Hello, a week or so ago I introduced myself. I am still new and don't get to post or reply often, but my situation has become desperate and any advice would be helpful.
I started my Spring quarter on April 3, a week after my husband went out of town for work. Since then my time is spent between taking 15 credit hours, working part-time, and taking care of a 7 year-old and 2 year-old.
I am in recovery of a major depressive and anxiety disorder (last year I was hospitalized twice) and have managed best without medication. Up until this week, everything was going well. My youngest was in day care M, W, F for 4 hours a day and my oldest attends school until 3 pm. I have a B average in NUTR101 and Math146 and an A in ENG101.
I had been going to therapy twice a week, but last month my therapist went on a sudden leave and last week her office (after several rescheduled appointments) informed me she will not be back for 3 months minimum. I have since found another therapist and will see her once a week. However, something tragic happened with day care and yesterday, it was decided the little one will be home with me again.
At home I do all of the normal things like cook, clean, do laundry, help with homework, take the kids out, etc. I have no time to myself and most times I am okay with that, but I find that lately I am really testy and sad. I know that my anxiety is coming backâ€”I had a panic attack over the weekendâ€”and I am doing everything I can to keep it at bay, including looking to start meds again.
This morning I decided to drop all classes, after my toddler ruined an assignment I had been working on for 5.5 hours. I am sure it sounds petty, but Statistics has been quite the struggle (mostly because of time management), but I am able to stay afloat. After today, it feels like I should just hang it up. My mother suggested it last week and I shut the idea down. Now, it seems like age has definitely taught her better.
Should I hold off another eternity? Is anyone able to offer encouragement? I am drowning here.