OP...hang in there. A bit of hazing should be expected in the OR. The Otis elevator joke has been long running. They wouldn't kid around with you if they thought you were a total idiot. They want to see how you react.
As far as the RNFA goes, her behavior seems "territorial" to me. She is also testing you. You wrote:
"She also asks for things in a very stern way and half the time she says stuff really quick almost on purpose so i have to ask her to repeat it to make sure I get the right item."
She is likely wanting to see if you are paying attention to the field. This is an assumption, but I have seen residents and attendings do this.
If, when you ask her to repeat the requested item, and she is downright nasty/condescending to you, simply reply that you don't have a comprehension problem, you just didn't hear what she said. The onus then lies with her to repeat what she needs in a more respectful way.
I'll share a story with you:
When I first started in the OR, I was humble, vigilant, always positive and very eager to learn. I smiled all the time, and thought that my outgoing attitude would be embraced. I knew that the OR was a tightly knit group, and was prepared to "take my lumps". I got the same 'Otis elevator' joke, got sent on wild goose chases for a 'henway', etc. Staff snickered behind my back, and made bets on how long it would take for me to lose my sunny disposition. I also felt that I was being scrutinized.
I WAS being scrutinized. The team wanted to make sure that I understood the rationale behind my implementations (i.e., sterile prep), if I could think on my feet, and if I had not only a sense of humor, but also a thick skin.
I learned the hard way that being "nice" isn't necessarily an asset that is valuable in the OR. Some people equate nice with weak. Not saying that's right, but sometimes, that's the perception. The surgeons don't care if you are nice; they are only concerned that you know what you're doing.
Without going into a long drawn out explanation of the definition of nice, let's suffice it to say that you should conduct yourself in a professional way, with a sort of "neutrality" in the beginning. Don't be overly nice, don't try to strike up conversations during a procedure, and don't knock yourself out trying to appease every single person in the OR. Be inquisitive at the appropriate times, and do your homework. Prepare by looking at the cases that you will be doing the next day, and research the procedures.
Snarky remarks from the RNFA ("it isn't going to tie itself") should be met with a neutral tone, tinged with JUST the right amount of backbone. I am having a hard time giving an example of how you should do this, because I am a very sarcastic person by nature. I would have said something like "Oh yeah. I remember reading that in a textbook somewhere." When you stand up for yourself while alluding to the ridiculousness of these kinds of comments, the staff will likely think, "hmmmm....she's gonna fit in nicely!"
Bottom line: be prepared, don't take anything personally, when you get pushed, push back (gently and tactfully with the right amount of wit). The staff and surgeons will respect you if they know that you can hold your own.