What gives with the unsupportive spouses?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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ok... I'm relatively new to this, but I have noticed several people posting about unsupportive spouses. What is up with that? I know this does happen despite the fact it is 2012 and we should have progressed far beyond this, but I'm surprised at how many people I have seen mention an unsupportive spouse! Has anyone else noticed too many people say they have a spouse who does not support them?

Maybe I'm particularly independent because my Mom who is a nurse of 30 plus years, raised me as a single parent over half the time since my parents split and my Dad is a Merchant Marine? Maybe it is something about us New England gals? Maybe I'm simply soured from my divorce and have little faith in depending on men who do often leave when you least expect it! Sadly, even the most 'perfect' marriages fail. Maybe I'm extremely stubborn and just flat out refuse to feel like someone else has more control over my life than I do.

I just can't stand the thought of not being able to support myself or my children whenever I have them. I can't stand the thought of anyone standing in my way! and it ticks me off that so many people are fighting this battle they surely should not have to fight! I'm the kind of person who will fight ten times harder if you tell me no, and sometimes I wish I could donate some of my attitude problem to others who need support.

So here is my advice. Don't take that crap! Why should your spouse be the only one who receives emotional support for their career? or why should your spouse only support you if you do as they wish with your life? they shouldn't!!! Follow your Nursing dreams and anyone who truly loves you will find a way to be supportive, even if it is difficult for them at first. Do what you need to do to be able to support yourself and your children. Should you find yourself with out your spouse for any reason, you will be so glad you did. Having a nursing career is not a threat to anyone's family, manhood, relationship, or marriage if the spouse doesn't make it that way!

when my husband met me he knew I had educational goals to meet. We got married and I ended up taking hiatus from school. I was a stay at home mom for 5 years. When i buckled down and decided to go back to school, he t=had a hard time. most of our fights are him making me feel like a bad mom for not being there like I used to, which really sucks because i see it as a sacrafise. We are not well off and with two solid incomes can buy a house and live better then pay check to pay check... also, my husband didn't go to college and I know even though he doesn't have the desire to attend college he is jealous. IM not gonna stop for him. my kids and family are only gonna benefit

That's the thing. You are trying to do what it takes to contribute to your family--- before it was staying at home and now it's going to college to that you can learn things which will allow you to earn a decent living for your family. Some men are too macho for their own good. It is different for a man to feel that some of the control (income providing) is somehow taken away from him. What he (and my husband) needs to understand is that you are ADDING and not taking anything away. It's not a bad thing. Maybe it's just that they have fear of what they are not accustomed to.

I guess it's different for me because when I met my boyfriend I was one of his lateral superiors and made more money than him. I supported him through a failed workers comp case and permanent injury throughout most of our relationships. Up until now, I was the primary breadwinner, and was a stay at home mom for 10 months after having our second daughter. I have been eyeing a nursing career for 3 years now and we are finally in a place that I could pursue it without putting my family's financial situation at too great a peril. HOW EVER we are going into this is eyes wide open. I've done tons of research and have been lurking on this website long enough to know how hard this is going to be. It's a decision we made TOGETHER for me to go back to school and there is no surprise or frustration when I ask him to do things that I normally do. I think maybe some couples go into this not really knowing what to expect or the stress that will almost most assuredly comes with it. Although it is a move for ME I know it affects US, and I can see how people go into this not realizing that, leaving a spouse feeling blindsided and or resentful. Although a really good spouse /partner will adapt and support. So consider it a test of sorts, of the relationship in the sense of how you prepare and manage for it, and of your partner, if they can't or won't support you through this they probably aren't worth it in the long term

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