (once again) is that it seems it never works out and I want it to work out.

I don't quit at much of anything but it seems that school always has to be put on the back burner. You're right--it will always be there.

[FutureNurseInfo]

I can truly feel for you. I have no kids, but I am a teacher of 7 years and I know what a stressful life it can be taking care of them 24/7. My advice to you is, like PP mentioned, drop the course/s that you are for sure failing. Stick to the course/s you are doing reasonably well. I know Stats is hard, because I am in one now and the project I have been working on is 20 % of the entire grade!!! I do not know how old you are, but if you are relatively young, you may postpone your schooling, if this seems like the only option for you. All in all, try to take care of your emotional health, because it is very important. Like others have said, nursing school is a trillion times harder experience and if your mental health is not on point, you will not survive it.