Talked out of nursing by others and myself.... - page 8

by radicalsenseofhope

9,331 Visits | 82 Comments

I need some encouragement and maybe a kick in the pants.... Back in 1999, I was a 3.9 gpa pre-nursing/pre-med major and loving it. I dreamed of being a doctor or a nurse practitioner working in primary care someday. In 2000 I... Read More


  1. 0
    Quote from samadams8
    Why should you listen to other, experienced nurses? I don't know. Maybe b/c they have decades of experience, and they have pretty much seen it all.



    I will tell you this, and then I am done here. God bless you and the best to you; but listen. Only go into nursing if you cannot see yourself doing ANYTHING, and I do mean, ANYTHING ELSE. It's a similar question to what pre-meds need to ask themselves, except that the upfront money and time commitment are NO WHERE near the same; thus this is a much bigger question for pre-meds.

    Having said that, please, if you move forward with nursing, know that with the good sides of things, there are a TON of not-so-good things--chiefly, the lack of adminstrative support, overall--and in general--and more backstabbing and subtle infighting and sabatoge that you might ever consider possible. YOU MAY luck out, or at least you may not see it initially. But b/c there is so much underhanded nonsense, on top of other natural stressors to the work, you MUST protect yourself. Therefore, I STRONGLY recommend that you get experience after school and have more than one nursing position. This is better protection IMHO than simply working in a unionized hospital.

    I want you to go in with your eyes wide open, but I know that is only possible to the degree one gets experience in the field. Yes, some nurses ****** just to ******. Some people don't like the essential nature of being a nurse, thus, anywhere they work will be crap to them. But I am NOT talking about those people. I am talking about people that actually LOVED what they did/do as professional nurses. Sadly, the way things are run, that get sucked out of even the best, most enthusiastic of nurses--or those nurses simply become bullies themselves. The important thing is to always be able to work, but regardless of what you think or what others say--even Nurse Mgers or HR people, guess what? Many if not most nurses get eliminated, terminated, fired from positions, even though they were good nurses or at the least, has the potential to be. This is worse now that it ever has been, and it has always been an issues for as long as I have been a nurse (2 decades).

    Protect yourself. The reality is, you can't protect your patients if you can't protect yourself. It doesn't take much to get screwed in this field, and I am NOT kidding. I have seen soooooooooo many good and great nurses get screwed over in this field. So if you really love and can't see yourself doing anything else, go for it. But make sure you protect your ability to work--and that begins with your practicuums/clinicals in school. You can get top grades, if you somehow get screwed during a clinical, you can find that you may not make it through the program, or you may need a reference, and find that some instructor wasn't as positive about you as you thought. This wasn't an issue for me, b/c my mom was a nurse, and she sort of clued me into things before I started. Some students are whiney, don't take initiative, or they are either too passive or the other extreme, ridiculously overbearing, or just plain not careful. But since you have been around the block, you will not be as easily intimidated, and you should be going in with more wisdom about how the real world works.

    Good luck and Blessings and the Best to you.

    It's just not fair IMHO to give people a head's up about what they are going into. ONLY YOU can decide if this is right for you, and if you can or can't see yourself doing anything else.

    Thank you so much. I truly appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom and experience with me. All of the above, (and my own fears), have kept me out of nursing for over 10 years now. My mom is an LPN, and has been for over 20 years, and recently lost her job when her employer "threw her under the bus" for something she had no control over. She was fired. I've certainly seen the ugly side of nursing up close and personal. That said, she now has the nursing job of her dreams. So I've also seen the happy side of nursing.

    No matter what, I just keep coming back to the idea of nursing. I've known that I wanted to be a nurse since my first week working as a nurse aid. A resident starting puking. Helping her was one of those moments where I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. I also "specialized" in dealing with all the "difficult" residents. The "cranky" ones, the "angry" ones, the "ugly" ones, the actively dying ones.....the ones that no one else wanted to deal with or talk to. Those experiences taught me about the worth and value of all human life and I discovered that I had a depth of compassion that would serve me well in the field of nursing.

    I have a strong love of science coupled with an intense desire to work directly with people, in one on one type situations, helping them to learn about their own bodies. I really would like to work as a family nurse practitioner in primary care someday, bringing more affordable health care to my inner-city neighborhoods.

    I truly can't imagine myself in any other career although I sure have tried to talk myself into alternatives over the years. I thought maybe I would do social work, and while I loved the personal interactions there wasn't enough science of the human body involved. For example, if someone complained of a stomachache keeping them up at night because of a medication change, I found myself wanting to be more involved in helping them directly with that. I thought maybe I could do occupational therapy, but again, too far removed from the science of the body. I'm too interested in medicine and the whole person to just focus on occupational therapy or mental health or any one specific thing. I want to teach people how to live healthier lives, whatever that means for each individual person and their own personal goals of health and wellness. I want to walk alongside them on their journey as a guide and an aid.

    I thought maybe I would just become an accountant and forgo all the problems in health care altogether, but I had no passion for it. There was no meaning. I'm an INFJ personality type and my career has to fit my passion and vision for how I'm supposed to serve the world.

    I know my calling is public health in some fashion. Most recently I thought I could make that work as a biological anthropologist discovering some mysteries behind what determines health and wellness as a species. But looking ahead I can't see myself in research alone without some type of "patient" contact in a one-on-one teaching/helping type of relationship, and much of what I'm looking at doing as an anthropologist still lacks the medical/clinical background that I want. Every avenue I look down, I see myself lacking that clinical understanding of the human body and lacking that human interaction that I seek.

    I can't deny that I have a strong desire to promote health and wellness in my community in a fashion that has me intimately relating with and serving people; and intimately working with and exploring the science of the human body in its vast entirety (and then using that knowledge to teach others and improve lives). I keep trying to find a way to work in health care without working in health care and I keep coming up short, and ending up right where I started-nursing.

