I gotta vent!

  1. What a day...and it's only 1pm.

    I thought today would be an easy one. I got to sleep in (sleeping in for me is waking up around 9:30am; I'll take whatever I can get with no complaints), I had a decent breakfast, and I got some serious math work done in preparation for a quiz coming up. I'm trying to stay motivated and on top of my work, but just when I least expect it....more doom and gloom.

    I'm speaking with my boyfriend of three years (yes ladies, 3, and I'm getting impatient ), and he tells me that he was speaking with a family member of his about my returning to school to become a nurse. This family member happens to be a nurse. She proceeds to tell him that nursing is a great field with great opportunities. However, her friend was rejected from nursing school last year, and got in by the skin of her teeth this year. She goes on to say just how hard nursing school is, how she couldn't hold a job, how failing one test can get you kicked out in most schools. As he told me these things, I could just feel the anger and frustration build up. I was already dealing with math this morning(my worst subject, but I'm cuttin' it), and now I have to hear all this. It was like she was warning me through my boyfriend about nursing school, like she didn't believe I would make it. I think this was just the icing on the cake. Conversations like this have been occuring between me and my friends and family for the past 2 months. I'm tired, y'all. I can't take this anymore.

    I'm tired of being warned. I have done my research. Anyone who knows me at all knows when I get onto something, I'm on it! I research and research. I find the good and the bad, and I make my decision. Well folks, I've made my decision. I will say it again: doing something well doesn't mean you were meant to do that thing. Yes, I can sing. Yes, I've trained and performed and traveled and all that, and I'm good at it, but THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I'm tired of being told I was born to do this and do that when that is not what my heart is telling me. Being a nurse is a new concept to me, but I originally went to college to become a doctor. Music kinda swept me off my feet for a minute, but had I been a smarter person then, I would have stuck with my biology degree and sang on the side. This is what I plan to do once nursing school is over. I finally feel myself coming full circle, and I have always been up for a good challenge. I know I can't allow people to discourage me, but it's so hard to believe in yourself when those around you are telling you why you shouldn't do something. I guess I should tell them to shut up.

    I left school in 2002 with 107 credits! My goal is to complete my degree this summer(I need only one course to graduate, and that's another story for another time), and enter a second degree program this fall or january of 2008. Yes, I know it will be hard...very hard, but I know I can cut it. I've done it before, and I can do it again. I just wish my friends and family were more supportive. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for listening.

    :Melody: opradiva
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  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   prmenrs
    This will be tough, because you probably want to reach right thru the phone and tear his face off, but one thing that has worked for me (after hyperventilating for a bit) was to just say, "Thank you. I appreciate your concern. However, if you can't say anything supportive and encouraging, please don't say anything. I need positive right now. OK?"

    Repeat those words to anyone who needs to hear them, as many times as they need it repeated.

    Be as assertive as you can! If you get the "but I'm just trying to help" line, be very clear that telling you you "can't" do this is NOT helpful. If there are supportive members of your family and friends, recruit their aid.

    I'm very glad you are moving towards what YOU want to do. Keep going!!
  4. by   opradiva
    Thanks for that advice. I really needed to hear that.

    I know I can do this. I just wish that folks were more supportive. I don't want to give the impression that my bf is not...I think he just doubts that I will stick with it. He is very supportive, but he doesn't understand that he could have kept that particular story to himself. I cannot tolerate negativity. You're absolutely right; if you can't say anything positive, don't say anything at all.

    I know the challenges that await me. I am ready for it. I feel like right now, I need to focus on me and what I want to do. I'm gonna do this no matter what it takes.

    opradiva
  5. by   lainith
    Oh boy. I feel for you! Nursing school is notoriously tough, though! You will hear it not only from everyone who is a nurse, everyone who has been through nursing school, everyone who has flunked out of nursing school, as well as well-meaning family and friends. But those comments probably make you feel like they think you are not smart enough to make it or maybe like they are just waiting for you to fail so that they can say "I told you so!" Anyway, that is how they make me feel! People generally mean well with the comments, thinking they will dissuade you from doing something that you might fail at, thereby saving you from the hurt of failing... but really it just feels like they think you WILL fail! But is it better to try and possibly fail or never try and be a bum the rest of your life? I would rather try and know I couldn't do it than spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened had I ignored the nay-sayers.

    You CAN do it! I hope that soon you and I will be seeing each other on the boards chatting about how nursing school is going and how much longer it is til graduation!

    PS - Have been with my DBF for three years on Feb 20th and I am getting impatient, too, but that is another story. If you ever want to commiserate, send me a private message!
  6. by   opradiva
    Thanks lainith for the words of encouragement.

    I definitely don't want to look back on my life and regret.

    Nursing represents so much to me at this time in my life. It represents service, first and foremost, which has always been important to me. It represents good, honest, hard work. It represents stability. I know the road will be tough. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. Yes, I can't wait for the day to arrive when I can put those letters behind my name. I can see the acceptance letter. I know this all sounds extremely corny, lol!! I'm just so excited about all of this. I can't wait for the journey to begin.

    And yes.....we could talk about these boyfriends forever. When will they learn? Soon, I hope! PM me anytime!

    :Melody: opradiva
  7. by   morte
    hmmmm if you were well on your way to a biology degree....(with decent grades)....you will not fail in nursing school....check out with these folks if what they are trying to say is the same thing that i just did.....other than that be blunt, "i need Positive support, not negativity" otherwise we need not discuss.

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