What to do?

[lw34]

I'm not sure what to do. I'm currently a pre-nursing student and have a year of pre-reqs. left before applying to clinicals. The reason that I am becoming a nurse is because my husband wants me to. Now please don't get me wrong he's a kind and loving man. He just has his heart set on this. However, I absolutely HATE everything about what nursing requires. I don't want to be a guinnea pig in clinicals (which is required at the school in my area). I don't want to do IV's on anyone or let a student practice on me. I know this sounds stupid but I have a paralyzing fear of needles. Even looking at one causes me to hyperventilate so giving shots is out of the question. I don't want to see anyone die. I don't want to be responsible for anyone's life or death decisions. What is the real killer is that I'm on the Dean's List and have A's in all my pre-nursing classes. I feel awful that I don't want to fufill his dreams and also terrible that someone else would love to have my place in class. I know if I tell him this it'll destroy him. I have a kind heart and hate to see anyone suffer and medicine interests me but I just don't know what to do.

[zoe92]

Don't become a nurse because your husband says so. Nursing is still not the safest career & you must really want to do it, otherwise it is not worth the hassle. I live in Maryland & know quite a few people with criminal justice degrees. Only two are parole officers. The rest got involved working in the government (federal & state). I also know a couple people who are court commissioners (also called magistrates & justice of the peace). There are a lot of options out there. I would recommend finishing your last semester of school & get that bachelor's! It'll open doors.

[lw34]

Thank you all so much for your help. I think I'll go back to C.J. and pursue my dream.

[queserasera, RN]

Hi! We're in 2013 and you don't have to listen to what your husband wants you to do!

You can be anything... if you want to be a probation officer, do it.

If you want to make balloon animals for a living, go for it.

Your life is yours, no matter how kid and caring your husband is persuing a career you don't want because he wants you to will just make you hate him for it later.

[Nurse2B2016]

I am sorry but a kind and loving husband would not threaten to divorce you if you pursued your dream. Please do not go to nursing school just to please him. You will be miserable. Your husband sounds extremely controlling. You need to sit down with him and have a long talk about your future.

Couldn't have said it better. He is controlling. And I would do what makes you happy bc it sounds like no matter what he will threaten divorce for any thing u do in life he isn't happy woth. with.

[Peninah7]

Satisfy YOUR dreams, do what your heart desires, you deserve it!! And whoever doesn't agree or approve of what makes YOU HAPPY and COMFORTABLE maybe doesn't deserve you. I'm defiantley on the outside looking in, but maybe HE should pursue a nursing career and make himself happy.

[makingstrides]

This is really weird.

[itsnowornever, BSN, RN]

My husband is a police officer and responded to an ADW at an ER, why? Because a patient pulled a knife and nearly stabbed a nurse. She was safe, but the cops going in to get him got slashed a bit. It's not entirely a safe job.

[violetgirl]

Thank you all so much for your help. I think I'll go back to C.J. and pursue my dream.

Good for you!!!

[edimo]

My husband is a police officer and responded to an ADW at an ER why? Because a patient pulled a knife and nearly stabbed a nurse. She was safe, but the cops going in to get him got slashed a bit. It's not entirely a safe job.[/quote']

Well there you go; maybe this incident will open his eyes a little more and he'll accept your dreams and actually encourage you. Being a front line worker is no joke and no safer than some other jobs out there but your passions dictate the path to follow. Good for you for going back to CJ!

[Saysfaa]

I would not treat marriage so lightly.... as both of you seem to be doing in the teeny tiny blip we can see in a couple of posts.

It is reasonable for a husband to be concerned about his wife's safety.

And to have real input in her career choices as they both should have in nearly every aspect of life.

You say you are interested in medicine - there are many careers in medicine that have no contact with needles or even sightings of them.

Perhaps you could both explore these other careers rather than ignoring/dismissing each other's concerns.

[DoeRN]

This is really weird.

I think so too. Is this a fake post? If not, then I personally can't not grasp why someone would allow someone else to dictate their life. Now I know I have an extremely independent (and rare) personality type but still come on now. If this is true then this is sad. Don't do something you don't want to do to please him.

And nursing is NOT safe and he may still get that call. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a code called over the PA system because a person is being aggressive with staff. I've never been assaulted at work but would have been if I hadn't taken a healthcare worker defense class that I was required to attend when I was a Clinical Manager. I deflected a punch that was being thrown at me.

If you enjoy CJ then continue with that. Not saying not to cause disharmony in your marriage but apparently disharmony is already there. You can compromise, go for CJ but not a probation officer or corrections officer. I have a friend who works with under served women with her CJ degree. There are many things you can do with that degree besides being a PO or CO.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

[itsnowornever, BSN, RN]

Well there you go; maybe this incident will open his eyes a little more and he'll accept your dreams and actually encourage you. Being a front line worker is no joke and no safer than some other jobs out there but your passions dictate the path to follow. Good for you for going back to CJ!

I wasn't the OP LOL. My husband would encourage whatever my dream was, practical or ridiculous!