    So I find myself stuck a nurse at heart, knowing that the reality of the field is far from what it should be. What else can I do but give it a try and see what I can make happen?

    Wow, I hadn't intended to type so much. I tend to think "out loud" through writing and I want to thank you so very much for being the spark that led me to do this "thinking." I've obviously got much on my mind and much more to ponder. It is no easy decision to be sure. I'm taking the rest of this school year to decide for sure what my next move is.

    Thanks again.
  2. 1
    Truly, the best to you. Seems like you have some inside insight too. If you feel this strongly, go forward and feel good about it. Just look out for you and protect yourself and your practice.
    radicalsenseofhope likes this.
  3. 0
    Go with your heart, Good luck to you
  4. 0
    Quote from thats so awesome
    Go with your heart, Good luck to you
    I suppose you are right. In my heart I know what to do. I just need to stop and listen to it for a while.
  5. 0
    I've decided to go for it. This summer I start finishing up what I need to apply. I'm either going to enter a part time LPN program, or do the ADN program at my community college. Both are cheap and have excellent reputations and NCLEX pass rates.

    Thank you so much to all who commented! I appreciate your wise words!
  6. 0
    I think to me the biggest thing you are feeling is the age-factor. You no longer feel like that self-empowered high-school grad who the world was their oyster, so "dreaming" has become difficult for you - now that you are married w/kids. Inside of you is still that young girl who wants to pursue her dreams - so really you need to ask yourself if you can regret not going through the nursing program.

    Everyone on this board including yourself, must know the difficulties of going through it - the workload, the stress, the inconveniences, etc. It's great that you wont financially struggle but I would take away all the obstacles and ask yourself first - if you can see living your life never having become a RN or MD.

    It's great that you consulted your husband, family and friends, but you need to ask yourself and stay with that answer. You are the only one after all who will pay the price.
  7. 0
    sending this from my phone so i apologize in advance for my lack of punctuation...

    i have been following this thread and i am really glad to read that you.have decided to go for it. it is obvious that you are an intelligent and compassionate person from reading your posts. i have no doubt.that you will be a wonderful nurse.

    i am a mid life, career changing, pre-nursing student. i had a career and BS in business administration for many years before becoming a sahm/substitute teacher.

    like you, my interest in nursing/the medical field has always been there. i am the daughter of a retired RN and began perusing medical books at a very young age.

    life happens... very few of us know what we want to do at 18 and everything lines up perfectly. it really is true that you are never too old to learn or reinvent yourself.

    i also appreciate the comments of the experienced nurse and the time it took to fully explain her/his position. about a year ago i started a thread about starting nursing school in my 40s, and someone (i will assume this person was quite young) posted two words "too old.". he or she posted them a few times in the same thread, actually. well, let me tell you, that was the best motivator of all! nobody was going to tell me i'm too old to learn and to help people!

    again, i am delighted to read that there is going to be another intelligent, caring, mature, passionate nurse in our country's future. WTG!
  8. 0
    Quote from mintygirl
    I think to me the biggest thing you are feeling is the age-factor. You no longer feel like that self-empowered high-school grad who the world was their oyster, so "dreaming" has become difficult for you - now that you are married w/kids. Inside of you is still that young girl who wants to pursue her dreams - so really you need to ask yourself if you can regret not going through the nursing program.

    Everyone on this board including yourself, must know the difficulties of going through it - the workload, the stress, the inconveniences, etc. It's great that you wont financially struggle but I would take away all the obstacles and ask yourself first - if you can see living your life never having become a RN or MD.

    It's great that you consulted your husband, family and friends, but you need to ask yourself and stay with that answer. You are the only one after all who will pay the price.
    Yes, age is a big factor. I'm not getting any younger and if I'm gonna finally do it, now is as good as time as any. If I wait too long, my dreams will become regrets. Thanks for you advice! :-)
  9. 0
    Quote from pamelacnj
    sending this from my phone so i apologize in advance for my lack of punctuation...

    i have been following this thread and i am really glad to read that you.have decided to go for it. it is obvious that you are an intelligent and compassionate person from reading your posts. i have no doubt.that you will be a wonderful nurse.

    i am a mid life, career changing, pre-nursing student. i had a career and BS in business administration for many years before becoming a sahm/substitute teacher.

    like you, my interest in nursing/the medical field has always been there. i am the daughter of a retired RN and began perusing medical books at a very young age.

    life happens... very few of us know what we want to do at 18 and everything lines up perfectly. it really is true that you are never too old to learn or reinvent yourself.

    i also appreciate the comments of the experienced nurse and the time it took to fully explain her/his position. about a year ago i started a thread about starting nursing school in my 40s, and someone (i will assume this person was quite young) posted two words "too old.". he or she posted them a few times in the same thread, actually. well, let me tell you, that was the best motivator of all! nobody was going to tell me i'm too old to learn and to help people!

    again, i am delighted to read that there is going to be another intelligent, caring, mature, passionate nurse in our country's future. WTG!
    Thank you so much for your lovely compliments, encouragement, and advice. Also, thanks for sharing your personal experience. Good luck with pursuing your dreams! You are certainly not too old! :-)
  10. 0
    Just wanted to come back and update. My husband's schedule has become a little fuller, taking away from his ability to help as often with homeschooling. After some serious thought, I've decided to wait until both kids graduate from high school (in 8 years) before pursuing my RN. In the meantime, I'm going to go to school part time for my bachelor's in social work and then work part time for a while. Being a mom is my first priority, so I will focus on that for the next 8 years, and then start the nursing leg of my journey. Thanks again to all who commented and helped me evaluate my goals! :-)


Top