I Never Thought They'd HATE Me...

[c3p0]

I finally decided to share with my friends the specialties I'm considering getting into once I complete nursing school, which are:

- Pediatric Oncology

- General Oncology

- Labor & Delivery

- Psych

- Correctional Facilities

Now, I knew to expect a lot of mixed reactions to possibly working in a prison, but what actually happened blew my mind.

I started getting emails and calls from friends asking "Why on Earth would you want to be a nurse?" and "Cortney, you're such a good writer, why would you waste that and go into nursing?" ((Evidently they are just now catching on to the idea that I want to be a nurse, after I've spent the last six months talking about it...)) Alright, I kinda saw this one coming. No one is really too crazy about me becoming a nurse except my father, grandfather, & boyfriend, they're thrilled for me. I let it roll off my back. The thing that really got to me? When I logged on to AIM that night, I started getting hate IMs from FOUR different people, saying things like "You sick ****, why would you want to work around dying children, I hope you rot in hell!" and "I hope one of those loonies in the psych ward puts you out of your miserable existence". The brunt of it was regarding pediatric oncology, and how I am a sick, demented person for wanting to care for children with cancer. But you get the picture...

((Surprisingly enough, I still haven't gotten any comments about the Corrections thing!))

I understand that some people are never going to be supportive of my wanting to be a nurse, and I accept that, I'm not one to need everyone's approval before I do something that I feel is right. It was just those four people... The fact that four people I KNOW on a personal level feel that much HATE toward me for something I want to do to help care for people...

I don't know why I'm telling all of you this... Maybe I'm just wondering if you guys have faced the same emotional road blocks from people you thought loved you.

Thanks, guys.

[guiltysins]

I don't get people who bash nursing. I'm sure they really don't disrespect those people that take care of their behinds when they are in the hospital. If everyone thought the way they did we wouldn't have any nurses and then who would take care of them when they're in the hospital? Doctors? Well no because doctors also work with sick people so I guess they would disapprove of doctors as well. So I guess they just think people are suppose to get sick and just die?

My going into nursing did surprise a few people, only because I seemed so interested in computers during high school which I was but I never even considered that a career and a few of my fellow nursing buddies make a face sometimes when I tell them I wanna work in L&D and say "Why would you wanna look at *insert p word here* all day?" But it hasn't really gone much further than that.

[FLDoula]

My going into nursing did surprise a few people, only because I seemed so interested in computers during high school which I was but I never even considered that a career and a few of my fellow nursing buddies make a face sometimes when I tell them I wanna work in L&D and say "Why would you wanna look at *insert p word here* all day?" But it hasn't really gone much further than that.

They probably say that because they have not witnessed the miracle of birth and had the pleasure of being in a woman's birth space as she brings a new life into the world. I'm a Birth Doula/Childbirth Educator and Lactation Counselor and I love being able to help/work with women and their families prenatally, during labor/birth, and postpartum.

[rn/writer, RN]

When you get a weird reaction from someone about becoming (or being) a nurse, consider the following.

It could be a case of sour grapes. They might envy you for having a job that matters and that pays better than many others. They could be jealous that you have found something you feel passionate about and have the courage to pursue. Some folks develop a nasty attitude toward a member of their circle breaking away from what they consider normal and acceptable and they don't want you feeling too good about yourself or your choices.

They could be freaked because they don't know what they want out of life, and they feel that your determination shines a spotlight on their confusion or lack of ambition. If they can talk you out of setting a worthy goal and achieving it, they can continue to wallow in the mud puddle and not feel challenged by your example.

This idea also seems likely because of the specialty choices you mentioned--there are a good many people (of all ages) who go a little cuckoo when there is mention of death, dying or anything else that stirs up strong emotions. They don't want to think about these things. Period. And they really don't want to think about them in relation to children. Why? Because they are afraid and don't have a clue about how to deal with that fear. They'd rather run screaming from the entire subject than face their own mortality.

