Are You A Victim?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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  1. Do you use victim language?

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A professor in my past semester at college left a very powerful idea with me, one that I think can really benefit a lot of people on this board.

I walked into my first day of Anatomy & Physiology this past semester, and I was nervous. I sat in the front of the class and waited for a professor who was deemed one of the toughest at my school, but also one of the most well liked. I didn't know what to expect of him, or the course other than the psyche out I was getting on this board about how hard A&P was.

In walked a laid back guy in his mid-30's, he had a smile on and was looking over what were now his students. I thought for sure he was sizing us up, and his first question was, "How many of you work?" A majority of the class raised their hands, he nodded.

"How many of you have kids?" Some kept their hands up, and some new hands joined those in the air.

The professor nodded again, "How many of you guys are victims?"

One girl asked what I was trying to figure out in my own head,

"Uh, victims of what?"

The professor took a seat and begin to lay out, what I now believe every professor should lay out at the beginning of a course.

He introduced us to what some of you in the education community know as Victim vs. Creator language. He said the people who complain about the course, make excuses for why they aren't doing well, and unfavorably compare themselves to other will be the 50% of the class that drops.

He let us know that to do well in something you must take on full personal responsibility. Sure, you can have a bad professor, but in the end, it's not about the professor. It's about you mastering material and your dedication to it. If you know the subject inside and out, it doesn't matter what is put on an exam, if you create a wealth of information and truly understand concepts, you'll do fine.

If you make excuses about work or kids affecting your success in school, stop! If work or kids are taking up too much of your time, than maybe it's not the right time to focus on school. Things come up, but if you don't meet it head on an create a solution then you won't succeed.

If you always say you're not smart enough, or studious enough, than you won't be. If negative thoughts occupy your mind, there will be a negative output in your work.

If you're comparing yourself to the top students unfavorably, you're hurting yourself. Instead make friends with those students, emulate them, what are they doing that you aren't?

I get so bummed out when I get on these boards and I see many of you being victims. I know I sometimes think if I had a dollar for every time I saw some of you posting that you're not smart enough, or that some professor wronged you, or work or kids or other classes got in the way... well I could probably pay for my education right now.

Based on these board the environment of future nurses of America may be people who "just got by." Of people who are victims of their circumstance.

Personally, I want to be in the company of nurses who are creators. People who aren't victims of their situation, but people who create solutions. People who seek help from those who are more skilled, people who turn complaints into structured requests. Most importantly, people who are self-aware and strive to constantly improve themselves. My hope is that I am surrounded by these people so that we can improve the lives of others.

Hopefully awareness is raised about this, I just want success for everyone who feels like I do for the profession.

Specializes in Prior military RN/current ICU RN..

Bottom line is you will have bosses you like..you will have bosses you don't like. The key is learning to adapt and survive in any situation.

Inspiring post. Thank you!

Specializes in LTC, home health, critical care, pulmonary nursing.

I got through nursing school, and did well, while working 60+ hours a week, by taking responsibility for my own education. I had a couple of ridiculous, nasty teachers too. You get out of the program what you put into it. It sounds counterintuitive, but if you expect the instructors to "teach" you, instead of choosing to utilize every experience as a learning opportunity, you won't do well. I actually learned a lot from the two instructors I hated. I was fortunate enough to have some fabulous, encouraging instructors too though!

How's it possible to work 60+ hours per week on top of nursing classes, clinicals, and study time? Maybe your school is different, because there's no way we could do that. The program is 15 credits per semester (BSN) and class is everyday. Well, I also have a child too, but man! You must've been busy!

Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
How's it possible to work 60+ hours per week on top of nursing classes clinicals, and study?[/quote']

^Working 32 hours on the weekends, and at least 4 8 hour shifts...some have "time management" down to a science. :nurse:

Specializes in LTC, home health, critical care, pulmonary nursing.

Let me tell you, it wasn't easy. It was miserable. I didn't sleep or clean my apartment for two years. But, nobody volunteered to pay the bills for me while I went to school. I had no support whatsoever, so I had no choice. I had to make it work.

^Working 32 hours on the weekends, and at least 4 8 hour shifts...some have "time management" down to a science. :nurse:

Can you teach me how to time manage like that? Lol

Let me tell you it wasn't easy. It was miserable. I didn't sleep or clean my apartment for two years. But, nobody volunteered to pay the bills for me while I went to school. I had no support whatsoever, so I had no choice. I had to make it work.[/quote']

Well that's very inspiring & I'd love to be able to manage my time super wisely like that!

Specializes in LTC, home health, critical care, pulmonary nursing.

I don't know that I necessarily had a handle on time management, I just plowed ahead with my to do list until it was done. I worked day shifts and night shifts, and when I would work nights I would do NCLEX questions with the nurse, or go over study guides when I had down time. There was never any down time on the day shifts. I really had to prioritize my school work. You know how in nursing school, there's the important things like the tests, and then the redundant busy work crap like care plans and papers? I spent my energy studying for the tests, and honestly didn't work all that hard on the other stuff. I got it done, but it wasn't my best work. I focused on what I needed to learn to pass and to safely practice. And in the six years I've been a nurse, I haven't used one single nursing diagnosis, so I must have done something right! ;)

I loved this story. People always assumed I was just some super smart girl with no cares in the world until they realized I had two kids, was married, and one of my kids was a cancer patient. I never make excuses. I work hard and hate the excuses others who really don't have an excuse make for why they aren't getting A's or doing better in the class. The only thing that keeps you from doing well is you.

I loved this story. People always assumed I was just some super smart girl with no cares in the world until they realized I had two kids was married, and one of my kids was a cancer patient. I never make excuses. I work hard and hate the excuses others who really don't have an excuse make for why they aren't getting A's or doing better in the class. The only thing that keeps you from doing well is you.[/quote']

Wow! You are truly an inspiration. As I began reading this post I was like "Yes, I hate how people always assume that..." And then to find out your child was a cancer patient?! You should come and speak with some of the "victims" I know...it really would put things in perspective. I agree with you completely on the basis that victims look at me like I have got it easy, and as if I was simply born with knowledge. However, it's not like I twiddle my thumbs all day and pick tulips or something...I work hard! I study more, read more, and whine less! And that's why I have better outcomes than my victim friends. But you...how you maintained the dedication and courage to continue despite that cancer diagnosis is amazing. I wish you all the best in your life, and I know you'll succeed because you have CHOSEN to!

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