In light of such soul-rattling insecurity, they cannot fathom why anyone would choose to be around dying children. It doesn't occur to them that lots of cancer kids go on to live happy lives. Nor do they understand that even the ones who succumb need love and support and high quality nursing skills to make the most of the time they have. They don't see the bond that develops between the medical staff and the families and the satisfaction that can result from knowing you made their lives better during a trying time. Nope, as soon as words like cancer or death come in the door, they'd rather jump out the window--ridiculing you as they dive--than stick around and resolve their own internal conflicts.

You represent a threat to such people. As long as they can attack or cheapen what you do, they don't have to take a closer look at what's got them all tied up in knots.

Are they jerks? They're certainly acting that way, but only you know whether they are worth trying to salvage in your life. If you have considered them friends in the past, it could be a case of "knee-jerk reaction" rather than out-and-out jerkdom. If you are strong in your convictions about what you want to do, step away without anger and let the conflict cool. Anyone who is really a friend will recognize that you have pulled back and seek you out. This could be a chance for you to challenge someone you care about in a healthy way.

If not, that's all right, too.

As hard as it might be, try not to judge the ones who have shown you such disrespect. Their actions fall far short of friendship, but they, as people, may simple lack your mature outlook and inner security.

Focus mainly on your goals and look for people in your life who "get it." Come here for information and encouragement. See if you can volunteer in some of the places you'd be interested in working, or a Ronald McDonald house or other group that offers support to medically-challenged families. Do whatever it takes to nurture your own spirit and find inspiration.

We need nurses like you. I hope your dreams come true.

[Ninjababe]

All I can say is that if it wasn't for the health care from the nurses and doctors from Doctors without Borders, I wouldn't have survived the refugee camps. The refugee camp that I grew up in had a high mortality rate before we were able to received help from the many nurses and doctors that volunteer to help.

Apart from my husband, my friends were the first people to take me out for dinner when they found out I passed my CNA exam and now they are estatic that I will be starting nursing school soon. I am the only one of my friends majoring in nursing and they couldn't be more helpful and proud of my decision.

You pick a noble profession and we all applaud you for your decision. Don't let anyone bring you down for a noble career. Keep looking foward and let go of those toxic people in your life.

[nikkiv723]

This is incredibly sad, and unbelievable on the part of the "friends" who said such hurtful and ignorant things to you.

I think you already know in your heart that you are a much better and stronger person to be committed to caring for other people (no matter what the specialty) nursing is something that is not for everyone (thankfully- honestly would not want a nurse with that kind of outlook on life and their ability to help people).

No matter what specialty you choose, you have made an incredibly brave and wonderful decision to be a nurse.

I am fortunate, I have not heard any negative feedback to my decision to pursue nursing, in fact the people in my life all have the same profound respect and admiration for those who choose to devote themselves to helping heal people.

You will be a great nurse, and those "friends" can accept your choice, or get out of the way.

Keep your head up. There is NOTHING sick about caring for ANY people, be they old, young, healthy, or very ill. Incarceration does not strip a person of being a human being, and needing people to help them when they are in need. You see people as just that, people who need nurses and doctors who see them for what they are, and not pass judgment or choose not to care for them because of their own self serving inability to deal with illness, and sadness and loss.

I wish you all the luck in the world, and cannot wait to hear more about your success

[ALOHAlolo]

I was asked by my best friend-"why would you want to be a waitress to the worst costomers-who don't even tip?"-Last I saw nurses make pretty good bank and the tips are collected in the heart!:redpinkhe

[inpatientlywaiting]

I work on an Peds onc floor. It takes a lot of compassion to do that. Yes it's sad, but you can also watch them get better, go to their 5 year parties, celebrate their last day of chemo, and see them come back to visit looking great! They need support, families need support. The death of a loved one is an experience they will never forget. You can make sure that experience is as smooth and as peaceful as possible. Good Luck